Paradise welcomes the wife

Anas (radhiallaho anho) reported Allah's messenger as saying, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes (in other words nothing will prevent her from entering paradise)." (Mishtat)

Allah's creation prays for the wife

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "The birds in flight, the fish in the rivers, the angels in heaven and the animals in the jungles seek repentance for the woman who is obedient and submits to her husband."

It is worth considering that merely upon doing the above women earn this great reward. It is to be noted that if there are any sins in one's account, those are forgiven by repentance and subsequent repentance causes elevation of one's grade in paradise.

Obedience towards the husband is not unqualified. The scope of obedience extends to those matters which are classified as the rights of the husband. Another rule is that the husband or anyone else cannot be obeyed if the act required amounts to disobedience of Allah.

None can be obeyed in acts of transgression to Allah.

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "O women, the pious among you will enter Paradise before pious men. When the husbands will enter Paradise these women will be presented to their husbands after being bathed and perfumed. These women will be on red and yellow coloured conveyances accompanied by children (as beautiful) as scattered pearls."

Allah's special mercy on the wife

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "May Allah show mercy to a woman who gets up during the night and prays, who wakens her husband and he prays, but if he refuses, sprinkles water on his face."

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) also said in the above detailed hadith: "The woman who dies during pregnancy gets the status of a martyr. . . "

Addressing Salamah (radhiallaho anha), the nurse of his son Ibrahim (radhiallaho anho), the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said, "Does it not please any one of you that if she conceives by her husband and he is satisfied with her that she receives the reward of fasting and vigil for Allah's sake. And none of the dwellers of Heaven or Earth know about the coolness of her eyes (a unique repose) she will get for the labor pains she suffered. When she delivers, not mouthful of milk flows from her and not an instance of the child's suck, but that she receives for every suck and mouthful, the reward of a good deed. If she is kept awake by her child during the night she receives the reward of freeing seventy slaves for the sake of Allah."

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) then said: "O Sallamah do you know which women are being referred to? Those who despite piety and enjoying a respectable position obey their husbands and do not belittle them." (Al-Tabarani)

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "When a woman spends (in the Path of Allah) from her husband's wealth, not wasting it (but spends reasonably and within permissible limits) she will have her reward for what she gave and her husband will have his for what he earned. The same applies to the storekeeper. The reward of any of these persons does not diminish the rewards of the others." (Bukhari)

Reward for pilgrimage

Narrated A'isha (radhiallaho anha), the mother of the faithful believers: I requested the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) to permit me to participate in Jihad, but he said, "Your Jihad is the performance of Hajj." (Bukhari)

According to another narration, the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) remarked, "The (best) Jihad (for women) is (the performance) of Hajj." (Bukhari)

Reward earned in the safety of the home.

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "Waging Jihad is not obligatory for women (as long as it remains Fard-e-Kifaya), nor is attending (congregational) prayers on Fridays and accompanying funerals." (Kanz)

Reward for the loving wife

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said:: "Allah likes the woman who obeys and loves her husband and protects herself from other men." (Kanz)

Men counterparts of Women

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "Women are twin halves of men." (Kanz)

Leniency towards women enjoined

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) instructed in the longer hadith: "Act kindly toward women, for a woman is created from a rib. . . " (Bukhari)

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "May Allah have mercy on women who wear the sirwal (loose fitting lower garment)." (Kanz)

The great value of women's actions.

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "The vice of an immoral woman is equal to the vice of a thousand immoral men while the virtue of a pious woman is equal to the reward of worship of seventy saints." (Kanz)

Honourable mention of the wife.

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "The best among your wives is the one who is chaste and loves her husband." (Kanz)

Verbal honour earns reward

A companion said, "O Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) I have a wife, When I meet her she says, 'Welcome my chief and the chief of my household. ' When she finds me in a sad mood she says, 'Why worry about this world when the provision for your after-life is being earned (anyway)?" ' Upon hearing this the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said; "Inform that lady that she is among the workers of Allah , and she earns the rewards of half Jihad." (Kanz)

Quality of reward with men

Asma (radhiallaho anha), reported that she approached the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) on behalf of women and mentioned that men have excelled women due to their participation in Friday and congregational prayers, visiting the sick, attending funeral prayers, performing the Hajj; and Umra and due to participation in Jihad. The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) replied: "Go and inform the women that their beautification for their husbands, discharging their rights, seeking their pleasure and obeying them is equal in reward (to the above mentioned acts) of men." (Kanz)

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "From the instant of conceiving up to the delivery and nursing of the baby, the woman gets the same reward as the one who has been appointed to guard the boundaries of Islam and remains steadfast for Jihad. If she dies during this period, she gets the reward of a martyr." (Kanz)

