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ADVICE PLEASE

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Discription: Discuss Family Issues
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22122
Printed Date: 31 October 2014 at 12:57pm


Topic: ADVICE PLEASE
Posted By: ILHAAM
Subject: ADVICE PLEASE
Date Posted: 13 November 2011 at 6:46am
as salaam
 
i am a muslim sister in desperate need of advice.. my husband and i are currently in a financial problem and things are very tough. we are staying with my parents, but my mother is very displeased with this. she is not happy and has told me that she doesnt want me here and i should go even if i must suffer its my problem. my father on the other hand wants to help us and doesnt have a problem that we stay with them until we can become stable.
i am confused because after 6 months of searching my husband and i found a decent place which we can live in but it costs R4000 and my husband earns only R7500/
we have a six month old baby and i am worried because we know it will be tough with all the household and general other expenses.
im looking for any advice that u can give.
should we stay on and make my dad happy or move out and make my mum happy.
plz help
 
a very very worried and stressed sister
 



Replies:
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 13 November 2011 at 4:56pm

What about help from your husband's family?  I'd leave and attempt to carefully budget the remaining R3500.  Has your mom mentioned why she is unhappy with having your family there?  What is your concept of becoming stable?  And how long do you anticipate it would take?  Mothers are often central to happiness in any home and when she's unhappy - everyone else suffers.  Make sure you leave on good terms if you do decide to leave.  Make Mum happy, and know that whenever you give up something for Allah's pleasure (making your mom happy) he will replace that which you've given up with something better (a stable home).  Also when faced with stress and worry, say; I am satisfied with Allah as my Lord and Islam as my religion and Prophet Muhammad as my prophet; and Allah will relieve your stress.  Make istikhara (prayer for guidance) and put your trust in Allah.  All the best for you and your family in this life and the next.



Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 17 November 2011 at 10:07pm
Originally posted by abuayisha

Mothers are often central to happiness in any home and when she's unhappy - everyone else suffers. Make sure you leave on good terms if you do decide to leave. Make Mum happy, and know that whenever you give up something for Allah's pleasure (making your mom happy) he will replace that which you've given up with something better (a stable home). Also when faced with stress and worry, say; I am satisfied with Allah as my Lord and Islam as my religion and Prophet Muhammad as my prophet; and Allah will relieve your stress. Make istikhara (prayer for guidance) and put your trust in Allah. All the best for you and your family in this life and the next.







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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: Wardah
Date Posted: 14 December 2011 at 10:40am
Salam sister

Brother Abuayeshah is right. And I would say it is always better for us to not depend upon others even parents, you can survive in 3500 inshaAllah, beside you can find work for your self, if you cant go out becuz of the baby than find something that you can do at home as a work and try to make some money. I know its not easy but it is better for you to stand on your own feet no matter how much you suffer. Mothers always love their children, if your Mom is not happy with your stay than may be there is something that you dont know but she knows.


Posted By: asheque
Date Posted: 10 March 2012 at 8:27pm
Try to keep moving with your husband.
And pray to Allah.Only he can help you.



Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 11 March 2012 at 12:24am
Salaams Sister,

It is difficult to know what to do. On one hand it is scary to "fear" the unknown. On the other hand your mother is right, you do need to "stand on your own feet." Sometimes we get too comfortable having someone support us when we are able-bodied.

Keep making prayers.


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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: asheque
Date Posted: 13 March 2012 at 8:30pm
When you believe one from your heart than you can remember that you may
get a good result from him.If you believe him than go ahead.


Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 19 March 2012 at 8:07pm
I wonder why your mother wants you to move out. Is it because of the financial burden on them or too much crowding in her home or anything else.
 
Perhaps you can sit and talk it out with your mother. If she feels a little relieved by your sharing some of the houshold expenses - then living as paying guests with your parents would be suitable.
 
On the other hand, if there are other issues involved then perhaps you may move out, and try to ask for financial help from your family and his, till you are a bit stable. Also there are a few work options from home, depending on your location. Even internet sometimes offers decent work opportunities - but again it will depend on where you are.
 
May Allah help you, and ease your troubles. Ameen


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Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.



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