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Goodbye Facebook

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups – Youth
Forum Discription: Groups – Youth
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18125
Printed Date: 28 July 2014 at 11:57pm


Topic: Goodbye Facebook
Posted By: seekshidayath
Subject: Goodbye Facebook
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 10:52pm
As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah

Following was published at a page {I got it covered} at facebook by sis Maryam

Analyzing what deters you from Allah is a lifelong and personal struggle.

My high school friends told me about Facebook. Since all of them had an account, I decided to create one myself although I was very nonchalant about my account. I had never displayed my pictures on social sites and told myself that I would not display my pictures on Facebook. But then everybody I knew had their pictures on. So, I started uploading pictures, and before I knew it, I had a million pictures of mine there.

What happened next was that brothers I knew started adding me. I was reluctant in the beginning, but a voice inside me told me to grow up and that it was no big deal. The first comment I got was from a brother I studied with – “Nice picture, Maryam.” What did he mean by that? I asked myself. Was he being chummy? Honestly speaking, I felt so bad when he wrote that comment on my wall, but then a voice inside my heart told me not to overreact and to show some manners so I thanked him.

I don’t know what happened next, but I started following the dunya. The values I stood up for and walked with became obsolete to me. My compromises turned into huge sacrifices. I became so desensitized and immune to the haram that was happening. I forgot that there was a God out there watching me, and I forgot that I was supposed to emulate the best of mankind- RasulAllah salla Allahu ‘alayhi wasallam. Random people would message me asking me for friend requests; they said I was “pretty” and they wanted to be friends with me. I even got some proposals on Facebook- can you believe it! And there were lists of stalkers who kept sending me st**id messages and songs on YouTube through fake accounts in my inbox.

Later, when I had pulled back a bit from Facebook, I stopped interacting with a lot of brothers there because a verse from the Quran kept spinning in my head:
I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me. [51:56]

When I woke up from my stupor, I realized that I had become some other Maryam I never wanted to be. I had so many friends, but I was never happy because none of them reminded me of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. None of them ever told me that displaying my pictures like that or chatting with random people was wrong and against the sunnah. Shaytan loves spreading promiscuity and hates modesty, and somehow I had chosen to follow him instead of following Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

Prophet Muhammed salla Allahu alayhi wasallam said:
Modesty is part of faith and faith is in paradise, but obscenity is part of hardness of heart and hardness of heart is in hell. (Ahmad, Tirmidhi)
I had faith, and I was a monotheist. But where was my hayaa, and where were my priorities? I had become a slave of my desires. Islam came to guide man, and here I was in the shackles of my own desires, other people, and the media. Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, has said:

“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilah (god)?” [45:23]

In light of this verse, Imam Al-Ghazali said:

“Those who follow their own passions do not conform to monotheism, because anyone who follows his own passions makes them the object of his worship. The monotheist is he who sees nothing but the One God and only turns his face to Him.”





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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."



Replies:
Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 12 January 2011 at 10:54pm

I removed all my pictures and changed the privacy settings of my account, but I still felt that my soul was filthy. My heart was hard. Even the Quran failed to penetrate my heart and didn’t make me cry anymore. I had everything I wanted, but something inside me was dying. It was my Iman. My Iman was suffocating.

I realized that the only way to purify my nafs was to leave things that distracted me. True, Facebook had its advantages, but for me, it was like alcohol; its detriment was greater than its benefit. So I decided to give it up for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. For months I struggled with my decision. It was hard saying goodbye to everyone, but I told them that I would be available by email if they needed me, and I requested them to remove, crop, or blur my pictures from Facebook because a voice inside me said, Maryam your face is precious and only for your hubby to see. Yes, I struggled, and it was hard: I gave up so many things which I feared would not benefit me in the Hereafter. I am still in the process of purifying my heart and always will be inshaAllah because it’s a lifelong struggle. Sometimes, things we do seem good to us, but they slowly poison our Iman.

