I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I have had many hard times myself. I find that reciting verses from the Qur'an that tell us this life is a trial are very helpful. Repeating these thoughts over and again help me as well. Plus, always keeping Allah in mind, especially at the worst of times, keeps me from going "overboard". Telling myself that the life of this world means nothing compared to the life to come helps as well.
Here are some verses along these lines:
2:155-157 - "And most certainly shall We try you by means of danger, and hunger, and loss of worldly goods, of lives and of (labour's) fruits. but give glad tidings unto those who are patient in adversity - who, when calamity befalls them, say, 'Verily, unto Allah do we belong and verily, unto Him we shall return'. It is they upon whom their Sustainer's blessings and grace are bestowed, and it is they, they who are on the right path!"
29:64 - "For, the life of this world is nothing but a passing delight and a play - whereas, behold, the life in the hereafter is indeed the only [true] life: if they but knew this!"
57:20 - "Know [O men] that the life of this world is but a play and a passing delight, and a beautiful show, and [the cause of] your boastful vying with one another, and [of your] greed for more and more riches and children."
3:186 - "You shall most certainly be tried in your possessions and in your persons; and indeed you shall hear many hurtful things from those to whom revelation was granted before your time, as well as from those who have come to ascribe divinity to other beings beside Allah. But if you remain patient in adversity and conscious of Him - this, behold, is something to set one's heart upon."
4:77 - "...Say" 'Short is the enjoyment of this world: the Hereafter is the best for those who do right: never will ye be dealt with unjustly in the very least!'"
Here are some dua'a that I like:
Ya Allah! My wrong doing cries for Your Pardon; My sin cries for Your Forgiveness; My fear cries for Your Security; My poverty cries for Your Richness; My weakness cries for Your Strength; My humbleness cries for Your Might; and my expiring face cries for Your Everlasting Glory. Aameen!
Ya Allah! I thank You for all in Your Creation that makes me feel joy, experience happiness, and know peace. Aameen!
Rubbana! You do not put a greater burden on a soul than it can bear. You are not angry with us when we make mistakes but are quick to forgive us and set us right. You do not lead us into moral and spiritual danger without protecting and guiding us, so that our souls can emerge unscathed. You do not allow us to be defeated by the deceits of unbelievers, but ensure that ultimately truth will be victorious. Rubbana! We listen to You and we obey You. Aameen!
Rubbana! Put courage into my heart and take away all that may hinder me serving You. Free my tongue to proclaim Your Goodness, that all may understand me. Give me friends to advise and help me, that by working together our efforts may bear abundant fruit. And above all, let me constantly remember that my actions are worthless unless they are guided by Your Hand. Aameen!
Above all else, Severa, remember that Allah answers sincere prayers and that He is always near! "To Allah belong the East and the West: withersoever ye turn, there is the Presence of Allah. For Allah is All-Pervading, All-Knowing." 2:115
Hope this is helpful!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~