Heres a brief history on me. I was brought up as Christian, when i was younger i remember going to church with my Grandmother & my brother every Sunday.

Over the years the Sunday visits to church twindled away & eventually stopped going, im not really sure why that was either as we used to enjoy going.

I later got married got a good job & had 2 children of my own, but unfortunately the man i was married to got very abusive and i just had to get out. I eventually divorced him and moved out with my children.

I just focused on my children & my job, being a single mum working fulltime makes life busy therefore i forgot to spare little time tofocus on myself, i gained alot of weight & felt really asshamed for letting myself get to that stage... my Ex-husband continued to make my life a living hell even after the divorce, i cried myself to sleep alot of nights & prayed to god to helpme somehow as i was miserable & angry all the time then. I just wanted to live a happpy, healthy &  honest life.

i continued on with life as i had to for my childrens sake. Now i was starting to give up on faith & eventually stopped praying..

2yrs went by when my sister told me i had to get out & meet new people, start enjoying life again, so i did & i met a lovely man, we got chatting, he asked me out todinner  so i agreed,i thought why not.

Over dinner i learned he was Muslim, now i knewlittle about Muslims & Islam as i dont have any Muslim freinds. He was such a gentleman, gentle kind & funny.

We got to learn alot more about eachother over the past 6mths, he gets on well with my children & helps me everyway he can. He made me curious as to what Islam was all about as all i have heard about Islam wasnt good from the media etc. , he never pushed Islam on me, i think this is why im so curious. I asked him one day to get me some info on Islam & he was quite happy to. I am now half way through the Quran & had read alot & heard lectures on Islam i am really interested in learning more each day about this religion. The first time i questioned him about Islam he said 'Islam means peace'. fromthen i havent stopped researching everything posibble about Islam.

 Last week i asked for a sign from god if he wanted me to pursue learning about Islam.

Lastnight i had a dream, that i was wearing a scarf and i can clearly see  even now what i was wearing,i was surrounded by other sisters wearing the scarf we were all laughing & i remember feeling happy & at peace with myself. I felt i had no troubles in the world, i just felt so so happy.

so i guess i got my sign i have been asking for.

 

thanks for reading

 

Welcome to ICforum hope you enjoy your stay. Regarding your feeling about Islam and your dream, please keep asking God almighty to guide you and strengthen your believe in Him.

 

As'alaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

(Peace and Blessings of God be with you)

 

I am very similar to your situation except that when I used to go to church I never felt anything, I would just sit there feeling empty looking at the figure on the cross may be asking myself can God really come down from heaven as a man and die for us?

 

I, too, did some research after I had this feeling to look for God. At first I took the Christian way and joined a couple of Christian social networking sites and found that experience more confusing as nobody could give me the answers that I wanted. They just kepp repeating the same old lines "Jesus came down from heaven and died for our sins".

 

Also like you, I have heard about Islam and heard that it is also one of the Abrahamaic faiths and that they believed in One God. This time I joined an Islamic site and slowly found that their thinking was more in line with mine. I read the Holy Qur'an and initially I thought that it was copied from the Bible. Then I began to re-read a few times and I guess I was reading it with an open mind rathern than with pre-conceived ideas and the Holy Qur'an began to talk to me. Rather God Himself was talking to me, in my mind there was no way anyone could produce the Holy Qur'an except God. There was no way an Arab living in seventh century Arabia could prduce a book like this. What I've found fascinationg was the small details, which you will recognise as you read the Holy Qur'an.

 

I was also prejudiced against Muhammad (SalAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) because as a Christian you are told he is this and he is that. Once I began to find out for myself, I realised that truly he was the Prophet of God Almighty. He gave up everything he had and he made sure that his followers did not ever worship him like the Christians do to Jesus (Alayhi Salaam). Once you get to know him then you want to try to emulate him even though it is next to impossible. All Prophets of God had to have certain qualities that are lacking in ordinary men.

 

In between all of this, I was rushed by people to take the Shahada (the statement of faith) but I did not rush into it. I had the same fears that everybody else would have had. What would my friends and family say? People who are not in this situation would not understand how serous all this was. After delaying and making excuses I finally realised that I was condemning myself to eternal hell fire. I knew deep inside my heart the Truth yet was denying it. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala tells us that this is a great sin.

 

So finally I don't know if it was courage or the need for my salvation I took the Shahada on 29 October 2012 a day that I will never forget. It was probably the best day of my life. My life changed completely for the better. I felt happier than I have ever felt in my entire life. I knew the meaning and purpose of my life on Earth. When you are a Muslim (somebody who submits to the Will of God) then you will know special you really are. He chose you and gave you life Alhamdulailah (Thanks be to God). You got to be grateful surely.

 

Of course, this is where th realy test begins. Satan will sow doubts in your mind. But as you have stronger faith you can defeat him and his insecurites. Also it will be a weird time, praying five times a day when previously you've never prayed. Fasting properly when you have never fasted properly before.

However, the reward for doing all of these strange things in that you will have inner peace and you are ready to accept death whereas before you were in denial and thought that you will never die.

 

Nobody can force you to be a Muslim, it is a personal choice. All a person has to ask oneself is what is the price for eternal salvation?

 

Salaam

I read the Holy Quran every day and even though i have not yet finished i already cant wait to read it again.

Unfortunatley my family are not supportive of my choice in partners due to him being a muslim, but he has introduced me to this wonderful religion and he we often discuss about it and he is willing to answer any questions i have. He is impressed by my researching and encourages me to learn more.

I feel theres a purpose in life now and i look forward to waking up everyday.

I know in due time i would love to accept Islam & take Shahada but for some reason i feel something is holding me back & i cant pin point what exactly it is.Maybe its that I am a little nervous about not being able to pray properly & about not knowing everything theres is to kno yet about islam.

I would love to visit a local mosque or keep in regular contact with other sisters to gain more knowledge...

 

People tried to rush me into taking the Shahada when I wasn't ready and I rsisted until I WAS READY. However, what they say is true in hindsight. That is is you if die tomorrow without taking the Shahada then you will be judged as a non-believer and what a chance we are taking.

 

With regard to prayers there are videos on youtube that you can watch, they will guide you step by step in what one has to do, also there are videos teaching how to perform ablution or wudu.

 

I was very lucky Alhamdulilah as I am living in the UAE and there is a masjid every ten yards :) I was also lucky in the fact that there was an Islamic centre that helped new Muslims and they gave me lots of literature about Islam including how to pray, perform wudu etc.

 

As you have said probably the best thing to do is get to know some sisters from the local masjid Insha'Allah and they will help. Muslims bent over backwards to help new Muslims because if they help somebody to convert then they will get a blessing too. :) Alhamdulilah.

 

In my opinion you have nothing to fear except yourself. That final hurdle of becoming a Muslim is yourself. However some bravery is required as you will need to ignore what people say or think.

 

Good luck and Insha'Allah you will be a Muslim sister soon. Sometimes the calling is too strong to ignore.