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Problem in marriage Life

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Discription: Discuss Family Issues
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24830
Printed Date: 31 October 2014 at 7:35pm


Topic: Problem in marriage Life
Posted By: irfhan867
Subject: Problem in marriage Life
Date Posted: 08 February 2013 at 11:33am
Asslam Walikum,

I am 27,muslim and well settled in riyadh, saudi arabia.

I came to riyadh and joined in my job on last year, 01-01-2012

My parents and myself started searching a gal for me on jan 2012 itself.

I have seen so many profiles but i liked only one, she is from my hometown coimbatore india.

I made my parents to approch her family on jan 2012.. my family status is low when comparing to them.

My parents talk's was unliked by them so they rejected me and my family.


After some couple of days,i lost my interest in searching girls for me.

Because i liked that girls photos,intial interactions and profile,

i dont have a solid reason but yes i liked her.

So on feb 2012 i myself started approching her on gtalk,phone,facebook etc...


Within couple of days, I was fallen for her, and started loving her.

Then she also started liking me and she convienced her family.


Then we started chatting on skype daily, we got engaged on april 2012..


And we got married on june 2012,

We came to riyadh and started our happy life..

She loved me a lot and do so manythings for me.


But she alwys fights with me for my parents unnecesay talks...


I admit my parents talks are like uneducated and makes other to hurt easily...

example

1. When we say, we went to bharin as a tour, he saild like , its ok but henceforth dont go anywhere unnecessarly
2. Once day my father told to my wife on phone, i gone thro the news paper, its saying one mother in law said to cook that dish and give her son but
wife refused and went to her mother's house..

like this lot of things where happen...

She started fighting with me, but still i will convine h her.

Then i scold my father and mother to dont repeat this, i dont like these stuffs.
but my father says dont lie, we know about afshan she will understand us. you only purposly making us to seperate from your wife and her family.

In this case i dont wish to use my name... so i told then dont do this again..


Days gone, me and my wife visited our hometown on Oct 2012.

In our home my parents TALKS was not likeed by my wife so she became hyper, then her family and myself gone to doctor, doc given her depression medicane for 3 months.


when we came back to riyadh, i thought everything will be solved,

but she refused to take medicans, she will always fights and beats me...

she will be ok , but when she hears my parents name,talk, or even a mis call... she will become hyper and start fighting me.

Each fights ends with heavy beatings(from her). but i love her,after fight, within some time she will be ok and prepare dinner for me.

tHEIR relatives came to our place to vist us, they saw her actions and told like she shold meet doc and can we take her to india.

My my loving wife still said,no i cant leave you here and go alone, because of her parents i purposly made her to go.
Thought like she will be back in 3-4 weeks.


But after going there lot of other family problems happen and she went to doc , taking medicane...


But the point is---- SHE FORGET ME AND MY LOVE----

She is asking divorce and said never come back.

For me life is hard without my wife... i want her, what can i do now. please help.



Replies:
Posted By: 5purplemarbles
Date Posted: 24 February 2013 at 5:22pm
salaama alaykum brother, very sorry to hear from you this problems.  This is very hard and complicated issue for sure.  But i want say something first, im from america so things are very different with our culture here, so please forgive me if i say something wrong or frustrating to you.  First what i see here is you both have the love.  And this is very important.  this love was here before she was with your family daily.  This is see is the big problem.  when you be married you need to make strong contact with your wife now, and you were very right to talk with your parents, but what i think is this was very hard for her...leaving her home and family and then coming to your family which from what you said they be very hard on this poor girl.

This what i think ....you need to go to her and make this good between you and her family.  you need to make a home for you and your wife apart from your family who makes her crazy.  make a home and life with your wife and have a child.  but always remember when you be married this is the important thing.  you need to make connection with your wife and help each other. but being in same place as your family is bad idea. 

i think with much dua and ask Allah to forgive you there can be fix to this problem.  but you need to offer her a happy life with you even if this meaning to be away of your family more and give this space and peace to your wife for this dunya. 

its hard when first married, and in america no married man and wife live with their family, and also alot of times the family makes problems.  its takes some time to everyone getting to know each other. some people dont get along and may never.  so you need to give your wife the space from your family so you and her can build strong foundation of marriage.  then later even maybe years then she can be ok with your family.

you need to try brother.  go to her and offer her this life.  and tell her it takes time to be close to family of your husband, and offer her the love and peace of a home together and to always help each other in bad and good.

insha Allah this is help to you brother and i wish you all good lives

salaam alaykum


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Salaam Alaykum my dear sisters and brothers......May Allah swt Bless You always....



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