I tried to photograph the fog. I mist

When Chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O


We are going on a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there are no pop quizzes.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery

I didn't like my beard at first, . . and then it grew on me.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.