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love between a male n female

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups – Youth
Forum Discription: Groups – Youth
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2957
Printed Date: 28 November 2014 at 2:45pm


Topic: love between a male n female
Posted By: sonia_islam
Subject: love between a male n female
Date Posted: 12 November 2005 at 4:19am
is loving the other sex is haram

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salma



Replies:
Posted By: aishag88
Date Posted: 16 November 2005 at 11:52am

 I have been intersted in that too

 If you talk to another muslim guy (in interst of marrying him) and find yourself drawn to him, is that haraam?



Posted By: Amina16
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 7:03pm
ur not supposed to talk to guys even if muslim.  If u want to marry a guy get ur parents to talk to him first. 

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"Words have Power" ex: The Quran


Posted By: Dayem
Date Posted: 17 November 2005 at 9:19pm

ur not supposed to look at a person from opposite sex if u dont have any blood relation.

Quoting,

024.030
YUSUFALI: Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
024.031
YUSUFALI: And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.



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"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM


Posted By: aishag88
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 11:30am
 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?


Posted By: Amina16
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 7:34pm
i would like to know the same thing too.  In where i live not looking at someone is concidered rude.  My classmates and teachers get annoyed at me not looking at them.  But sometimes we have class discussions and u have to look at people. 

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"Words have Power" ex: The Quran


Posted By: Dayem
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 8:30pm

Actually, I am myself confused.

Maybe, not to look at a person from opposite sex is to insure that u dont get wrong ideas, or get influenced(like faling in love, etc.).But if it is necessary-like in school-then u will have to be on your guard, and ask for the forgiveness of Almighty.

(It will need backing up-its only my opinion).

Regards,Dayem.



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"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 18 November 2005 at 9:52pm
Originally posted by aishag88

 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?


We need some scholar to interpert those ayats, they can explain when they apply and under what circumstances. We cannot understand quran by simply reading the translation, its too dense

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Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 21 November 2005 at 4:57pm

Bismillah,

Dear sisters and brothers,

Yes, we do have to look into the eyes of our lecturer to understand the lecture, the teacher speaking to us, and the classmate whom we are working in class with.  To help with this, look for as long as you need to in order to understand what is being said and to communicate what you need to communicate.

Don't flirt.  Really, that is a great advance if you don't do that.  Don't accept someone flirting with you.  Walk away from them.

You can tell if there is any bad intention, and back away based on that.

Many people don't shake hands based on sharing illness.  We don't need to explain why we don't do that when we don't shake hands with someone.  We can make an excuse for that like "I am sick", in order to avoid long, difficult explanations.  Because the whole point is to not draw attention to ourselves and practice modest behavior.

The Quran you quoted says that Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.  This seems clearly based on the participants' evil intentions.  You don't have evil intentions, do you?  You are studying.  If you have any bad feelings, then you leave at once.  Otherwise, you are in a public place, and doing nothing wrong by paying attention to your studies.



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 21 November 2005 at 5:01pm

Bismillah,

That's certainly a question: loving the other sex wrong?

You can feel love for someone.  Why would that be wrong?  As long as you don't have bad intentions or do anything haram outwardly or think haram thoughts purposefully, why would it be wrong?

Allah, SWT, is oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.  Intentions as evil things is a Christian idea:  Good intentions pave the path to hell.  (Or I think it is:  The path to hell is paved with good intentions.)

But in Islaam we are rewarded for good intentions just for intending them, and not punished for bad intentions if we do not perform them or act upon them.



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: Amina16
Date Posted: 24 November 2005 at 1:33pm

Herjihad wrote"Many people don't shake hands based on sharing illness.  We don't need to explain why we don't do that when we don't shake hands with someone.  We can make an excuse for that like "I am sick", in order to avoid long, difficult explanations.  Because the whole point is to not draw attention to ourselves and practice modest behavior."

i don't think u should make up an excuse not to shake the opposite sex's hand  all u have to do is say u can't cuz its against ur religion and they will respect that.  Islam doesn't allow u to lie anyway.  U should always tell the trueth. 

When i first came to my Science class the teacher who was male extended his hand to me i said i can't its against my religion.  he respected that and didn't feel offended. 

Last year during awards ceremony I got some reward and when u go on stage u supposed to shake the Prencipal's hand.  When i got up i said "i can't shake ur hand cuz its against my religion."  He nodded his head and said " i understand."