“We have enjoined man to respect his parents; his mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, while his weaning takes two years. Thank Me as well as your parents; unto Me is the journeying.” (Quran 31:14)

Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none except Him, and (that you show) kindness to your parents. If one or both of them attain old age (while they are) with you, never say to them 'Shame!' nor scold either of them. Speak to them in a respectable fashion and lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little. (Quran 17:23,24)

Worship none save Allah (only) and be good to parents and also near relatives, orphans and the needy. (Quran 2:83)

Jahmah (radhiallaho anho) said to the Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam), "O Messenger of Allah, I desire to go on a (military) expedition and I have come to consult you." He asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he said: "Stay with her because Paradise lies beneath her feet." (An-Nasai)

A man asked the Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) to whom he should show kindness and he replied: "Your mother" He asked who comes next and he replied, "Your mother." He asked who comes next and he replied, "Your mother." He asked who comes next and he replied, "Your father, then your relatives in order of relationship." (Tirmizi, Abu Da'ud)

Narrated Anas (radhiallaho anho): A man came to the messenger of Allah (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) and said: I longed to go on Jihad but I was not able to. He said: Is either one of your parents still alive? The man said: My mother. He said: Allah has instructed us in devotion to her, so if you do thus, you are as one who has made the Hajj, the umrah and participated in jihad." (At-Tabarani)

“Narrated Ibn 'Abbas (radhiallaho anho): Do not leave your mother unless she gives permission or death takes her, because that is the greatest (deed) for your rewards." (Al-Kabir):

"Narrated Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn Al-As (radhiallaho anho) about the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) that he said: The major sins are associating anything with Allah, and rudeness to parents, and killing anyone and swearing a false oath purposefully." (Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Isa Al-Mughirah (radhiallaho anho) that the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: Verily, Allah forbade for you, rudeness to mothers." (Muslim)

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "Whoever brings up two girls until they attain adulthood, he will be with me on the Day of Judgement, and so close to me as these two (adjacent) fingers of mine (and he pointed to his two fingers joined together). (Muslim)

Narrated Ibn Abbas (radhiallaho anho): There is no Muslim, whose two daughters reach the age (of adulthood), and he is good to them as a companion, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise." (Bukhari)]

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "Each time the baby sucks milk the nursing woman gets the reward as of giving life to a mortal and when she completes the feeding the angels pat her on the shoulders and declare that all her past sins have been forgiven." (Kanz)

Pleasant after-life assured

A'isha (radhiallaho anha) narrates the hadith that the woman whose husband is absent and she guards herself in such a manner that she does not adorn herself, and stays home and observes the prayers regularly, will be raised as a virgin on the Day of Judgment. If her husband was a believer she will be his wife in Paradise. If he was not a believer (e.g. Allah forbid he turned a disbeliever and died in that condition), Allah will marry her to a martyr." (Kanz)

A’isha (radhiallaho anho) said that a man does not become the head of the household until he gives up the concern (out of consideration for the other members of his family) about what he wore and what food he ate to satisfy his hunger. (Kanz)

Husband forbidden to hate wife.

Abu Huraira (radhiallaho anho) reported Allah's Messenger (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) as saying; "A believing man must not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another (of her good qualities)." (Mishtat)

“Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. (Quran 4:19)

The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "None of you will lose three children by death and accept it (as Allah's will with the intent of earning reward) without entering Paradise." (Muslim)

Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) informed that the recompense is the same even for two.

According to another narration, a companion enquired' about the death of only one child. In this case also the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) conveyed the glad tidings of a great reward.

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said in the above, longer hadith: "If a woman has a miscarriage, even the (still-born) foetus will drag its mother to Paradise provided she forbears with the intention of earning reward. . . " (Kanz)

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: "The best treasure is an obedient wife having a good disposition so that her husband is pleased to see her and she obeys him and when the husband is not home she protects her chastity.

Should an attitude of defiance be adopted (as opposed to that of mutual consultation) it will naturally lead to discord the family which will be ruinous for all. This hadith therefore enjoins loyalty and faithfulness with a promise of a vast reward. (Ma 'Arif al Hadith)

A'isha (radhiallaho anha) has related that the Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips. (Uswa-i-Hasna)

Ibn Mastud (radhiallaho anho) said, "Mix with the people on the condition that your religion is not injured, and joke with your family." (Bukhari)

The Holy Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) has said: "O men. There is a reward in your affinity with the wife." (Ibn Hiban)

During the farewell Pilgrimage the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said to the camel driver: "Anjasha, drive slowly; for you are carrying (on the camels, women, delicate like fine) glassware." (Muslim)

`Narrated Abu Qatadah (radhiallaho anho): The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said: When I stand for prayer, I intend to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I cut it short, as I dislike to trouble the child's mother." (Bukhari)

A subtle hint in this verse is that instead of each demanding his, or her, rights, they should be mindful of their duty towards each other. This will eliminate the problem of demanding one's rights because the rights of women are nothing but the duties ordained for men. Likewise men's rights are merely duties enjoined upon women. Thus when the respective duties are performed, the rights of each party will automatically be fulfilled.

