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newly married sexual problems

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups – Women (Sisters)
Forum Discription: Groups – Women (Sisters)
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23312
Printed Date: 25 October 2014 at 5:41pm


Topic: newly married sexual problems
Posted By: AllforAllah
Subject: newly married sexual problems
Date Posted: 09 June 2012 at 10:27pm
Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.



Replies:
Posted By: HalaHala2012
Date Posted: 10 June 2012 at 5:40pm
Pray and be patient is the advice I've always gotten. 


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 11 June 2012 at 9:29pm
Talk to him about it... read up about these issues on the internet and tips on how to get him interested.




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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: seeja
Date Posted: 14 June 2012 at 12:18am

I do agree with "Chrysalis" opinion… open talk to be followed in order to resolve these type of sensitive issues.



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Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 22 June 2012 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by AllforAllah

Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.


Hi dear,

Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.

Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help.

For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.

Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.

Good luck Wink
Patricia


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 27 June 2012 at 10:27pm

Men have way too much more testosterone than women ... and islamically it is his duty to keep you gratified.

If he does not take care of you, you still have a duty to care for yourself - what is meant here is that look for all means to solve this problem because marriage are made so people are not tempted to commit zina. Men and women are garments of each other - as its said in Quran regarding couples. They are obliged in marriage to satisfy this need because a muslim is not allowed to even look at another human being with such desires. Look after yourself sister - whatever it takes!
 
 


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Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.


Posted By: HalaHala2012
Date Posted: 06 August 2012 at 6:05am
Originally posted by HalaHala2012

Pray and be patient is the advice I've always gotten. 
Oh,and by the way,it's crappy advise really..because I've been patient and prayed about it for years..and he hasn't changed one bit. He won't even discuss it.But,he provides well for us,and I take that as the trade off for a happy intimate life with him.I love him..so,there really isn't much I can do to change him.,or his attitudes towards pleasing me in that way. Sorry couldn't be of more help. This discussion board isn't really the best place..it's so....inactive. Thumbs%20Down


Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 07 August 2012 at 8:00pm
Originally posted by HalaHala2012


Originally posted by HalaHala2012

Pray and be patient is the advice I've always gotten. 

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif">Oh,and by the way,it's crappy advise really..because I've been patient and prayed about it for years..and he hasn't changed one bit. He won't even discuss it.But,he provides well for us,and I take that as the trade off for a happy intimate life with him.I love him..so,there really isn't much I can do to change him.,or his attitudes towards pleasing me in that way. Sorry couldn't be of more help. This discussion board isn't really the best place..it's so....inactive. [IMG]smileys/smiley21.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Thumbs%20Down" />
praying without taking any actions to change the situation?

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And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)


Posted By: hakeema
Date Posted: 08 August 2012 at 3:17pm
As-Salaam Alaikum,

@AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions.


Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:43pm
Originally posted by hakeema

As-Salaam Alaikum,

@AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions.


Like?

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And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)


Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:45pm
Originally posted by Pati


Originally posted by AllforAllah

Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.
Hi dear,Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help. For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.Good luck [IMG]smileys/smiley2.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Wink" />Patricia




I agree with Pati..

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And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)


Posted By: seeja
Date Posted: 19 September 2012 at 4:06am
Originally posted by Full of Hopes

Originally posted by Pati


Originally posted by AllforAllah

Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.
Hi dear,Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help. For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.Good luck [IMG]smileys/smiley2.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Wink" />Patricia




I agree with Pati..

As always “Pati” comments shows the wisdom that can help to overcome these type of situation...I agree with those comments.



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Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times



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