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HELP ME

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Regional
Forum Name: Middle East
Forum Discription: Middle East
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15226
Printed Date: 20 September 2014 at 2:57am


Topic: HELP ME
Posted By: RASHROUSH2222
Subject: HELP ME
Date Posted: 14 August 2009 at 9:17am
salamo alaykm wrahmtu allah wbarkatu,
plz help me in an issue that makes me worried:
am a girl who lives in jordan and will be married inshallah to a muslim australian guy at the end of this year.
he is workin in security field,and due to the recession that has affected the whole world and since he works in part time he decided to start a second job part time,now with his new job je is working as a crowd controller in a hotel and he has to make sure the place is safe and secured,that includes the bar inside the hotel since australia is a non islamic country..
so am not feelin comfortable with his new job but i dont know if its ok for him to work in such a place since he is not in islamic country?
please help me.
jzakm allah khairan.
 
 
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،
أرجو مساعدتي في أمر يحيرني:
انا فتاة مقيمة في الأردن وسأرتبط في نهاية العام من شاب مسلم أسترالي الأصل وهو يعمل في مجال الأمن
والآن وكما تعلمون الوضع الإقتصادي قد تدهور في العالم أجمعه وهو يعمل بدوام جزئي وبسبب الوضع الإقتصادي وقلة توافر العمل فهو الآن يعمل بوظيفة ثانية
كرجل أمن في فندق في أستراليا ومن وظيفته الحفاظ على الأمن في الفندق ومن ضمنه الملهى الليلي
وانا لا أرغب في ذلك ولكن لا أعلم إذا كان في وضعه يجوز بما أنه يعمل في بلد غير مسلم.


ساعدوني جزاكم الله خيرا.




Replies:
Posted By: RASHROUSH2222
Date Posted: 15 August 2009 at 3:42am
i wish if i can find him a good offer in australia or even in the arab world.
but its not easy to convince him if the offer is not a big WOW.
he is australian origionally he studied islamic culture in university he works in security field...if anyone can help i appreciate it jazakom allah khair.
ur sister in islam.


Posted By: SteppeNomad
Date Posted: 24 August 2009 at 3:46pm
Why would you want an Anglo. Ive never understood some people. But anyway.
 
hmmm, dont waste your time, just leave him. Then the problem is solved easy way.
 
You might find better someday.
 


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 24 August 2009 at 10:36pm
Originally posted by SteppeNomad

Why would you want an Anglo. Ive never understood some people. But anyway.
 
hmmm, dont waste your time, just leave him. Then the problem is solved easy way.
 
You might find better someday.
 


WOW Confused  Alhamdulillah, there are not much muslim men like you, because if everyone was, I would understand why the muslim women are marrying "anglos". Better to open your mind and allow fresh air to come inside, really.


RASHROUSH2222,

You should not be worried because of his work, the problem is with his believe. If he is a good and convinced muslim, he will have no doubt about what he is allowed and not to do. But he should not leave this work because of entering a bar, because of the crisis. It is very difficult to find a good job, so better to keep the one we have by the moment.

Just stay there to support him, and he will be strong enough to go on with his work.

I wish you all the best in your marriage and all the happiness for both. God bless you.

Patricia



-------------
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: RASHROUSH2222
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 12:22am
steppenomad : r u a muslima?coz if u r am surprised from ur question marryin an anglo?he is a muslim isnt he?a good muslim actually elhamdulillah and am proud and honored to be his wife inshallah.and no matter wat inshallah i wont leave him.i have been blessed to have an opprotunity to marry a reverted muslim who cares alot about islam and that will help me teachin ppl in australia about islam and how to recite quran properly.
 
Pati: thnx so nice of u to say so i think u r right.his beleifs r very very good elhamdulillah and am sooooo proud of him..i will let him go with this work but i will always pray allah to give him another job away from these places.allah is too generous and he will respond inshallah.thnx again nice to have u here my dear.


-------------
ALLAH is too generous to let ur prayer down..if ALLAH take somethin away from u he gives u wat is much better.ELHAMDULILLAH for islam


Posted By: mariyah
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 5:07am
Asalaamu alaikum:
Steppe Nomad, you should be ashamed of yourself. My mother was a turk who married my Anglo father, himself  a Muslim convert.
I am assuming you yourself may be turk, as yoy refer to the steppes, the origin of many of the turkish peoples.
Please reread the last Sermon of the prophet, and reflect upon his statement: found at http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/lastserm.HTM - http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/lastserm.HTM
"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood"
 
May all who read this reap the blessings and rewards of Ramadan.


