|Originally posted by aminahV17
Salaam Alaikum, I need some advice. I'm married now for 3 years and my husband wants to take on another wife. I'm a muslim now since 2008 and I have accepted Islam with all my heart and soul.
My husband said that I knew before we got married that he wanted to take another wife, and he also was made aware of my feelings about that as well. I know this is what Allah has allowed the man, but I'm feeling some kind of way about it.
I told my husband, that I have no right to opposed what Allah had granted the man, however, it's not in my heart and I will step aside and let him marry the other woman, I'll just ask for a divorce. Please advise as I love my husband, I just can't stand the thought of sharing him with another woman. Not to mentioned that I'm the one who is employed in this marriage, not my husband.
I thought the man wasn't allowed to marry unless he can provide all parties the same/equal living and at present, I'm the one supporting us. I'm confused, is my husband being selfish or am I? Please, I need some adivce.
First of all I suggest you consult your Imam or somebody who is well versed in Shari'a Law.
As far as my understanding on the matter, you are right to say that the husband should be in a position to provide for his wives. As he is currently unemployed and not bringing in an income then he is in no position to marry a second wife.
You did not say if if you've agreed to his proposal of a second wife before you got married.
From a strictly human point of view, we are all jealous creatures and not all of us can cope with being a second, third or fourth wife to a man. These require exceptional qualities and a woman must be very unselfish to accept co-wives.
I'd say that what you are feeling is quiet 'normal' and I am guessing that you are born and broght up in the West (not that this has any bearing on the situation).
Finally, I would say that as you love him so much then try to talk to him and ask him why he needs a second wife. I wonder if it's just for his selfish reasons. Perhaps you can pray the Istikhara prayer?
May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala give you guidance. Ameen.