Assalamu alaikum warah matullahi wabarkaatuh.
I am not a sister, but I want to say about this.
This differece because how scholars interpreted the word of "touch/contact" in surah http://www.islamicity.com/MOSQUE/ARABICSCRIPT/AYAT/4/4_43.htm - 4:43 . Imam Hanafi interpreted it as sexual intercourse, Imam Shafii, interpreted as "touch" as it's literal meaning.
In my opinion both Imam Hanafi and and Imam Shafii tried to do best following what the Qur'an and sunnah's teaching the way they understood. Because the nature of human both Imams could not agree on this issue. So us as their follower can not force anybody to understand the way we understood/follow.
This issue has been around over 1000 years, so if there is a solution (Allah will), this had been solved a long time ago. This is very small part of Islam, in my opinion both of them will be accepted by Allah swt. Because Allah the most wise the most merciful, I believe Allah not judge based on "black and white" only, He will consider everything related to it, and He has capability and capacity to include all parameters in his judgment. Moreover Allah reward us based on the effort, not the result.
In your case, to me, a peaceful family should be number one priority, I would suggest don't touch him after he makes wudhu. It's doesn't mean that I ask you to agree on his opinion in this mater, but nothing to loose to do this, because doing this you don't break any Islamic teaching anyway. Insha Allah you will get reward for this act because you make somebody (in this case your husband ) happy, and improve the family relationship, Allah command us to do this.
Finally, "Have a Happy Marriage".
Below I copied from answer.com
Bismillah hir Rahman Nir-Raheem
Wudu is the the Muslim ritual of washing.
There are a multitude of opinion on this issue within the different schools of Islam.
The following is an authentic hadith narrated by `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) she states: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to pray for long hours at night in their apartment, and that she used to sleep in front of him. Because the room was small, when the Prophet used to make sajdah (prostration) he would tap her calf with his hand and she would retract her legs so he could make sajdah. And when he stood up she would allow her feet to return to their original position." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Another hadith narrated by `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) as recorded in the Musnad of Imam Ahmad states that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to kiss `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and then go to pray at the masjid without renewing his ablution.
So according to these it is seen that just touching does not break wudu of the husband or wife.
The different opinions on this occur in the interpretation of the verse: "Or ye have touched women, and ye find not water, then go to high clean soil and rub your faces and your hands (therewith). Lo! Allah is Benign, Forgiving." (An-Nisa': 43)
For example Imam As-Shafi`interprets the word "touch" as it litteral meaning. Imam Hanafi's interpretation implies that even if the touch is lustful it does not break wudu. But other schools maintain that if the touch is lustful then wudu is broken else not.
The analogical interpretation of the word "touch" by Imams other than Imam Shafi is sexual or intercourse.
Wudu is broken by,
1.Defecation, passing gas or urination
2.Emission of semen
3.Sleep while reclining
5.Loss of senses
7.Laughing aloud whilst in Salah
8.Sexual contact with another person (ghusl is required)
9.Getting Najis (filth) on once body
10.Touching private parts (some schools)
Allah (subhana wa-tala) knows best.
Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_Muslim_husband_break_a_Muslim_wifes_wudu_just_by_touching#ixzz1wEXg1Blm - http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_Muslim_husband_break_a_Muslim_wife's_wudu_just_by_touching#ixzz1wEXg1Blm
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"