Waalaikum assalam Maria & welcome to Islam!
Sister, if u feel you haven't been doing your part.. the doors of repentance are wide open for us..
“And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Full of Loving-Kindness, [85:014]
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere [2:155]
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Wondrous are the believer’s affairs. For him there is good in all his affairs, and this is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him, he is patient, and that is good for him” (Muslim).
Strengthen yourself with remembering Allah all day, with your tongue & in your heart…during all your activities. For every need, from the great to the tiniest one – ask of Him, depend on Him and beseech Him for help. The more we turn to Allah, the stronger we become, inshallah. Make lotts of duas .. they’re the weapon and armour of believers. Recite & ponder over Qur’anic ayats … they’ll heal, comfort, strengthen and inspire you at all times, inshallah, there's much you can do.
Pls check out this excellent article :
http://gawaher.com/forum/Seek_Help_in_Patience_and_Prayer_When_faced_with-t6813.html - http://gawaher.com/forum/Seek_Help_in_Patience_and_Prayer_Wh en_faced_with-t6813.html
I pray that it benefits you.
May ar-Rahman cover you with His loving Mercy and keep you firm upon His path.
love u for Allah’s sake.
ur sister in islam
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
[Qur'an 3:142] Did ye think that ye would enter Heaven without God testing those of you who fought hard (In His Cause) and remained steadfast?
[ Qur'an 2:214] Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of God?" Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!
[Qur’an 3:8] "Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate now after You have guided us, but grant us mercy from Your own Presence; for You are the Grantor of bounties without measure.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The extent of the reward will be in accordance with the extent of the trial. If Allah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever is content will have contentment, and whoever is angry will have anger.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2320; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2210).
Some beautiful sunnah duas...
" O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better in exchange for it. "
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has said: "If any Muslim who suffers some calamity says that which Allah has commanded him: “O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better in exchange for it", then Allah will give him something better than it in exchange. " (Reported in Musnad of Imam Ahmad & in Sahih Al-Muslim)
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that the supplication of the distressed person is :
“O Allah it is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and correct for me all my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You”. (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2320; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2210).
If you feel further away from God than you did once; don't be under any illusion as to who it is that has moved.