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domestic violence

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups Women (Sisters)
Forum Discription: Groups Women (Sisters)
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=25294
Printed Date: 23 October 2014 at 4:50am


Topic: domestic violence
Posted By: karimah33
Subject: domestic violence
Date Posted: 30 April 2013 at 8:17pm
Salam alykum, I am new to this forum. I also converted to islam 3 years ago. Two years ago I met my husband. He is from Kuwait and I am American. My question is this.
Will he forgive me for having him put in jail for beating me while pregnant with our first child. My brother did not give me a choice and made me call before I went to our apartment to get my things. My husband fought with me because he felt I spoke to loud while guests were in our home and we were behind closed doors in my bedroom having a quick private conversation. Our guests were males and I stayed in the room. So they did not see me. He yelled at me and I asked him to calm down and it escalated from there. The guests left at some point as we heard the door open and close. They did not know he began to hit me. Until the police came to the apartment to arrest him. I have no idea what is going on with him. I have been at my parents home. I know physical violence against a woman should not be acceptable but I feel maybe I provoked him and then my brother opted to call the police because he wanted to kill this man for hitting me. I am very hurt and confused. The baby is due in three months and I do not know what will happen.



Replies:
Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 02 May 2013 at 6:00pm
I can't see whose fault and why but it is bad sign at such early marriage.

Salaam and all the best.


Posted By: karimah33
Date Posted: 02 May 2013 at 11:03pm
Salaam, as I know hitting a woman while pregnant is very wrong. My husband is battling substance abuse and alcoholism. I think this might have caused him to become angry. He was not able to get alcohol or drugs for a couple of days. He has never been violent like this. This why I am not sure if I said something wrong or he just reacted to an innocent remark. He asked me strangly if I would kill for love and I said no, I would only kill for my family and for my religion. THis for whatever reason sparked his anger.
 I am afraid that because my brother sent him to jail he will not forgive me because I could not hide the mark on my face from my brother.


Posted By: karimah33
Date Posted: 05 May 2013 at 9:02pm
Yes I agree this is a culture clash. I just cannot understand why this would happen and now three months before our baby is due. I know that this is not my fault, but I do not want to lose my husband. Putting him in the jail might have just caused me to lose him. Right now I was informed he will be leaving for kuwait and he will not be allowed back into the country because he could have killed the baby when he hit me and something to do with his school. If he leaves I will more than likely never see him again and he will ask for divorce. I am so confused and deeply depressed. I know Allah will help me through this but right now I feel completely hopeless.


Posted By: Caringheart
Date Posted: 08 May 2013 at 10:38am
Originally posted by karimah33

Yes I agree this is a culture clash. I just cannot understand why this would happen and now three months before our baby is due. I know that this is not my fault, but I do not want to lose my husband. Putting him in the jail might have just caused me to lose him. Right now I was informed he will be leaving for kuwait and he will not be allowed back into the country because he could have killed the baby when he hit me and something to do with his school. If he leaves I will more than likely never see him again and he will ask for divorce. I am so confused and deeply depressed. I know Allah will help me through this but right now I feel completely hopeless.

Greetings karimah,
I am so sorry.  I know, no one chooses to raise a child alone.  I had to raise my 3 children alone after my husband left but God's grace and goodness got me through as I turned my life to Him.  I hope you find the support that you need in your community.  It does sound, thankfully, as though your family is there for you, yes?  You would not want to live your life being beaten, or to raise a child in that environment.  Perhaps God will send a partner who will treat you well and be a good example for your child.  No matter what you must lean on God as your provider and your strength.
Salaam and may God's blessings be with you,
Caringheart

I so wish my other posts had not disappeared.  I know that I was moved to share my heart with you the other night. Heart


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Let us seek Truth together
Blessed be God forever


Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 08 May 2013 at 10:34pm
Originally posted by karimah33

Salaam, as I know hitting a woman while pregnant is very wrong. My husband is battling substance abuse and alcoholism. I think this might have caused him to become angry. He was not able to get alcohol or drugs for a couple of days. He has never been violent like this.

I just cannot understand why this would happen and now three months before our baby is due. I know that this is not my fault, but I do not want to lose my husband.

I am sorry to hear your situation, you are on very difficult situation sister, a catch 22, I can see your problem. Hopefully he will become an independent person first before taking up the duty of a husband and a father.

I hope only good thing for you and the baby.

Salaam.



Posted By: karimah33
Date Posted: 15 May 2013 at 7:08pm

Thank you and Insha'Allah everything will work out as it should. I have spoken to him in the last couple of days. He is showing some remorse for his actions and it seems that he wants to change his life. We are taking things very slow and Insha'Allah by the time the baby is due. We will be able to come together as a family.



Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 16 May 2013 at 12:12am
That is very refreshing news, alhamdulillah, the baby deserves that.

All the best.


Posted By: Caringheart
Date Posted: 17 May 2013 at 5:13pm
Originally posted by karimah33

Thank you and Insha'Allah everything will work out as it should. I have spoken to him in the last couple of days. He is showing some remorse for his actions and it seems that he wants to change his life. We are taking things very slow and Insha'Allah by the time the baby is due. We will be able to come together as a family.


My best wishes, and prayers, for you. Heart


-------------
Let us seek Truth together
Blessed be God forever



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