Sheikh Reda Bedier said: “Watch the little things; a small leak will sink a great ship.”
You see, sometimes, we have our feet in two separate boats, one which has the flag of our desires on it and the other which says, “I love you, Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala.” It’s sad how we juggle between what’s necessary and what’s not and prefer what our heart desires over what our Khaliq wants us to do. Ustaad Khurram Murad said:

“Your Qalb (heart) cannot be compartmentalized. You cannot dedicate one piece of it to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and another to some other god, like wealth, status, career, spouse and so on. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is One, Indivisible and wants the human being to be undivided in service to Him. So long as our heart lies in a hundred places, so long as our eyes are set in a hundred directions, so long as we have many loyalties, we shall never be able to achieve that condition of ‘holding onto Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala’.”

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has said:

“O you who believe! Enter into Islam whole heartedly without any reservation.” [2: 208]
I want you to know, that if I can do it, then you can too. If you have anything in your heart that perturbs you greatly and it gives you sleepless nights, ask yourself one question: “Am I prepared for my death, my akhirah?” Truth is, nothing in life is guaranteed but death. After deleting my Facebook account and saying goodbye to it for good inshaAllah, I have so much faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala that He will give me a better platform to do dawah, one that will not distract me inshaAllah.
I pray that each and every one of us succeeds in becoming a believing, steadfast servant for Allah’s sake. May Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, enable us to be amongst those who purify themselves and help us differentiate between right and wrong, Ameen.



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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 13 January 2011 at 5:21pm

Assalaamoalaikum sister.  What a beautiful message. Thank you so much for reminding us all of the things that we can do that will cause us self destruction.  It is interesting that you posted this message because I have been having a long conversation with my family today about certain things that seems  to give us benefits but if we look at the long term affect of those things, the benefit is only short term.  I think that your message was lovely. We all can relate to it in our personal life whether or not if we develop the habit of being entertained by gossip, or we watch television that focus on pulling us away from worshipping Allah (SWT).  Before I married,   I convinced my husband that we will not get a television in the house.  The first year, he kept reminding me that we needed one. I also unrelently reminded him of our premarital agreement.  The second year, I surrender to his request, and we purchased all the amenties that make having a television more enduring.Tongue The third year, he said that he does not watch the television anymore and that it is a waste of money. I then begged him not to get rid of it and that if he gives me time, the I will soon make that decision for myself.LOL The fourth year and since  this past ramadan, we have no television, and I feel so refreshed. I feel like I am back to myself again. I am back at being more productive, etc. Anyways, some people may say that they have television only for watching the news, history channel etc, but I said that too. Eventually I started watching this show and that show. Anyway, I found that I was becoming more st**id. I was not challenging my mind and I became something that I did not like. Anyway,  I am back to my original self and I feel good. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. I have defeated the whispers of shaytan in that aspect.



Posted By: CrossYourToes
Date Posted: 19 January 2011 at 5:36am
Hmm...well it was interesting to see how Facebook can actually affect a girl's life and depress her faith. I'm glad you chose God's pleasure over your own passions and desires...
However, Facebook in itself is not "haram" or forbidden. Only if one uses it in the wrong way, then it is not permissible. There are many Islamic groups on Facebook and it could be used as a tool for spreading Islam. Apart from that, it is merely a social-tool which one uses to keep in touch with friends and family. If you didn't know the "brothers" why accept add requests from them? You can also limit your profile so that no one can search your name, or see you off other friends' lists. That way only female friends/relatives will see your pictures, etc.
 
In my opinion, Facebook is not a life-trasher if one knows how to use it properly. If one limits their time on it (a.k.a does not get addicted) then it's perfectly fine and does not depress your faith. It can be used to actually increase your faith and make you a better Muslim.
 
Take care <3


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 20 January 2011 at 2:12am
As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah

@Sister {lady} JazakAllah khayr for sharing your experience. Striving with {nafs}, self is toughest of all jihads.

