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Please guide me... Please...

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Regional
Forum Name: Asia-Pacific
Forum Discription: Asia-Pacific
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12339
Printed Date: 20 April 2014 at 8:18pm


Topic: Please guide me... Please...
Posted By: Nycin
Subject: Please guide me... Please...
Date Posted: 28 April 2008 at 6:23pm
Assalamu Alaikkum,

My name is Nycin. I am a B.Tech graduate and I completed my graduation in 2005. I am presently working in Kerala as a software engineer.

I loved a girl very much, Rejina, during my college years, who was my classmate. I didn't disclose my love for her, for years. But when I was in a situation that I cannot live without her, I disclosed it to her, by calling her to a private room. But she no longer accepted it, nor did she talk to me after that.

But for about 7yrs, she is the only lady in my mind, and I will not and cannot think of a lady other than her, in my whole life.

Many times, I decided to suicide. But I can't do it, since there is no escape for the one who suicides, from hell. I know that well. And that is the only thing, that stands between me and death.

I cry a lot thinking of her, everywhere. I had to take leave from my office instantly, some days, because I cannot control my weeping. I don't look at the face of anybody now, because I have hatred for all. I have to go home twice a week, to forget everything. But I can't forget anything...

Please don't advise me to marry, because I don't want to destroy another woman's life, by thinking of my love. I can't adapt to anyone other than Rejina, because I am so tuned to her. I can't live without her.

I had one close friend, and she is also hating me these days. I could talk to her even in mid-night over telephone. But she is also neglecting me these days. I have no intention to love/marry her, because she is my true friend.

But no one in this world understands me. Should I suicide and go to hell? Even hell is better for me in my present condition.

I have also lost faith in Allah. I know that He is there. But will not help me ONLY in this regard. I have prayed him to give me my love, even in midnight, for hours, for months on end. But none to hear...

I don't care about Islam these days, even though I had 5 times Namaz years back. These days, I don't even go for Juma.

My love is everything for me, because I loved one and only one, in my life time.

Please guide me...
Nycin.



Replies:
Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 29 April 2008 at 6:40pm
Yes brother, ak_m_f, you are right. I regret for my emotional posts.

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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 29 April 2008 at 6:52pm
 
Kindly learn this and keep reciting
 
Ya muqallibal-qulubi, thabbit qalbi `ala dinika , which means

O Controller of the hearts make my heart steadfast in Your religion
 
 
Do read this section. It shall insha-Allah help you revive your faith
 
http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_topics.asp?FID=9 - http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_topics.asp?FID=9
 
Open your eyes and look around you brother. You shall find many oppressed muslims and needy poor people. You shall also find people either searchig for truth or need just a little spark to lighten the Imaan. You are a software Engineer. I guess you ear handy. Experience the happiness  by spending your day helping the poor. Its immense. Try it ur brother.


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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 30 April 2008 at 4:18am

There's no delete option. So am editing them



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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: Nycin
Date Posted: 04 May 2008 at 9:54am
I hate this world... I hate myself.


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 04 May 2008 at 5:27pm
As'Salamu Alaikum,
 
Brother, Allah swt  is The forgiver. He forgives any number of sins we commit . So just repent for all that happened and start up a new day with new thoughts and lead an islamic life. Am sure, insha=Allah, success shall be then yours.


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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: ak_m_f
Date Posted: 04 May 2008 at 7:42pm
seriously you should seek professional medical help.


Posted By: Sign*Reader
Date Posted: 11 May 2008 at 8:37pm
Nycin:
ASA
B4 I give any advice would you detail the traditions and customs around Regina's family  and also about your own?
Would you consider it normal if any one else used he same method with any of your unmarried relatives?

You could PM this info to me!



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Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.


Posted By: drOp
Date Posted: 15 June 2009 at 10:09am
hi, it has been long time since it is written. so i don t know may be you had already get over it. anyway i want to write something for you..

if you still fell in love,

you should send what you have written to her.

don't forget that, if you go to heaven, you can be with her forever. so don t suicide ;) you have still a chance.

Also, you shouldn t get angry with Allah. Because, he created her. and if you love her, you should love the creater more than her. He is just examing you. and also you cannot know what is good for you. He know it better than you my brother..


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 1:18pm
Hi Nycin,
 
Really, it's painful to read all this. It's reminding me lot of feelings I had...
 
I was on relation for 2 years with the perfect man (for me), and we were really happy... and then, the dream got over and we realized that we didn't have a future together without hurting so much people!!
 
See, just think about something: sometimes, we idealize people when we have a deep feeling and don't make it true... when you met her, you were a child, and now you are a man!!! You have to think about what you really need now: a good person, who cares about you, who understand you, who supports you, and who loves you. Someone who can give you a feeling.
 
