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oral sex

Printed From: IslamiCity.com
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups Women (Sisters)
Forum Discription: Groups Women (Sisters)
URL: http://www.IslamiCity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11629
Printed Date: 23 September 2014 at 3:44pm


Topic: oral sex
Posted By: raz84
Subject: oral sex
Date Posted: 17 January 2008 at 1:45pm

salaam sisters,

i just read the other message regarding the sister who was having problems regarding her sexual relationship which now has been resolved for her alhumdulilah, it mentioned something regarding Oral sex, i was wanting to find this out for a while but didnt know who to as and somehow brought myself to open up.

 

is oral sex allowed, i heard its disliked but wasnt sure, my hubby prefers it as part of the intercourse and sometimes even asks me to swallow, ive said no afew times but i know im letting him down, he understands and is very caring but im not sure if its the right thing to do.

 

can someone give me some more info on this please?




Replies:
Posted By: andara
Date Posted: 17 January 2008 at 1:56pm
oral sex is allowed. Swallowing... it is kind of taste weird, but you may get use to it. If he is understanding, then he would not force you to do thing you dont like.


Posted By: raz84
Date Posted: 19 January 2008 at 12:36pm

jazakallah sister, who replied to my message.

 

im very confused, i have heard from people that its haram or disliked.

 

if you say its halal/allowed and you are allowed to swallow then do you have anything to back this up, im not saying i dont believe you, its just that i want to make sure i dont dissapoint allah swt.



Posted By: minuteman
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 12:43am

 

 May I say that the real teachings, practice of the most pious persons is that husband and wife should not see each other naked ( that is in lit up room). They should not see the secret parts of each other with naked eyes. That is the real Islamic teachings if any one can do that.

 Another. No man should touch any lady by hand who is not related. If any one can do that. It will solve many problems. If a person, say a (male) friend of mine in England sits and talks with ladies and goes out for a walk with her but never touches her hand or any part of her body. They spend one or two months together like that.

 What happens at the end of that time!  Both of them and all others can be happy and be assured that nothing wrong was done between them. That is the real teaching.   All these things may be difficult to follow. But please do not deny or look down upon the real Islamic way of life, whatever you do for youself is not any one's concern.



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If any one is bad some one must suffer


Posted By: Alwardah
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 11:37am

As Salamu Alaikum

Firstly sister Raz84, such a question such to be asked privately to an Imam or some member via PM. Haya is one of the parts of Faith and such a question reflects lack of Haya.

Secondly.......I don't think from an Islamic prospect, it is allowed, especially the swallowing,  it is best to ask an scholar.

Take care

Salams



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Verily your Lord is quick in punishment; yet He is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (Surah Al-Anam 6:165)
"Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him is our return" (Surah Baqarah 2: 155)


Posted By: Aminah07
Date Posted: 20 January 2008 at 3:36pm

ASA SR. raz84,

UCK I didn't know this type of topic could show up here even though we are all sr's.

I think minuteman and sr.alwardah had good advice.

Here is a good link to go to almost everything you could imagine asking is covered there in the archives if not you can ask them a new question http://islam.tc/ask-imam/index.php - http://islam.tc/ask-imam/index.php



Posted By: andara
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:34am
"Women are your fields. Go then into your fields as you please." (2:223)

It is forbidden to have vaginal intercourse while a woman is menstruating (Qur'an 2:222).

The other thing that is forbidden is anal sex. Other than that everything is OK.

Please pm me if you want.


Posted By: Ashgul12
Date Posted: 01 February 2008 at 3:24pm
Asak Sister,

Pls. visit this site which explains your query.

http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=11873

Oral sex is forbidden and anal sex is haram in Islam.


Posted By: layalee
Date Posted: 01 February 2008 at 3:59pm

According to this pretty well written article it is haram. And it provides deep detail and reason on why it is.

http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/OralSexInIslam.htm - http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/OralSexInIslam.htm



Posted By: Nur_Ilahi
Date Posted: 02 February 2008 at 3:02am

I supported what minuteman said.

Aishah Radiallahuanha said, she never saw the private parts of Rasulullah even though she was his wife. I also read somewhere that when they had sex, they were covered with a piece of cloth.

Allah sent Rasulullah as the perfect guide to humankind. It is fitting that we should make him as the best example of a human being. How do we show our love to Rasulullah? By emulating him the best that we could.