Cross Your Toes - JazakAllah khayr for sharing your opinions. Myselves is of the same view that we must not quit facebook. Untill we feel that our taqwa is strong, and we can stand with strong faith, we must continue to spread the message of Islam thru facebook.

Alhamdulillah, am active at facebook. I do get many requests from non-mahrams, i simply ignore them. My pages are open to all. But would like to remind girls about footsteps of shaytaan - discussed in Qu'an. We may feel today, what's wrong if i add brothers, am my intention is dawah, later i may feel happy with the good comments of a brother over my shared articles. Slowly, interaction may start up of only the article. Even at this stage we may not realise that we are over the footsteps of satan. Next stage, we may exchange messages, -----.

It's better, if we sisters, totally avoid, adding non-mahrams to our lists.


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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: CrossYourToes
Date Posted: 22 January 2011 at 9:21am
Sorry if this may sound a little critical, but television itself may also be used to one's spiritual benefit and not self-destruction. I do not understand how it can possibly depreciate one's faith, when only informative channels are watched.
You can watch religious programs and benefit from many lectures given by Islamic scholars across the world. You may also watch science programs, and other intellectual programs, and widen your general knowledge. I find this factor extremely important, especially at a time where people consider Muslims to be "backwards", and not up-to-date with modern affairs. Even non-educational programs for entertainment purposes are fine as long as they do not contain anything explicit. Frankly, I find removing it completely an extreme measure, and we should be moderate as the Prophet (s) mentioned.
 
However I do believe that one may get carried away, and begin wasting hours watching tv. This does not occur with a controlled Muslim; Muslims should all be controlled and know where their limits lie. We should enjoy ourselves within the limits of halal, and benefit from the products of science and technology, constantly updating our knowledge. This will, in turn, attract non-Muslims to our beautiful religion. Muslims should be the sharpest knives in the drawer, and the most mannerly among all.
 
Take care <3


Posted By: semar
Date Posted: 22 January 2011 at 11:33pm
Salam,
 
I think in Islam "balance" and "moderation" is the key on everything. Excessive on anything is not permissible in Islam. And everything has bad side and good side. Similar with TV, internet, facebook, youtube even in this forum there is bad part and good part, if we do excessively in these things or we can not use wisely (choose the good parts and avoid the bad parts) will be bad for you.


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Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"


Posted By: lady
Date Posted: 23 January 2011 at 4:58pm
Cross your toes, I think that it depends on where you are located. In the US,there are not alot of positive television programs that is focused on improving one's life. Yes, watching islamic channels is not bad at all. But even if you watch the science channel, then you have to deal with the commercials, and the commerical usually are the worst. Everyone has their own way of maintaining their modesty. I still think that it was such a beautiful thing that I had stop watching television. If you watch television or use facebook, then who am I to judge you. I just shared  with people how I ALLOWED television to change me. 
 Well, I know for sure that recently on this website, they wrote an article that said american muslim women are more educated than the average american. Also too, even if people think that we are backwards, who cares


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 23 January 2011 at 11:52pm
As Salamu Alaikum

Good discussion. Cooly viewing the points, am of the opinion that it depends on our approach if we are moderate or extreme. For instance, telivision is discussed here. If am strong with my faith and in taqwa, no matter how bad a channel is, i shall not turn to it. But if am with staggered faith, i shall just remove it from my house. Faith is never constant of ours.



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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: Striking212
Date Posted: 13 February 2011 at 8:59am
I hate face book as it disgrace my prophet (peace b upon him). I hav left face book due to that.


Posted By: whitelion553
Date Posted: 10 October 2013 at 1:02am
Salam
thanks dear Maryam . u r right .i am certain that u r good muslim for ur honesty in writing this post .it was ur personal experience but it is problem of majority of youths special muslims .u r very luck for having this open and light mind .I am proud from meeting such respected muslim in this city and bless for u until be luck in ur life .thanks againSmile 


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i try to say only facts



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