Don't stop all your life because a girl didn't accept you, because it's something that happens everyday to so many people... really, you just need to open your eyes and realize that there is a life after that girl, and you are missing lot of things.
 
Sometimes, it's very easy to say, but not this much easy to do... if you are not able to solve the situation alone, just seek for help. Going to the psicologyst would be a good step, because they know how to make us grow and reinforce our character.
 
Really, you need help, in the same way that I was needing. If I can help you, I will be there, but really, the life is the best gift ever, don't despise it, just enjoy it as much as you can, and respecting everyone.
 
All the best,
 
Patricia


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: Nycin
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 2:19pm
Hello Patricia,

I am feeling very lonely, even after my marriage. All that I can think about is, about my first love. The only love from heart.

Nycin


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 16 June 2009 at 5:56pm
Come on Members ! that was an year ago, our brother Nycin has posted. Allah swt needs not even a second to control our hearts and steadfast us, provided we seek forgiveness and guidance from Him.

Alhamdullilah, now he is very happily settled. He has got married to very good, religious girl. Nycin, helps a family , financially also. He is regular to his prayers, good to  his parents, alhamdullilah. That was a phase of life, he passed on and is over. All Praises be to Allah swt, who helped him overcome those happenings.



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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 17 June 2009 at 11:59am
Originally posted by seekshidayath

Come on Members ! that was an year ago, our brother Nycin has posted. Allah swt needs not even a second to control our hearts and steadfast us, provided we seek forgiveness and guidance from Him.

Alhamdullilah, now he is very happily settled. He has got married to very good, religious girl. Nycin, helps a family , financially also. He is regular to his prayers, good to  his parents, alhamdullilah. That was a phase of life, he passed on and is over. All Praises be to Allah swt, who helped him overcome those happenings.

 
Inchallah/ojalá (Spanish)!!
 
I hope your words are true... in any case, I'm sorry because I didn't realize about the date Ermm
 
Patricia
 
 


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: drOp
Date Posted: 17 June 2009 at 12:54pm
ohh i am glad to read them! :)  i noticed the date, however i want to write something. and now i see that i needn't.. Elhamdulillah.. :)


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 19 June 2009 at 4:13pm
Originally posted by Nycin

Hello Patricia,

I am feeling very lonely, even after my marriage. All that I can think about is, about my first love. The only love from heart.

Nycin
Hi Nycin,
 
Really, it's nice to have news from you!!!
 
My experience tells me that not everything coming from the heart is the best thing for us. Really... just realize that you are very lucky, because you have (sure) a very good woman supporting you. Maybe your love is not as strong as it was in that time for the other woman... but, as I told you, your age is not the same, your personal needs are not the same, and your personal circumstance too, are not.
 
Just think about all the good things you have around you, sure you have thousand!!
 
It's good to remember the old times, but in your situation, the problem is that you didn't know that girl deeply, you didn't have relation with her... maybe, if you knew her, you would never ask her to marry you!! Who knows?
 
Now, you are a man, not a child, and you have to be responsible. It's not bad to remember her, sure you will do the rest of your life, but you need to analyse the real situation under the perspective of the time... so many years!!
 
In my situation, I remember my ex-boyfriend everyday, everytime. Everything reminds me of him... but I will not stop my life here, I cannot. With the time, I will find a good man and share with him my life, and I am sure I will never forget my ex, first of all because I didn't stop the contact, and secondly because even if we stop contacting, he is already part of my life, and a very important one. But, the life goes on, and I have to go on too.
 
Come on, just enjoy the life with responsability, and make your wife as happy as you can, in the same way she will do!!!
 
See, there is a phrase I love: "behind every cloud, there are thousand suns"... this girl is your cloud, just look for your suns!!Smile
 
All the best Wink , from my heart,
Patricia
 
 
 


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 19 June 2009 at 5:56pm
Originally posted by Nycin

Hello Patricia,

I am feeling very lonely, even after my marriage. All that I can think about is, about my first love. The only love from heart.

Nycin


What ! But you said, you said you were happily settled now.

Anyways, remember Nycin and am reminding you again, there can be no true love except love for Allah swt  and Prophet {Pbuh}

Thats all satanic attacks over you. Satan never wants to lead anyone a peaceful life, esp married life.

I can only say, FEAR ALLAH SWT AND THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DECEIVE YOUR WIFE ANYMORE. {Be grateful to Allah swt that she's so good. Go and read the PM, in which you praised her good qualities that may revive your love for her}. Like when you must have read that st**id post you posted abt the problem, you must have got revived of those pains again. Likewise read about her good qualities. A good wife is a blessing of Allah swt and you are not holding gratefulness over this blessing. First loVE ! My foot.