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"Words have Power" ex: The Quran


Posted By: Dayem
Date Posted: 24 November 2005 at 6:04pm

Last year during awards ceremony I got some reward and when u go on stage u supposed to shake the Prencipal's hand.  When i got up i said "i can't shake ur hand cuz its against my religion."  He nodded his head and said " i understand."

Well, in my school u r suppsed to touch the feet of principal-so when I didnt do anything they must have thought me to be really rude-guy.

And I think Amina's reply is more convincing-

Regards,Dayem.



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"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM


Posted By: Amina16
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 10:20am
Originally posted by Dayem

Well, in my school u r suppsed to touch the feet of principal-so when I didnt do anything they must have thought me to be really rude-guy.

And I think Amina's reply is more convincing-

Regards,Dayem.

really u touch the feet of the principal?  I never heard this before. 

 



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"Words have Power" ex: The Quran


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 25 November 2005 at 12:28pm
Originally posted by Amina16

Originally posted by Dayem


<!-- Signature -->Well, in my school u r suppsed to touch the feet of principal-so when I didnt do anything they must have thought me to be really rude-guy.


And I think Amina's reply is more convincing-


Regards,Dayem.



really u touch the feet of the principal?  I never heard this before. 


 



worshipping ur principal? is it allowed to bow down in front of someone ? dosnt it forms tha basis of kufur ?

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Posted By: aishag88
Date Posted: 28 November 2005 at 11:50am

 In India touching the feet is a sign of respect, to show respect. But in islam i believe it is wrong. The only person/thing/god ( i am refreing the things people bow to)  we should bow to is Allah- The india thing is from stories i have read, and people I have met. Forgive me if i am wrong.

 Looking down is good, Looking at someboby in the west is respect, caring for what they are saying. Big  differnets of cultures, But I need to start looking down and not talking to guys. I don't flirt with them. But I still have found the guys have crushes on me!



Posted By: Jenni
Date Posted: 30 November 2005 at 2:32pm
I think if you are young that you should avoid developing feelings for any boy until you are ready for marraige. I don't know where it says that you cannot even look or talk to a guy until your parents talk to him first. Many muslims at least in the west meet as friends or through relatives or friends and have some spark and then tell thier parents they want to possibly marry the person and move forward. And if you work or are in college you will have to talk to boys sometimes, you just have to control yourself and be a professional and not flirt. If you are older however, like in your 30's or 40's I find it laughable that if you wanted to marry your parents would discuss it, you are a full grown adult after all, and your parents might be out of the country or not even alive. Peace

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You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 30 November 2005 at 5:57pm
Originally posted by aishag88

But I still have found the guys have crushes on me!


whats wrong with that ?


Posted By: no.shirk
Date Posted: 28 February 2006 at 5:29pm

salem alaykum, i was reading thru this thread and i found that many people with out knowledge are answering questions not even according to the quran and sunnah, heres a web site were you can ask scholars or sheihks with extensive research in islam http://www.islamqna.com/subpage.php?s=asktoquestion_1 - http://www.islamqna.com/subpage.php?s=asktoquestion_1  dear brothers and sisters im telling yous this because i love yous only for the sake of allah, fear allah!!! and ull be succesfull. 



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"I do not care in what state I wake up in the morning; whether it's good or bad. Because I do not know what is good for me, nor what is bad."
[Umar Ibn al-Khattab RA]



Posted By: -ArabianKnight-
Date Posted: 28 February 2006 at 10:03pm
Yes.. boys are bad.. stay away from us... nothing but trouble we are.... yes... CONTROL YOUR SELF!

The hand shaking thing is incredibly irregular. Though if it works for the Germaphobes.. I guess it can work for somone who wants to avoid all contact with the opposite sex. Though to say "Its because of my Religion" I think is extreme. If you are so suseptible to hormonal wiles that a simple hand-shake may set you off, then there are other issues at stake first..

I am not saying Imitate the west or their customs or whatever.... But a Hand-shake is a common Greeting.. if not Universal..

But i guess what works for some.. may not work for Others.. or everyone.. to each his own eh?

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THere Is no god, BUT GOD
and Adam was his First Messenger
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Posted By: truemuslim21
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 9:21pm
salaam, i dont personally think its wrong to love other sex. u have eyes , u have feelings. don't you? but what is imprtant is that is u really in love or playing. i dont think so love is beautiful but not everyone realize it.