Nowadays, the root cause of disputes is that everyone keeps his rights in focus but is heedless of his own obligations. This attitude leads to bitter quarrels among couples or other parties having mutual dealings. The above interpretation of the Quranic verse teaches the method of avoiding this sad trend by emphasising that each should make all conceivable effort to fulfil the rights of the other, while at the same time adopt leniency, flexibility and forgiveness concerning assertion of his own rights. Allah's pleasure can be earned by giving up the exacting fulfilment of one's own rights.

House women wherever you reside, according to your circumstances, and do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them. (Quran 65:6)

Asma (radhiallaho anha) said, "My mother who was a pagan, came with her father during the period of the peace pact between the Muslims and the Quraish infidels. I went to seek the advice of the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) saying, My mother has arrived and she is hoping (for my favour)." The Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said, "Yes, be good to your mother." (Good treatment implies good behaviour; helping her financially; visiting her etc.) (Bukhari)

Thus no male has the authority to spend from the wealth and property of a female without her permission. Women remain fully independent and cannot be coerced in any way. Even in the event of divorce or their husband's death, women get their share of inheritance as stipulated by Islamic Law in the same way as men get their share. However, unlike men, women are not responsible for maintaining any relative, irrespective of their sound financial standing. The husband is not at liberty to help his relatives at the detriment of his own family.

Narrated Abu Huraira (radhiallaho anho): Allah's Apostle (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) said, "The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should support your dependants first." (Bukhari)

Abu Huraira (radhiallaho anho) reported Allah's Messenger (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) as saying: Of the dinar (money) that you spend as a contribution in Allah's path, or to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family. (Muslim)

The Islamic Law revealed to the Prophet, upon whom be thousands of blessings, teaches that pleasing women and spending for their welfare is a form of worship. Should the husband fail to grant her essential rights, she has the recourse of Islamic Law to secure the same or else compel him to divorcee her. (The vast rights of women in matters of divorce, alimony, child custody, etc., may be seen in books of Islamic Jurisprudence)

To prevent injustice and distress, it is in-sufficient to fulfil rights that merely satisfy the letter of the Law. The underlying spirit of the Law is equally important. Therefore, according to Islam the social norms are an additional criterion to determine if the parties are suffering injustice. Hence Islam forbids those attitudes and dealings which inflict injury or annoyance according to the established norms of society. For example, ignoring someone in a given society might be more painful than in another society. These matters cannot be dealt with in courts of Law, therefore they are encompassed by this provision of "social norms."

Common usage is (binding like) a condition

You who believe, shield yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel will be men and stones. . . " (Quran 66:6)

When this ordinance was revealed, Umar (radhiallaho anho) mentioned, "O Messenger of Allah ! It is understandable to worry about saving oneself from Hell-fire (by avoiding sins and adhering firmly to the Divine Commandments), but how can we save our families from Hell?" Allah's Prophet responded: "This can be achieved by dissuading your family from whatever Allah has forbidden you and by enjoining the deeds which Allah has enjoined on you. Your family can thus be saved from Hell."

Beware, each of you is a guardian and each of you will be questioned about your wards. The man is the guardian of his family and will be answerable about every member of it. . . (Mishkat)

The one to whom Allah entrusted the responsibility of supervision but he did not perform this duty satisfactorily, and did not impart good instructions; will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise. (Mishkat)

In carrying out the entrusted duty of supervision, men should proceed gradually and sensibly, exercising magnanimity and patience. The learned scholars should be consulted to avoid extremes, because an unbalanced attitude causes cruelty, and quarrels. Instead of producing a virtuous result, the immoderate approach results in evil and sin.

The blessed Islamic Law has also forbidden unfounded suspicion, mistrust, inquisitiveness and undue investigation. On the contrary, Islam teaches wise and subtle manners for a pleasant social life. For example, it is also from among the mannerisms of returning from a journey that the husband should convey the news about his return to his family, so that they might not be taken by surprise.

The following saying of the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) narrated by Jabir (radhiallaho anho) contains this teaching:

We were with the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) on an expedition. When we were about to enter Madina the Prophet (sallallaho alaihi wasallam) told us to wait until later in the evening in order that the lady with unkempt hair may comb it and the woman whose husband has been away may get herself clean. (Muslim)

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