Also, you possess no right to interfere Regina's life. Just beware, these satanic voices, will lead no betterment in dunya and aakhirah. Stop listening to any film songs {If listening}, that wave these st**id thoughts.

I feel so frustrated at you Nycin --- I have my friends at Kerala, will you meet them ? Or atleast try to associate with Quranic classes or any ---





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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 19 June 2009 at 6:06pm

Also, i guess you are not regular to salah. else these kind of thoughts, never wander around. When you get those thoughts, seeks refuge from him. Busy your heart with remembrance of Allah swt. Where there is zikr of Allah swt', satan runs away.

Don't mind if any of my words seem harsh, but its really very bad Nycin. I pray Allah swt to bless you with guidance. Seek forgiveness from Allah swt and start up again, my brother.




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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 19 June 2009 at 6:43pm

Here's a translation of Quran in Malayalam { Iguess it also has audio} Listen , ponder and reflect over it. Insha Allah, it shall help you a lot. If you are unable to get that link, go to Quran and Sunnah section of this site, and there you may easily find a thread - {Look for the word Malayalam, Bangla Quran}


http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12806



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Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."


Posted By: Saladin
Date Posted: 20 June 2009 at 6:26pm
Originally posted by Nycin

Hello Patricia,I am feeling very lonely, even after my marriage. All that I can think about is, about my first love. The only love from heart.Nycin


So romantic but when you dont get or lose something, pray and hope for something else better, not make your's and others lives miserable. There's so much to live for in this world and the hereafter, you'd realise once you get out of that cage you've locked yourself up in....... Move on Romeo!



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'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'


Posted By: Pati
Date Posted: 21 June 2009 at 3:31pm
Hi again, Nycin
 
I found a text from Paulo Coelho, I don't know if you know about him... I want you to read it and think, please. It's inviting the reader to find the love as a gift, even if it was not completed... and not like a punishment. From every thing in this life, we can learn, but I don't know why, from the bad things it's becoming hard for us to understand the lesson... I know you will do one day, and you will open your eyes and realize that you wasted lot of time thinking about something impossible.
 
Read it, please (I read it in Spanish, and I don't know the quality of the translation. I hope it didn't lose the idea).
 
 
Convention of those wounded in love
 

General provisions: 

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage.  Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”.  Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage.  In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while.  The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden.  In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor.  The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly.  Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time.  It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things.  One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints.  Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day. 

Final determination : Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers.  They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”.  Because they haven’t.

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/warrioroflight/page/40/ - http://paulocoelhoblog.com/warrioroflight/page/40/


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No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.


Posted By: Nycin
Date Posted: 23 August 2011 at 11:18am
Hi,

I am sorry to hurt you people again.

To be honest, I am completely lost in my life, with nothing to remember.

All I can think of is about Rejina only. I loved her that much.

Nycin


Posted By: Nycin
Date Posted: 19 October 2012 at 6:57am
Assalamu Alaikkum...

I am not expecting any miracle going to happen in this life... I will be in hell, and I know that well, than anybody else.

The pain in my heart is increasing day by day, and I am waiting for a heart attack, that will end my life, and relieve me from the non ending pain that I am having for the last few years.

I am not trying to disturb anybody with my feelings. Still, may be, Allah will hear somebody's prayer for me, and may be, if Allah is willing, Rejina will understand, how much I loved her!

You people may be thinking that I am mad. But sincerely, I am not, and the thing is that I am not able to forget her... and I cannot live without her... She is my only love, and I will be happy to die for her...

Nycin



Posted By: Caringheart
Date Posted: 19 October 2012 at 3:11pm
Nycin,

What comes to mind is that it is what we allow ourselves to dwell on, to think about, that controls our feelings.  You need to redirect your thoughts towards the life you have now, especially since you went ahead and married another.  You are being very unfair to that other.
,
Now what also comes to my mind is, are you familiar with the marriage of Prince Charles to lady Diana?  If you are, then you know also that in the end Charles ended up married to his first love Camilla.  He did as was expected of him, and lived the life given to him, and in the end his patience was rewarded.  You are having to do the harder thing right now... being submitted to the life given to you by Allah, and trusting in His will for your life.  You must live today, thinking only of making the most of today, and trusting in Him for tomorrow.  Allah knows what is best for us.
You have a vision, a dream... what if you were given that dream only to find it is a shattered vision... like a mirror?
Trust Allah.


Posted By: phuongtuanpy248
Date Posted: 10 May 2013 at 6:50pm
hey guy, dont sucide for women, it's unworthy. If she don't love you, you can find another lover. Important that,make your life always funny and happy. Good luck to you.



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