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Girls vs Grown Women

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups – Men (Brothers)
Forum Discription: Groups – Men (Brothers)
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14838
Printed Date: 30 October 2014 at 6:22am


Topic: Girls vs Grown Women
Posted By: abuayisha
Subject: Girls vs Grown Women
Date Posted: 10 June 2009 at 8:43am
Grown Women

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his
friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more
special and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate, without fear
of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring
all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-
and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male
friends ,
SO THEY TOO CAN PASS IT ON TO THEIR GROWN FRIENDS......

Be Strong..........
Be Blessed.......
Be Wise.........




Replies:
Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 10 June 2009 at 11:02am

Hi,

It's very nice, and right, sure... but one thing: in my opinion, everywoman is a girl and a grown woman, it's just depending on the moment.
 
By my side, I think that I am a grown woman, according to the text you posted... but sometimes I am a girl and act like one.
 
On the other side, I think that it's worthy for boys and grown men too!!!
 
They are asking where are you going, with whom, they are calling everytime, etc... But we like it (sure, without overstepping the limits!!).
 
Regards,
Patricia


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 6:57am
Dont all women want to be girls for the rest of thier life? Big%20smile

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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 11 June 2009 at 1:57pm
Originally posted by Chrysalis

Dont all women want to be girls for the rest of thier life? Big%20smile
LOL
 
You know, in Spain we have a tale, I don't know if it's also in other countries: a man is son of his mother, until he becomes son of his wife!!!!LOL
 
I wish if we were able to be girls for the rest of our lives... but later, we find a man in our way and everything is spoiled!!! Well... not everything Wink
 
 


-------------
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: Duane
Date Posted: 13 June 2009 at 12:59pm

Speaking for myself I am a boy at times when it is proper, and a man when it is proper.  I imagin that it would be the same for women also.  I like a woman who knows how to be either at the right times.  I do know however, that if given the choise I would never want to be a boy again.  It was difficult enough the first time.  Smile  It is truly a wonder that any of us live to adulthood. 

Duane



Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 13 June 2009 at 4:20pm
"I would never want to be a boy again.  It was difficult enough the first time."   Ditto!


Posted By: Ali77
Date Posted: 12 July 2009 at 8:34am
How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?because I think all the try to appear well infrontof us but after marrage they appear as their nature sharp and lier
and aggreesive and illtreatment.


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 11:42am
Originally posted by Ali77

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?because I think all the try to appear well infrontof us but after marrage they appear as their nature sharp and lier
and aggreesive and illtreatment.
 
Hi Ali77,
 
I think that your comment is not fair, because we as women could say the opposite, that men are nice until we sign the marriage contract, and after that they don't accept any responsability, or face any problem. Worst than that, we have to go ahead with our lives and the lives of our children... you can read the Women's forum, and you will realise how much difficult the situations of some of them are because of their husbands.
 
My suggestion? Before getting married, try to talk with her about everything. If you are able to keep on a conversation with someone for more than 2 or 3 hours, and you dind't feel bored, it's a good starting point. But it's impossible to keep the good face forever.
 
Try to ask her about what would she do in several situations, or how does she plans her marriaged life... and try not to tell her how do you think that the marriage should be. I mean, this way, you will get her answer and not the answer you would like from her.
 
In any case, and unfortunately, there is no way to be sure that the other person is the right one. Just take your time and don't get a quick decision after meeting the first woman.
 
Other thing: the perfect woman or the perfect man doesn't exist. Just look for your perfect woman, the one who can give you a peaceful and great life.
 
All the best,
Patricia


-------------
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 2:04pm
The Prophet (saw) said: “A man is on the deen of his friend, watch out who your friends are.” Tirmidhi 2378, Abu Dawood 4833
 
Examine her family and friends, as this may give a good indication of values and belief.  Keeping in mind that most men desire an attractive wife, emphasis should be placed on her religious practice and not only family status, beauty and wealth.  You will never like everything about your wife, but look to the good aspects in her and overlook those faults which you dislike.  Generally people lie for fear of reprisal, so be kind and gentle; hopefully she then will not have to worry about her being deceitful.  I do not necessary see aggressiveness as a poor quality as long as harshness does not accompany this attribute. 
 
Like Pati mentioned indeed the opposite can be said of men, and frankly I'm surprise to hear of these complaints coming from a man about women.  It is most often, sadly,  the reverse.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 4:34pm
Originally posted by Ali77

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?.
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.Prophet Muhammed(SAW)says that you can marry for wealth and or beauty.If a women trully fears Allah she is right for you.If she is on top of her deen she is right for you.I have heard that the women will at times choose you,they are the ones who mature faster and sometimes have limited time to pro-create according to there biological clock(Allah Knows Best)in the end.May Allah Bless you.