Posted By: truemuslim21
Date Posted: 13 April 2006 at 9:32pm
is flirt and love same? i dont think so . why ppl think when u love someone then u are flriting. i dont agree with this totally . i love someone and i saw him year ago but there is something else, trust emotions feelings respect thats love.


Posted By: Amirul
Date Posted: 19 May 2006 at 6:42pm

Originally posted by aishag88

 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?

You can look at the other sex or talk with them but the thing you cant do is touch them or be alone with them.Thats haram.



Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 19 May 2006 at 8:32pm

Originally posted by aishag88

 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?
QUOTE]

yea go and live under taliban

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Posted By: herjihad
Date Posted: 21 May 2006 at 10:32am
Originally posted by Amirul

Originally posted by aishag88

 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?

You can look at the other sex or talk with them but the thing you cant do is touch them or be alone with them.Thats haram.

Bismillah,

Are you sure it's haram to be alone with someone?  I know it is makruh because it could lead to sin, but are you sure just the act of sitting and talking in a room with someone of the opposite sex a sin?



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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.


Posted By: Suleyman
Date Posted: 21 May 2006 at 12:17pm

Originally posted by Amina16

ur not supposed to talk to guys even if muslim.  If u want to marry a guy get ur parents to talk to him first. 

Teh,this writes in the book but i did not see on me,three months ago i loved someone who is from tariqah,she asked to her parents that she loves me but the parents did not accept my parents bcs of mines do not practice Islam,later on i called my parents for a another girl who is Muslim and her family is as same as mine who do not practice then finally again from my side my parents did not accept by the cause the girl that wears hijab...

Are you serious?...

 

 



Posted By: Amirul
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 8:04am
Originally posted by herjihad

Originally posted by Amirul

Originally posted by aishag88

 Wow I think thats kind of hard. I mean theres school, how you not look at another person of the opposite sex? any ideas?

You can look at the other sex or talk with them but the thing you cant do is touch them or be alone with them.Thats haram.

Bismillah,

Are you sure it's haram to be alone with someone?  I know it is makruh because it could lead to sin, but are you sure just the act of sitting and talking in a room with someone of the opposite sex a sin?

No,it's not haram if you sit with opposite sex in a room but theres must be other person in that place,not just you and your opposite sex companion but it is haram if you seat alone with the opposite sex if theres no other people in that place.The point is  you must been seen by other people.



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Posted By: fatima
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 9:43am

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaikum

it is true that you can fall for some1 and that is not haram, alhamdulillah Allah swt is most Mercifull and does not ask us about what is in our heart as we don't have complete control over it but thing that matters is how you deal with it, you find a proper way and if it is not possible you stay away from the person.  even a person for whom we have no feelings what so ever, we should not be sitting alone with due to hadith of Sayyidina Muhammad (saw) which mention shaytan being the third of two na-mehram adults being alone. Astaghfirullah and Audhubillah from us being anything to do with party of shaytan.

brother suleyman you need to decide for yourself what sort of wife u want, it is you who is going to spend rest of ur life with her, although ur parents will be around but its ur life, u have to respect ur parents but at end of day she is going to be ur better half. decide then let ur parents know of the fact that even though she might be different from their normality thats what u looking for,

but thats whats liked that a girl's parents or gaurdians should be approached but approaching a girl is not wrong either, u only need to tell her in an honourable manner but no unnecessary chit chat or visits allowed. i don't know why us people start using laws of Allah swt for our own benefits in wrong way, parents have authority and they should be respected but at the same time its their duty to wed their kids to suitable person and not make issue of matter which should not matter.

wassalam



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Say: (O Muhammad) If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, MercifuL


Posted By: Tazmanian Devil
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 6:12am

yo...salamz peeps>>>

Luvin da opposite sex aint haraam..dats jst natural..and its a feelin ALLAH created uz wid...but if ur gonna go nd act on thse feelins outside marriage...den dats HARAAM, and no u cnt B alone wid da opposite sex..coz ur givin shaitan a chance of makin u sinnin...ur not suppose 2 interact wid da opposite sex un-necessarily..dat includes..lookin,chattin and flirtin....dere all types of zina...and c'mon ppl a couple of months (or days mayB) havin fun wid da opposite sex iz NO WAY worth a second in HELL....so think...and FEAR!!!!!

