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? to all my muslim sisters:

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Category: General
Forum Name: GREEN Forum
Forum Discription: Anything related to the environment, that can educate people to be more friendly to the environment. Remember we only have one livable planet , so far.
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Topic: ? to all my muslim sisters:
Posted By: nater
Subject: ? to all my muslim sisters:
Date Posted: 28 June 2008 at 7:36pm

-- Previous Private Message --
Sent by : nater
Sent : 28 June 2008 at 7:28pm

Bismillah irrahman irrahim-Assalmu alaikum sisters:?ConfusedConfusedConfusedOuchConfusedConfusedConfused
i have a very,very.very,very-dark skin color. i want to use skin lighteen carims but i want to make sure if that is allow in islam. I want to lighteen my skin because i don't think my hushand love my skin color. He nerve tell me that he loves me, not even by misstak and we have marred for complet four now. This is very sad for me sisters, so please help with any idea that would help me wiht this problem.It may not sound like a problem, but this is a big problem for me. so please sisters help me wiht this question. Thank You to all of you.
"Form Allah we come and to Allah we will retun" (Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatuh).
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Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 29 June 2008 at 11:14pm
  • In certain areas in the Arab world, the lighter you are the more beautiful you are considered. In some countries the implications of this hierarchy go so far as to affect one's social class and job opportunities. In other places, it leads to surgery to 'correct' certain characteristics which stray from the European-based ideal of a small, straight nose, straight soft hair, big eyes (preferably blue) and fair-skin.
  • Many South Asian women grew up constantly being told to avoid sunlight for the fear of growing darker. Growing darker, of course, meant becoming less attractive.
  • All of the actors in popular Indian movies and magazines are light skinned, interesting since most Indian women are darker than those in the movies.
  • In Jamaica a brown (Janet Jackson) complexion is often considered more attractive than a black (Lauren Hill) one.
  • In 1999 it was discovered that bleaching creams had illegally returned to South Africa more than a decade after they were banned for having disfigured thousands of black women.

Posted By: Angel
Date Posted: 30 June 2008 at 6:56am

shouldn't this be on the womens section?

Hi nater, i think you should talk to your husband how you feel, if you don't then he will never know how you feel. I think that is the first and foremost thing you should be doing. Changing your skin colour is not the right way to go to see if your husband loves you. I know there are some people who don't like their skin colour for a few reasons. Do you like your skin colour? if you do then your shouldn't be changing it for anyone. Usuallly when people want to change something of their body it is usually because they want others to like or love them, not necessarily doing things for themselves. (There are a few medically reason why body changes should occur but other than that......) I don't myself agree with self tanning or lighteners because since you are applying it to your skin, the skin will absorb it into the body, usually not friendly ingreditents are used. To lighten is to bleach it is some way, that bleach is absorb into the body.  Even whiten teeth you use bleach and incorrectly and using too much will ruin your teeth.
I wouldn't be changing anything about my body for anyone, my body is my body and no one elses, nor would i do such things for people to like or love me even if that person is my husband. 
I know you feel sad but perhaps talking to your husband how you feel and that you feel sad that he hasn't said 'i love you', to you, there could be a reason, which therefore he needs to tell you. Perhaps you could have some one with you when you talk sometimes that helps things.

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~

Posted By: nater
Date Posted: 30 June 2008 at 5:47pm
Assalmu alaikum sister Angel/abuayisha, thank for your advise. I will talke to him, insha-Allah some thing good would come out of it. Agia, thank you very for your time and help sisters.(Assalmu alaikum sisters).May Allah have mercy on all of us.

Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 02 July 2008 at 5:50am
Asalam Alakum,
Welsome to the Forum Nater.
I want to ditto what Angel said. And also that Allah created you. Just as you are. You are beautiful.  We women can be mean and downright super critical to ourselves.  So many of us are trying to be something we are not, lighter, darker etc.
Men generally less capable of communicating and sharing thoughts and feelings. They often don't understand that people need compliments too on things they are doing right or about their essence as a person. The world is a hard place at times. Positive energy / support /love helps our travel through it.
One of the names of Allah is Musawwir which can be translated as the Shaper of Beauty.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

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