Asalamu Alaikum sisters,
InshAllah you can give me some input on a personal dilemma between my husband and I. I am an American woman who converted to Islam 4 years ago. My husband and I have been married for about 9 years and he is originally Saudi/Lebanese but lived most of his life in the US.
My husband and I have been going through a difficult time for a while now. He has been suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and the doctor suspects he could possibly be bipolar (manic-depressive). I have always been supportive of him, and his decisions, and his career (even giving up my own so that we could move to follow his career path), but have found many of the important decisions he has been making have been quite wrong. His treatment of me over the last couple of years (neglect is more like it), has affected our relationship greatly.
We have been for counseling, to both a psychologist and to the local Imam. Nothing is helping so far. My husband is stuck on this idea that the children we will have together inshAllah, must be raised in the middle east during the time they are in junior high through high school. We had discussed before we married that we would not live outside the US, and he agreed to that. Now he is changing everything and I dont know what to do. This past year we moved to Saudi Arabia and moved back because we were both unhappy there. I compromised and tried it in good faith, but it didnt work out for either of us. Our Imam said that Islam comes before culture and we can raise good kids here in the US and there are plenty of Islamic schools and classes for our children in our area. I told my husband I would be more than happy to spend the summers in the middle east so that our children would know their heritage. Today he filled out a petition for divorce and called me from the side of the road on his way to file it, and said he couldnt go through with it, but would like a period of separation.
He is thinking so irrationally and I am seeking some advice on how I can help him and save our marriage. There is so much more to tell, but I dont want to type a book here. I find I am losing my patience with him and the way that he is acting, and I have been praying for Allah's guidance in this situation. I dont know what else to do. I do not want to throw away a 9 year marriage because my husband is not well mentally, and that we are not able to come to a compromise on the children issue. May Allah bless you for your help.