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HELP! what 2 do ??

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Discription: Discuss Family Issues
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23138
Printed Date: 30 October 2014 at 6:49am


Topic: HELP! what 2 do ??
Posted By: harun1209
Subject: HELP! what 2 do ??
Date Posted: 03 May 2012 at 3:09am
I am in my first marriage and in the 5th year of it. Things have gone dead and all dried up, all we do is make life miserable for us and her children who is 13, and 14. She has done just about everything within he last 2 marriages and doesn't want to try them with me. I don't have kids and want some but she cant and interferes too much between me and her kids who I have a nice relationship with. Sometimes she tells me to go and look for a different wife and move on but all my $$ is invested in this relationship and cant afford to restart. ARE THERE SISTERS WHO WOULD ACCEPT ME WHEN I NOW LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. I think that the way that we were brought up from 2 different ways have clashed rather than add taste.



Replies:
Posted By: Full of Hopes
Date Posted: 17 July 2012 at 10:48pm
I wish I could help but somehow I can't understand your problem clearly. Maybe if you explain more someone might give an advice.

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And whoever seeks a religion other than Islām, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)


Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 18 July 2012 at 12:02am
Assalaamoalaikum Harun. 
Originally posted by Full of Hopes

I wish I could help but somehow I can't understand your problem clearly. Maybe if you explain more someone might give an advice.
 
I agree.
 
I hope that you will continue to work things out with your wife. 
 
Are you asking, if you get a divorce, then would there be another muslim sister who will be willing to marry you after having the knowledge that you are living  from pay check to pay check?
 
Hmmm. if this is your question, then yes, there are plenty of sisters who will marry a GOOD MUSLIM brother who is struggling financially. 
 
I hope that you have now found more peace in your marriage. 


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 18 July 2012 at 8:41am
....and pay check to pay check is indeed relative to your profession.  Keep in mind that most Muslim women are attracted to.....


Posted By: W.S.
Date Posted: 19 July 2012 at 11:59am
Originally posted by abuayisha

Keep in mind that most Muslim women are attracted to.....
 
Would you be so kind as to spell that out for me?


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 19 July 2012 at 2:11pm
LOL


Posted By: W.S.
Date Posted: 20 July 2012 at 12:26am
I was actually being serious. You're saying it's a guy with a high salary they want?


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 20 July 2012 at 7:41am
Well in some Muslim cultures the cost of the wedding alone makes marriage somewhat prohibitive.  Other places if he has a paycheck-to-paycheck salary, but is making a living wage relative to her expectations then there shouldn't be a problem.  I left what Muslim women are attracted to blank because it undoubtedly differs greatly.


Posted By: W.S.
Date Posted: 20 July 2012 at 10:50am
Originally posted by abuayisha

Well in some Muslim cultures the cost of the wedding alone makes marriage somewhat prohibitive.
And that I find absurd. I read that the mahr in those cultures can be unreasonably high also, so that it's not uncommon to start saving up money as early as in your teens, and that some men work (abroad) for years just to save up more money, so that they can afford get married, basically.
 
Originally posted by abuayisha

Other places if he has a paycheck-to-paycheck salary, but is making a living wage relative to her expectations then there shouldn't be a problem.  I left what Muslim women are attracted to blank because it undoubtedly differs greatly.
 
And let's be thankful that it is so. I don't want to seem stingy, and of course one would want one's wedding to be nice and everything, but the cost if it all should be kept within the bounds of reality. At least in my case it'd have to.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 20 July 2012 at 2:34pm
Yeah, sadly, high mahr and wedding costs, are likely a reason for much fitnah in society.  Wallahu Mustaan.


Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 22 July 2012 at 3:30pm
Salam alaikum and ramadan mubaraq
hope u remeber me,the one whose wife asked divorce.
Like u now I also have a pretty daughter,I am abu juveria now.

Regards
Faisal


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 22 July 2012 at 8:45pm
wa alaikum salaam Faisal/Abu Juveria!  Allah bless your family with good in this life and the next.  Welcome back.



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