Originally posted by somebody else Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah
Hope Ramadan was a blessing for you and your family. Eid is round the corner, so my post is terribly late on this thread, still want to share some thoughts with you, khair inshAllah.
Originally posted by somebody else
I have been Muslim for almost 5 years now, so I don't know if I still count as a "new" Muslim or not. I guess it's all relative. In any event, I still feel like a new Muslim. No, it's worse than that: I feel like I haven't made any progress, and actually I've regressed. I don't do all my prayers on time, and I've missed far too many. I've done many bad things since become Muslim that I just can't forgive myself for, even though I try hard not to despair of Allah's mercy. In the past I have made so many of the same mistakes over and over again. I am at the point where I think I'm past that, but honestly I'm afraid I'm not. I want to repent, but how can I trust that I'm sincere in my repentance when I've tried to change but failed so many times before?
You do not have to be sure of futiure events in order to repent. Just say astaghfirullah, and that is it.
If you make the same mistake again, then again say astaghfirullah. You never know which time is the last time you have sinned - because it is easy for Him to prevent you from wrong actions - never dispair of His power, and never dispair of His mercy.
We are all incapable in many ways, and if we accept this Allah loves to see that the slave sees herself as a slave, and not someone with might and power, because might and power is the domain of Allah.
Allah has said in the Quran that He loves those who repent. The word in arabic is " tawwabeen" which is the intensive form of "yatub" It means He loves those who are constantly repentant.
So you see, Allah did not say He loves those who may-have-repented, rather He loves those who repent again and again and again ...
Now I m not suggesting that one should deliberately fall into sin and continue in the cycle of sin and repentance! However, staying in a continous mode of repentance is a good thing. It is said in a hadith that had there not been anyone who would make a mistake or repent, then Allah would creat a people who would fall in sin then turn to Him for forgiveness!!
He does not love the sinner, but He loves to forgive and He loves those who seek forgiveness.
It is the shaytan who tells us "you are not good at it, so forget keeping your commitment, and if you cannot keep your commitmnet, then what is the point repenting". Know that every act of repentance is a seperate act and every time you repent you have a reward for doing that - so never be weary of it.
Remember that prophet used to repent 70 times in a day - and he was free of all sins!! so do not let the shaytan tell you its no good repenting ...
no matter how many times you fall on your face, your repentance is a fresh turning to Allah - a new means for you to draw near to Him and a new opportunity to seek His forgiveness.
Imam Ghazali has said if you have made it your custom to sin, then make it your custom to repent! He meant if the frequency of your sinning is high, then make the frequency of your repentance high.
As for your salah/prayers, just make a good estimate of how many you have missed, keep a log and strat making them up. I have a log of more than twice the number of years of missed salah than you have been muslim. When I have the courage to catch up the total, then you definitely fair a better chance than myself!
Find good muslim company and hold fast to them. If you cannot, then find one online.
http://www.SunniPath.com - http://www.SunniPath.com is a thriving global community imparting authentic islamic education online. If you have some money to spare, try taking a course or two this fall - am sure it will change you and you will love the newly found confidence in yourself !
Originally posted by someone else
You might find it hard to believe after all that, but my faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and the Qur'an and everything is strong, and it doesn't waver. When I am praying and I say the shahada, I feel so strong in my faith. But there is just such a gap between my faith, which I think is strong, and my expression of it, which is severely lacking.
In a hadith it is said that a strong muslim is better than a weak muslim, but there is good in both.
So never underestimate the value of your faith. Even when we are weak muslims, the faith in our hearts is a precious thing.
Our pious predecessors have said: No action is great that comes from a hauty heart, while no action is small that comes from a humble heart.
Allah loves the humble, He raises them in ranks those who humble themselves before Him. You have already shown so much humility in talking about your shorcommings to a public forum - now do not underestimate your rank before Allah. - Just work on yourself and seek Him for guidance ...
Allahumma inni ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatika:
O Allah grant me honor to make mention of you, to give thanks to you and to worship you well! ameen
Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.