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Online Nikkah

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: General
Forum Name: General Discussion
Forum Discription: General Discussion
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2650
Printed Date: 28 July 2014 at 11:43pm


Topic: Online Nikkah
Posted By: rudy
Subject: Online Nikkah
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 8:22am

I'm getting married *screams* : aa
Rudy: wa
I'm getting married *screams* : what's going on?
Rudy: nothing much.
I'm getting married *screams* : did u get any word on the banquet hall?
Rudy: ugh
Rudy: i tried everywhere ayesha and every place was so expensive
I'm getting married *screams* : OMG!!!
I'm getting married *screams* : Rudy!!
Rudy:
I'm getting married *screams* : do you know much it sucks to wait! we've been waiting to get this nikkah done for months!
Rudy: sorry
I'm getting married *screams* : omg this is retarted
Rudy: *retarded
I'm getting married *screams* : shut upp
Rudy: are you mad at me?
I'm getting married *screams* : maybe
Rudy: Well I have an idea (i)
I'm getting married *screams* : oh this will be good
Rudy: we can have an online nikkah
I'm getting married *screams* : a what?!
Rudy: yeah! it should be easy to do. i think everyone we need is online right now. let's get it done!
I'm getting married *screams* : oh wow
Rudy: come on, i'm sinning right now just typing to you. let's nikkah this thing asap!
I'm getting married *screams* : arright arright lemme call my abbu and tell him the story... that u r being stingy and don't want to book a banquet hall and just want to do it online lolzz
Rudy: lol
I'm getting married *screams* : brb
Rudy: k

I'm getting married *screams* : omg my dad agrees haha
Rudy: hahah i knew it. we're sooo stereotypical memons eh
I'm getting married *screams* : yeah lolz
I'm getting married *screams* : ok now what
Rudy: well i jsut explained to imam saab our ordeal. he has agreed to perform the nikkah
Rudy: *just
I'm getting married *screams* : phew

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" has been added to the conversation.

Rudy: Salam Imam.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : wut da
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : hu added me?!1
Rudy: Imam it was me. i talked to you about it in the other window remember?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : oh yeah
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : do u no da hole ish?
Rudy: sorry?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : fiqh man
I'm getting married *screams* : imam i dont think u should substtute that as a curse word
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : wha?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : LOL
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : no no i meant the fiqh of a nikkah.
Rudy: oh
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : hah yeah my bad.
Rudy: hmmm i know the basics.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : no worries ill talk u threw it k?
Rudy: k
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : first thing iz we need yo hunny bunny 2 leave da chat window
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : then we be needin her pops yknow wha im sayin?
Rudy: so she has to leave and bring her dad in?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : str8 up
Rudy: ok you got that ayesha? stay online but leave the window. and tell your dad to get online. i think he's on my list for some reason.
I'm getting married *screams* : lolz my dad? he doesnt use msn 2 much. arright ill let him know.

I'm getting married *screams* has left the conversation.

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : so where'd u 2 meet?
Rudy: oh u know. she liked to view my naseeb journal and i liked her profile. a few salams and some private messages later it turned into a full blown fest on MSN
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : aww man astagfirullah
Rudy: I know. thats why we're doing this nikkah.
Rudy: nice her dad is on

dr. Morocco (phd) has been added to the conversation.

Rudy: salams uncle
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" :
dr. Morocco (phd): haalo?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : duz da pops no da dillio?
dr. Morocco (phd): ajeeb
Rudy: hahah uncle i invited you in... you have to be part of the nikah.
Rudy: basically you are speaking on behalf of Ayesha
Rudy: you there uncle?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : damn dis nigga types slow. itz been saying "dr. Morocco (phd) is typing a message" for ages.
dr. Morocco (phd): Yes I Am Here.
dr. Morocco (phd): Please Hurry.
dr. Morocco (phd): Chai Is Almost Ready.
Rudy: lol
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : LOL wut a playa
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : anyhoo letz git dis sho on da road
Rudy: okay.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : arright first ting ... u 2 mofos agreed to get hitch'd yeh? none of dis wuz forced?
Rudy: yeah... it was all us.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : aight ... u have seen her b4 yeh? its good to no what she lookz like
Rudy: yeah she sent me a pic of her
dr. Morocco (phd): Ahh??
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : UH OH ... busted! lol
Rudy: no no she had hijab on its all good.
dr. Morocco (phd):
Rudy: heh.
Rudy: yeah.
Rudy: hey imam you there?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : a/s/l?
Rudy: WHAT?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : oh sorry man rong window lol
Rudy: imam! hahah. i thought you were married!
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : I am. slots #2, #3, #4 still open
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : heh just remember u 2 dawgs arent like hitched yet aight. dont get hanky panky yet till we r done aight?
Rudy: k
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : aight aight. we need 2 witnesses. 1 dawg & 2 dawgettes or 2 dawgs. either way man.
Rudy: I got two guys that aren't doing anything. They've already changed their screen name so they're all set.