-------------
"Every good deed is charity whether you come to your brother's assistance or just greet him with a smile.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 7:54am
Originally posted by mariyah

Asalaamu alaikum:
Steppe Nomad, you should be ashamed of yourself.
 
I believe he raises a valid question.  How is it that a girl in Jordan, having a totally different culture and background (assuming she was born Muslim)would immigrate from a Muslim country to marry an Australian convert?  Seems to me that her concern about his work will likely only be the beginning of many more issues to come.  One may want to seriously consider this relationship now before heartache and regrets at some future date.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 8:17am
Originally posted by RASHROUSH2222

,now with his new job je is working as a crowd controller in a hotel and he has to make sure the place is safe and secured,that includes the bar inside the hotel since australia is a non islamic country..
so am not feelin comfortable with his new job but i dont know if its ok for
 
You may want to pose this question to a scholar in Australia who is familiar with the customs there.  Here in Los Angeles, and in most places I've visited, there is hotel security, but I don't really understand the function of "crowd controller" in a hotel.  It is however very common for bars to have what we call "bouncers", who escort drunk and disorderly patrons out of the establishment.  If his employment is mainly and primarily for this purpose, not only is it very dangerous, but clearing against .. "but do not help one another in sin and transgression..." al-Maaidah 5:2 Qur'an.  In other words, providing a safe environment for others to continue consuming alcohol.


Posted By: SteppeNomad
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 4:44am
Originally posted by Pati


WOW Confused  Alhamdulillah, there are not much muslim men like you, because if everyone was, I would understand why the muslim women are marrying "anglos". Better to open your mind and allow fresh air to come inside, really.
 
 
Alhamdulillah I dont have Identity Crises. But i think your still living in a dream world (where social rejects dont count).
 
The colonial days are over, believing in Pocahuntas stories of the Anglos/Conquistadors saving the Asian/Black/Latina lady from the hands of the savages are long gone. Maybe if you dominate a few more countries you might just live the fairy tale story again, but try Iraq again not counting the rapes Anglos do.
 
But of course if you confuse every Sikh, Hindu, Lost lady for a Muslim one then I dont blame ya Wink 
 
A few holiday resorts might change ya mind, you dont seem to be far from a few to see what Anglo women are after, ever wonder why BNP are gaining power? Smile to bad they cant stop the trend lol, sorry but thats reality.
 


Posted By: SteppeNomad
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 5:20am
Originally posted by mariyah

Asalaamu alaikum:
Steppe Nomad, you should be ashamed of yourself. My mother was a turk who married my Anglo father, himself  a Muslim convert.
I am assuming you yourself may be turk, as yoy refer to the steppes, the origin of many of the turkish peoples.
 
If youve figured out that much you might want to recheck history and ull see we mixed with almost everyone and still do, so not a big issue there. I know Turkish guys who are married to Anglos, Germans, Chinese, South Asian women etc, does not bother me at all as I will be doing the same. And the Anglo thing is just perferance, nothing to be ashamed of, im sure many other people have there perferences not to marry certain people but they just cant say it because they have to be politically correct losers.
 
Anyway it has got more to do with cultural - understanding differences then racial ones, although that comes under it i guess. But for example in an ideal traditional Turkic household, we kiss the hands of our elders as a sign of love (you might know that then), take off shoes in the house, go the extra mile to make sure guests feel comfortable at home, house must always be crisp clean, family members can just come in and out the house as they please, parents, bothers, sisters dont have to call you up and say "hey sister/duagther (in law) im going to stay over today",  they just come and do stay. Im sure this is the same with most Muslim societies, they are very culture and family orientated. Unlike that of Anglo-European ones where kids want to move out soon as they reach 18, and elders are stuck in care homes taking thier last breaths, unfortunatly Muslim societies are to getting affected by this desease of individualism.
 
Cultural/Racial differences are a richness and will/should add richness to the family and kids, however no culture is a different issue, and we see that in western societies today, and dw us Muslims are getting there for all those folks who hate culture and tradition so much.
 
btw note for all those with identity crises, i mean good culture that is not against Islam.


