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A Woman’s Love for a Man

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups Men (Brothers)
Forum Discription: Groups Men (Brothers)
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3605
Printed Date: 30 October 2014 at 11:38pm


Topic: A Woman’s Love for a Man
Posted By: Israfil
Subject: A Woman’s Love for a Man
Date Posted: 05 February 2006 at 12:46pm

As'Salaamu Alaikum brothers!

With all due respect since I'm posting this discussion here for only the brothers and particularly Muslim men I hope the sister can respect my wishes and not respond here. I wanted to ask you brothers what you all think about love? In particularly if you can if you are married tell me what love is like in marriage? Also tell em what you think about love? Is it unconditional for you? Is it conditional for you.

Allow me to go briefly.... Love to me in my opinion is logical and its conditional. At first I thought maybe love was unconditional but I think in certain situations such as infidelity I believe those would turn the relationship into a conditional form. Honestly the world has turned itself inside out. Love to me is non-existent. The way relationships are nowadays they are conditonal forms of marital bliss. I myself cannot find any decent sisters in my masjid and it has been tough with Police Academy so it hasn't helped either.

I just recently met a woman who is in my Academy class who, although is not Muslim was interested in who I was as a person. Some of the sisters in my masjid I cxannot talk to personally for obvious reasons but they never really give me a chance. Most of them, I later find are intimidated by me because of my athletic figure and my tattoos that I'm some sort of player type and that I'll be a cheater eventually. Most of them are too into their culture.

This indvidual person is nice however. Smart funny and attractive. I understand Islamically speaking I'm not supposed to be having conversation with this person but in all honesty as Allah knows I've tried. It's hard being a single, mature and motivating man. Brothers Ive tried meeting sisters in majid but as I mentioned above they are too involved in culture. Me being African-American even some of the African sisters. However I don't look at culture as other sisters do.

Point being is that there are some feelings with this woman and although I know it isn't love it is something. So far the situation is cordial but there might be something down the road and who knows? Perhaps this situation too, is God's will. Besides the question above what do you brothers have to say for me here in this situation?




Replies:
Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 19 February 2006 at 11:44pm

wow, a months almost gone and nothing

 



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~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~


Posted By: Megatron
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 11:35pm

I don't want to sound like Bill Clinton, but "I feel your pain".  I've been rejected by Muslim women as well where I live because I'm from a different culture. 

If a woman can't accept you for who you are, that's their problem.  I learned that a long time ago.  You can't change who you are and if you try to be someone else, you'll just be a big loser. 

Most women hate eccentricities in character or appearance, because most of them are morons.  Ignorant people are afraid of things they don't understand and since most women are ignorant, they tend to shy away from unconventional people.  Yeah I got some mysogynistic views, but I've been alive long enough to realize that all the PC stuff my mother fed me about women was garbage.  I'm sure there are Muslim women out there who aren't idiots and won't care if you have some tatoos and don't look like your average Johnny Muslim.

Invariably if you start anything with a non-Muslim woman, she'll most likely want to be intimate with you, which is haram.  Even a simple kiss or hug is not considered good. 

I don't see anything wrong with you talking to her as long as you are not alone.  If you're lucky, she might gain an interest in Islam.  If she doesn't I personally believe she should be kicked to the curb. 

I've been in a similar situation before.  You as the Muslim man have to follow a more strict set of rules so you need to be in control.  Try telling her where you are coming from with regard to your religious beliefs.  If she doesn't understand them, then I don't really forsee a future with her.

Personally speaking, I fell for a Catholic girl, but she couldn't accept that I was not able to touch her so she said goodbye.  I won't lie and say I'm not unbelievably bitter about it (I loved her), but I'm better off in the end.  I'd prefer to live a life of cold and utter loneliness than to compromise my beliefs, but that's just me.

You're in a Police Acadamy huh?  Is it anything like those irritating eighties movies?...what did they get up to Police Academy 8? 



Posted By: fehmi
Date Posted: 24 February 2006 at 12:19pm
Originally posted by Megatron

I don't want to sound like Bill Clinton, but "I feel your pain".  I've been rejected by Muslim women as well where I live because I'm from a different culture. 

......

Most women hate eccentricities in character or appearance, because most of them are morons.  Ignorant people are afraid of things they don't understand and since most women are ignorant, they tend to shy away from unconventional people.

May Allah help you get over the love pain as soon as possible, bro. I have also been rejected by both of the girls whom I revealed my love to. But I don't think that most women are morons. They are not more stupid than men usually. Let stupid and unbelieving women be for stupid and unbelieving men. May Allah give us much more pious and better wives than them. Amin.



Posted By: Megatron
Date Posted: 26 February 2006 at 10:10pm

Nobody is touching this topic because love between a man and woman is completely superficial.  It's just a release of endorphins and other neurochemicals. 

If you want that feeling of love, eat a lot of chocolate. 



Posted By: fehmi
Date Posted: 27 February 2006 at 12:16am
Originally posted by Megatron

Nobody is touching this topic because love between a man and woman is completely superficial.  It's just a release of endorphins and other neurochemicals. 

If you want that feeling of love, eat a lot of chocolate. 

Bro, you have become too pessimistic to appreciate the good and virtuous sides of love between a man and a woman.



Posted By: fehmi
Date Posted: 27 February 2006 at 12:19am

Also see this verse from the Qur'an:

30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.



Posted By: rami
Date Posted: 27 February 2006 at 5:02am
Bi ismillahir rahmanir raheem

assalamu alaikum

Do you know any muslim families, it would be a good idea if you can aproach the women or family and ask them to look on your behalf, a sheiklh can also do this for you more than likely some women have let him know they are ready for marriage and if he could arrange something with people he sees as suitble for them.

get a good muslim to vouch or look on your behalf.






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Rasul Allah (sallah llahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord" and whoever knows his Lord has been given His gnosis and nearness.


Posted By: taibhashim5031
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 2:13am

My Dear,

LOVE does not exist inmarried MAN.. and it never exist in any couple..

What existed is the urged to be together and lead a life together - that developed into an unwritten CONTRACT. Thus some may call it LOVE.

Once you are committed to lead a life together you MUST have the give and take culture, the caring culture and all that jess to lead a harmonious life.

If ONE of you is is NOT ready and the whole sys fail. This can happen in the early stage, middle stage or even at the post stage of marriage.



Posted By: enes
Date Posted: 28 May 2006 at 5:08am

I have read somethink about love , in another islamic forum..in shortly, there isnt love allowed...

 



Posted By: rememberallah
Date Posted: 07 August 2012 at 10:18am
saying love is unconditional is like saying one has freedom of speech......freedom of speech comes with its boundaries and so does unconditional love.....
me and my wife used to have tiffs at times but it didnt matter as they happen between any couples, the day she abused my old parents all husbandly love drained out.


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The whole world is like Hazrat Umar but no one is like his sister and brother in law.


Posted By: mandle55
Date Posted: 04 September 2012 at 12:34am
You are still young, your time will come when it is right, there is no need to try to hurry things a long by yourself, when you meet the right one you will know.




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