Witness #1 has been added to the conversation.
witness #2 has been added to the conversation.

Rudy: sup gentlemen
witness #2: awwww man i didn't know his name would be capitalized.
Witness #1: Waita go idiot.
witness #2: stfu
Rudy: Guys! we have an imam present! and an uncle!
Witness #1: oh sorry.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : no worries dawg. inshallah that wont happen again ya hear?
Witness #1:
dr. Morocco (phd): Be Right Back. I'm getting my chai.
witness #2: WTF? the uncle is getting tea now!?
Rudy: well we can't really do anything until he gets back.
witness #2: dude omg omg. i got an exam tomorrow. WHO THE HELL DOES A NIKKAH ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT?
Rudy: listen man you two were the only people on my list that were online so i asked you two to be the witnesses okay?
Witness #1: pipe down witness #2.
witness #2: i swear if i fail orgo tomorrow then your marriage will officially suck.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : yo dawg chill
dr. Morocco (phd): I am back. Let's begin.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : aight aight. we gotz da wallee in the hizouse.
witness #2: what is that
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : a walee is like the wife's dawg y'know? a guardian.
witness #2: oh
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : next up is two witnesses.
Witness #1: yeah i'm here.
witness #2: same
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : i take it u both are dawgs
Witness #1: as opposed to?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : dawgettes.
Witness #1: ummm yeah i'm male.
witness #2: ^ you sure fooled me.
Rudy: lol
witness #2: lol
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : LOL OWNED
Witness #1:
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : aight aight. yo dr.k u dere?
dr. Morocco (phd): Yes I Am Here.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : dawg u type funnie man.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : Rudylizo u gave yo hunny bunny the dowry right
Rudy: ummm i gave her some
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : good enuf. wut was da amount
Rudy: i basically just pasted 786 times in her window.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : lol dude that 786 ting is wacked
Witness #1: yeah but it's easy to hack into any moroccan's e-mail account. there's always a 786 in there somewhere.
witness #2: hey! it was you!
Rudy: shut up guys i'm trying to get married
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : ok dr.k.
dr. Morocco (phd): Yes?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : i need u to repeat this: "I, the brider's father and guardian, grant permission for ______ to marry my daughter ______ for the sake of Allah (SWT) for 786 in front of these two dawgs."
dr. Morocco (phd): I Have To Write This Whole Thing Out?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : naw dawg. just copy paste it.
dr. Morocco (phd): "I, the brider's father and guardian, grant permission for ______ to marry my daughter ______ for the sake of Allah (SWT) for 786 in front of these two dawgs."
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : naw dawg naw
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : u gotta fill in da blanks with bride and grooms name k

dr. Morocco (phd):
OK
dr. Morocco (phd): "I, the brider's father and guardian, grant permission for Ayesha Morocco to marry my daughter Rudy for the sake of Allah (SWT) for 786 in front of these two dawgs."
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : close. u just got it backwards lol.
dr. Morocco (phd): lol
dr. Morocco (phd): "I, the brider's father and guardian, grant permission for Rudy to marry my daughter Ayesha Morocco for the sake of Allah (SWT) for 786 in front of these two kutai."
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : bam. str8 up gold
Rudy: now what?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : well itz da sunnah to da a khutbah but i cant do 1 right now
witness #2: good I gotta study
Witness #1: Shut up witness #2.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : so we just cut to me askin yo suga muffin if she accepts aight
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : k Rudy. get outta here so we can invite her.
Rudy: arright.

Rudy has left the conversation.
I'm getting married *screams* has been added to the conversation.