Posted By: SteppeNomad
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 5:48am
Originally posted by RASHROUSH2222

steppenomad : r u a muslima?coz if u r am surprised from ur question marryin an anglo?he is a muslim isnt he?a good muslim actually elhamdulillah and am proud and honored to be his wife inshallah.and no matter wat inshallah i wont leave him.i have been blessed to have an opprotunity to marry a reverted muslim who cares alot about islam and that will help me teachin ppl in australia about islam and how to recite quran properly.
 
i wish if i can find him a good offer in australia or even in the arab world.
but its not easy to convince him if the offer is not a big WOW.
he is australian origionally he studied islamic culture in university he works in security field...if anyone can help i appreciate it jazakom allah khair.
ur sister in islam.
 
No im a guy, but it dont take a scientist or gender relations expert to see what im seeing.
 
Im sure theres a lot of nice poius Muslims in Jordan to Wink well everyone  seems to care about Islam but reality is usually far from it these days.  Alot of people who get married saying "masallah such a poius brother/sister" then they become a ........... after the divorce certificate.
 
Anyway if im right your in Jordan, this guy is in Australia, he works as a crowd controller in a hotel/bar (likely night shifts) dealing with alcoholics as pious as it gets, you consider that not a proper job, im sure he doesnt get fancy pay for your and his liking. I garantee you have cultural differences, usually its a different story when you see someones toilet or kitchen as opposed to there piousness over the net. Im sure his doing backflips and telling his friends now that his going to have a Jordanian/Arab wife that will travel all the way to Australia for him while he wont move unless the "wow" factor in the job, considering his a security guard i doubt that "wow factor" will happen so forget it, forget you moving there to because of Visa problems, unless Australia dont ask Visa from Jordanian women but add to that the fact you know nothing about Australia and Australians, as well as possibly having no family there if this guy dumps you on the streets?
 
Not to mention that if he was such a great man, why on earth would you be here telling us this as opposed to talking with him about it and solving, seeing that he can look after/prove to you he is right for you.
 
My advise, unless you know shaykh oil al fawzan al alot of dollars, forget this story and move on with your life Smile
 
Sorry for making you cry in advance.
 


Posted By: RASHROUSH2222
Date Posted: 26 August 2009 at 11:56pm

Steppe: it seems u didnt even read my first post about this topic..

am not here askin shall i go on or break up with him?coz am goin through this for the sake of ALLAH,me and him..
am not worried or stressed out about him and thats not wat is it all about..am here askin about his job and only about his job...so if u wanna talk about weird things regardin him then u will be talkin about somethin am not interested to hear...am marrying this guy INSHALLAH thats somethin between me and ALLAH only....
i dont care if he is Anglo he is a great guy and he will be my world there and am sure it will take me sometime to cope with the life there...and we might even move to live in KSA(not soon)but he suggested that...
am marryina good muslim sir dont care about his nationality even though palestinian(me)are known that we always prefer to marry palestinian coz we have same culture same background.and i was engaged b4 to a palestinian good muslim(he claimed) guy...and elhamdulillah i broke up with him coz i dont care about anythin if he is not a good muslim..
so thnx alot for the time u spent to post ur opinion here but ur opinion is irrelevant to my topic...nothin in the world can change my mind of getting married to this guy....Y?coz am askin allah in every single salah for 7 months about this guy and alhamdulillah things r goin great and inshallah i will be married to him and remember dont fear a muslim who fears allah.and when i say fear allah am not talkin about sins only...i mean in every simple thing in his life...and inshallah my guy is one of them inshallah...but its just this job that am not feelin ok with coz in my country we have alot of other options but in his country almost no option to stay away from haram places coz a non muslim country is a country that is full of haram...and dont forget the financial crisis that left millions of ppl around the world unemployed..
jazakom allah khair....


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ALLAH is too generous to let ur prayer down..if ALLAH take somethin away from u he gives u wat is much better.ELHAMDULILLAH for islam


Posted By: SteppeNomad
Date Posted: 28 August 2009 at 2:48am
lol ok, do as you wish, your life.
 
you asked for advice, so i gave it.
 
Best of wishes.
 
 



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