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 5:02pm
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah

Originally posted by Ali77

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?.
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.Prophet Muhammed(SAW)says that you can marry for wealth and or beauty.If a women trully fears Allah she is right for you.If she is a pious women she is right for you.I have heard that the women will at times choose you,they are the ones who mature faster and sometimes have limited time to pro-create according to there biological clock.I have heard that some sisters inquire that they wish to get married threw an Imam and he introduces her to a good brother.(Allah Knows Best)in the end.May Allah Bless you.


Posted By: Duane
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 10:40am
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.

I have to agree with the majority of advice you are getting from the brothers.  I would like to add that I have married in the past for beauty.  This was before I came to Islam.  None of these marriages worked out.  Beauty is a transient thing and is one of the ways we are misguided in this world. 

Duane


Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 11:23am
Originally posted by Duane

As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.I have to agree with the majority of advice you are getting from the brothers.  I would like to add that I have married in the past for beauty.  This was before I came to Islam.  None of these marriages worked out.  Beauty is a transient thing and is one of the ways we are misguided in this world.  Duane
Wa Alaikum As Salam Duane.The Beauty you are talking about is outer,say you are inquiring on marring a sister who dawns a full niqab, and she is pious and wont show you her face,how would one still think that she is beautiful,you get it.


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 1:58am
I think even Niqabi sisters can remove the face veil - so that both prospective partners can look at each other. Both have a right to know what the other looks like. Unless it is a very pious brother who does not mind. Which I believe are 1% of today's muslim ummah. . .   Looking at our spouse before marriage is sunnah - sunnah is an 'encouraged act', following sunnah is sawab. One should not try to exceed beyond sunnah in thier actions (Bukhari hadith narrated by Aisha (r.a) about the 3 men who went beyond sunnah)


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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: JihadX
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 12:01pm
Aha nice conversation going on here... I think the most admirable woman would be the muslimah wearing niqab. To marry such would be an honor. Allah knows best....
I think it symbolizes her personality as religious and modest. To me, this is more important than looks of her face.


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“The knife that slaughtered the guards at Bagram and set us free is now on its way to other places,”
_ The Mujahid, The Eminent, Sheikh Abu Yahya Al Libi


Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 12:41pm
"I think it symbolizes her personality as religious and modest."
 
Or could simply be form over substance.  Look closer at actions to make a more accurate determination.


Posted By: Duane
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 1:04pm
Thank you Chrysalis.  You put it into words very well. 

I have not been a Muslim long enough to really look into the whole marriage thing for myself.  I am still trying educate the new muslim I am.  I only have experience with women before coming to Islam.  I am only sharing what is true for me.  I being new would want someone who is strong in faith to help strengthen me in my Islam, then attraction next.

"A woman is chosen for marriage for four reasons: her wealth, social status, beauty and religion.  So marry the religious woman, may your hands be filled with sand (a statement of encouragement.)
Fath Al-Bari 9:35, Muslim 2:1087

I can only strive to do the best of things when it is my time to marry.

Duane


member_profile.asp?PF=58478&FID=46 -


Posted By: JihadX
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 1:05pm
@ abuayisha : That would be enough... without looking at actions.

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“The knife that slaughtered the guards at Bagram and set us free is now on its way to other places,”
_ The Mujahid, The Eminent, Sheikh Abu Yahya Al Libi


Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 6:21pm
To marry such would be an honor. Allah knows best.... I think it symbolizes her personality as religious and modest.

JihadX... until you find out that she wear the niqab to hide her identity to see her boyfriend.. I know women in Pakistan who have done this..

Its the same as 'beauty' its the outer cover.. and that can be a mirage..

So be careful that what something is symbol represents the inside..


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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi


Posted By: Chrysalis
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 6:27am
Yes Hayfa - there are horrendous stories about how some Muslims behave and use religion as a shield - hypocritical attitudes. Have seen some firsthand myself. It can actually be very demoralising, and disappointing - even for existing muslims, let alone new ones.

However, better not mention them in front of our new muslim brothers & sisters, since thier perception of muslims and islam is still fairly new. Such people exist everywhere. I do not wish to spoil the strong imaan they feel about the ummah and islam. If you know what I mean. You are a revert yourself, perhaps you understand. For if they hear negative things said about other muslims, they may unconsciously be effected - for e.g looking at a Niqabi Muslimah and wonder about her intentions, or meet a bearded brother, and suspect them -because of the things they heard. Etc. Hope u know what I mean.



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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."


Posted By: Saladin
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 9:59am
Well its all viral now, can depress the pious to coma. And even sickening some exploit these to further abuse the Muslim identity in many ways.


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'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'



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