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : yo sup ayesha
I'm getting married *screams* : sup
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : k we need yo permission to be da wife of the Rudylizo.
I'm getting married *screams* : lol
witness #2: what does that mean????
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : good enuf
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : now ged outta here so we can finis dis shiz

I'm getting married *screams* has left the conversation.
Rudy has been added to the conversation.

Rudy: what happened?
witness #2: she said no.
Rudy: !!
witness #2: jokes
Witness #1: lol
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : LOL
dr. Morocco (phd): hahaha
Rudy: ugh
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : k now 4 da grand finale

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" has left the conversation.

Rudy: what the hell!?
witness #2: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Witness #1: best wedding ever.

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" has been added to the conversation.

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : sorry dawgs. got d/c
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : Rudylizo, do u accept Ayesha Morocco as u r wife for 786 blings?
Rudy: I accept.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : more.
Rudy: errr... I accept Ayesha as my wife.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : bam. str8 up gold.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : did da uncle n witnesses c it?
dr. Morocco (phd): Yes I did.
Witness #1:
witness #2:
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : k u n ayesha r officially married.
Rudy: yes!

I'm getting married *screams* has been added to the conversation.

Rudy: hey Ayesha. change your screen-name! we did it!
I GOT married *screams* : lol
witness #2: finally. congrats. i'm out. ws

witness #2 has left the conversation.

Witness #1: congrats.
Witness #1: may Allah (SWT) bless your marriage.

Witness #1 has left the conversation.

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : waita go playa.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : now to show da otha window sum love ws
Rudy: Jazakallah Imam.
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : np

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" has left the conversation.

Rudy: alone! finally!
I GOT married *screams* : not quite.
dr. Morocco (phd): Ayesha:
I GOT married *screams* : yes abbu?
dr. Morocco (phd): Congratulations. I love you. Once you are done with this chat please come downstairs to clean the kitchen. Khudahafiz.

dr. Morocco (phd) has left the conversation.

I GOT married *screams* : lol he could have just shouted. i'm only a floor above him.
Rudy: so now what?
I GOT married *screams* : oh ... you know



-------------
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa



Replies:
Posted By: Henna
Date Posted: 17 October 2005 at 9:57am
LOL




Posted By: sinful servant
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 1:22am

salaama!o please tell methat was all for show!rudy are you serious u actually got married or wast that justa huge big joke?



Posted By: Dayem
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 1:43am

Show probably.Man, If that was show, u can start writing bookssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

If that was real then best of luck!Happy marriage!



-------------
"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM


Posted By: rudy
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 6:32am
Its a joke friends, if it was real I would of had 100 online wives by now.

-------------
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa


Posted By: Dayem
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 10:08am

Did u made it all up or copy-pasted from somewhere(and putting rudy in between)?

If u made it, then plz start writing comics strip.U will make big bucks.

Regards, Dayem.

PS>I had business studies exam today.



-------------
"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM


Posted By: Andrea
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 1:17pm

this is the funniest thing I've read in a looooooooooooong time!!  Wow, thanks Rudy for sharing this.

I LOVE IT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

still laughing LOL

 

 

 

 

 

Trying to figure out my favorit part... but there aint none... it's all good!! str8 up, dawg!!



Posted By: Henna
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 2:09pm
Originally posted by Dayem

Did u made it all up or copy-pasted from somewhere(and putting rudy in between)?

If u made it, then plz start writing comics strip.U will make big bucks.



i am agree with dayem


Posted By: rudy
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 2:41pm
thAnKs n ENjoY my bns


-------------
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa


Posted By: Andrea
Date Posted: 25 October 2005 at 3:05pm

changed my mind... this is my favorite part:

The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : a/s/l?
Rudy: WHAT?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : oh sorry man rong window lol

 




Posted By: rudy
Date Posted: 30 October 2005 at 1:20am
but but favorite part is:

Rudy: basically you are speaking on behalf of Ayesha
Rudy: you there uncle?
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : damn dis nigga types slow. itz been saying "dr. Morocco (phd) is typing a message" for ages.
dr. Morocco (phd): Yes I Am Here.
dr. Morocco (phd): Please Hurry.
dr. Morocco (phd): Chai Is Almost Ready.
Rudy: lol
The Imam - "Baby Cause I'ma Thug" : LOL wut a playa


-------------
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Teresa



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