PEACE OUT BLADZ>>>>



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mUsLiM bLoOd iZ mA kInD
mUsLIm pRiDe iZ mA mInD
sO sTeP aSiDe N lEt uZ tHrU
cOz iTz aLl aB8 dA mUsLim cReW!!!!


Posted By: PakNOne
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 5:53pm
Ok so if you really like this person, and wnat to get married you both
want to get married you can aks your parents to talk to him am i right?

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Pakistan No One


Posted By: PakNOne
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 5:57pm
if you really love this person and this person also does love you, who is
also muslim. but if your family says no and his family is saying yes...then
what do you suppost to do. ask Allah for help!

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Pakistan No One


Posted By: zulfan elhannan
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 10:04am

assalamualaikum warahmatullah

ALHUBB MIN FITRATILINSAAN...

it is not forbidden to love a person with opposite gender as long as you know ur limits and also your intention in loving the person. For me, the best thing to do when we fall in love is to just keep it as your secret unless you are ready for a marriage. ALLAH AS-SAMII'UN 'ALIIM....so just tell HIM.

Pray, ask for Allah's guide, whether he/she is the right one for you. Try to stay as far as possible from that person to prevent your love towards him/her from conquering your heart before the right time(nikah). Whatever it is, don't be demoralized when you find that he/she is not suitable to you. Allah knows everything and He knows whats and whos the best for you.

Do not fall, rise in love...

 



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Inna Allaha la tukhliful mii'aad...


Posted By: lovesakeenah
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 11:34pm

As-salaam alaykum warahamatullah wabarakatuh

Uuh!Interesting.Well said.May Allah guide our hearts aright!



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"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".


Posted By: zulfan elhannan
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 9:47am

salam 'alaykum

do visit the website below

http://www.ayatayatcintathemovie.com - www.ayatayatcintathemovie.com

it is the official website of an islamic indonesian movie which portrays the beautiful of islam. A creditable love story. My favourite movie! 

 



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Inna Allaha la tukhliful mii'aad...


Posted By: layalee
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 8:12am

I had visit the link and looked at the preview to the movie. It's looks like a good movie! My sound to my computer is not working right now though, is the movie in English, or do they have one with English subtitles?



Posted By: zulfan elhannan
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:39am

owh...i'm sorry, the characters are mainly use their language(indonesian). I myself couldn't really get it. but there are some dialogues in arabic and english. I watched it in youtube but the video has been removed. actually, the movie is only available at cinemas in indonesia. about the english subtitles, i'm so sorry again, i'm not sure 

ayat-ayat cinta(verses of love) is actually a title of a best-seller(novel)...i heard that the novel had been translated into 5 different languages, sold in few countries including malaysia. i'm not sure whether there is an english version.

aasif jiddan.



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Inna Allaha la tukhliful mii'aad...


Posted By: layalee
Date Posted: 03 April 2008 at 10:37am
thanks sister for the info 


Posted By: ally
Date Posted: 05 April 2008 at 4:54am

i agree with zulfan 100%!!

i was reading the other posts form pages 1 and 2 and alot of what the other people were saying made no sense! we were created with emotions... how can you not fall in love with a member of the opposite sex when ur religious duty is to marry, care for and have a family with them... u cannot do that if u dont love somebody and i know that someone will write that love comes after marriage but it certainly doesnt

 

how can u consumate a marriage if u dont love the person ur married to??

 



Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 05 April 2008 at 5:16am

Marriage and love are both separate things.But they can work comfortably together. And that depends on so much. The ideal situation is to find someone worthy of you, and you of him.Not as easy as it might seem. Also,love comes upon us quietly, sometimes in a instant, yet love can also deceive, and does not ask our permission first. Once in the heart,it is not easily erased.

Let us also understand something else. Marrying someone from our own religion does not guarantee happiness. It has to be worked at, and each day is a process of learning and understanding. Love in an arranged marriage can come, and often does, with both partner feeling comfortable and secure. for greater success,I would think it advisable that both people know about eachothers family's.

Maturity in both cases I would say is a big bonus. Good hunting



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some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set


Posted By: lovesakeenah
Date Posted: 05 April 2008 at 9:25am

As-salaam alaykum sis Martha.

It's been a while.I know you probably participate in other threads.I just wanted to say I missed having you around.

Take care sis!!!!!



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"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".



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