InshaAllah.



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Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.


Posted By: Israfil
Date Posted: 02 February 2008 at 8:14am

I'm not going to sit here and counter argue the already established opinions because I didn't even want to respond to this thread in particular. However, I noticed some of you discuss sex as if the subject is seemingly taboo to discuss openly. I'm probably going to sound like a broken record but the fact of the matter is: Sex is natural. In matters of oral sex it is another sexual position where the dominate intent is pleasuring the genital area (sounding like a broken record). Oral sex is not necessarily destructive and the process of "swallowing" is not destructive to the body either unless your partner has an STD then you are at risk of contracting something. Unlike oral sex, anal sex is perhaps the most disruptive as this area can be destroyed if foreign objects enter. Women as well as men can risk tearing the anus and developing hemroids (I'm so sleepy I know I mispelled that).

I looked on the website provided by Ashgul12 and I thought to such an extensive question that was a poor response. Not only did he not give a thourough explanation he assumed that such acts invokes an emotion out of an immaterial being such as God. The mufti's argument was very weak because without Quranic and/or Hadith support there is no strength to what the Mufti was saying. The other link was not coming on my computer so I'll try again later..



Posted By: layalee
Date Posted: 02 February 2008 at 10:53am

I don't want to come off saying what is 'right' or what is 'wrong'. Sometimes with particular subjects it's a matter of our own judgement, even after we hear 'opinions', 'facts'. In the end we are faced with either following the judgement or not- it's our choice. The consquences of what we did or will do will come to surface eventually.

I would say to anyone more intested in this particular topic to not simply stop here for the answers. Do your own research on the matter. If we are ignorant in certain areas then it's nothing wrong with asking. I only suggest that whatever subject you search that the 'fact'  has a supporting ayat or hadith.

With this particular subject a 'health book' response is not sufficent. There are alot of aspects in life we can engage in that may not 'harm' us but that don't mean its 'safe' to engage in.

The matter of oral sex is not so much the phyiscal harm or effects. It's a matter of complication because it deals with cleaniness, pureness.

Here is a hadith that I found and actually there is a disagreement between the schools of thoughts on determining if semen is pure or impure based on this hadith.

I used to rub it off of the clothes of Allahs Messenger (peace be upon him)| Sheikh Salman al-Oadah|

 


`’ishah said, speaking about semen: I would simply rub it off the clothes of Allahs Messenger (peace be upon him) and he would pray in them. In another narration, she said: I used to, if it was dry, scrape it off his clothes with my nail.

Both of these hadth are related in Sahh Muslim. The first narration is also related in Sunan al-Tirmidh, Sunan Ab Dwd, Sunan al-Nas, Sunan Ibn Mjah, Sunan al-Bayhaq, Sunan al-Draqutn, and other sources.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first opinion is that semen is impure and must be removed from a persons clothing and body before that person can pray. This is the verdict of the Mlik and Hanaf schools of thought. It is also one of Ahmad b. Hanbals opinions and the preferred view of al-Shawkn.

They also argue that the ejaculation of semen places a person in a state of major ritual impurity whereby that person is required to take a full bath. Any substance that causes a person to enter into a state of ritual impurity if it comes out of a persons body should be considered a physically impure substance.

The second opinion put forward by scholars about semen is that it is a pure substance. This is the position of the Shfi` school of thought. It is the more accurate of the two opinions attributed to Ahmad. It is also the view held by Ahl al-Hadth and by the Zhir school of thought. A number of Companions held this view, as stated by al-Nawaw in his commentary on Sahh Muslim. It is also the preferred opinion of Ibn Taymiyah, Ibn al-Qayym, al-San`n, and others.

They cite the hadth of `Aishah that is under discussion, where she says that she rubbed or scraped the semen off his clothing and he would pray in it. They argue that if semen were impure, it would not be sufficient to merely rub or scrape it off. Even after it had dried, merely scraping it off would not remove the semen that had been absorbed by the fibers of the clothing. Therefore, scraping it off when it is dry and likewise washing it off while it is still moist must be merely a preferable act of cleanliness and not a required act of purification.

Ibn Khuzaymah also cites the hadth of `’ishah as proof that semen is a pure substance. He writes: If something is impure, scratching it off of clothing without washing it will not be sufficient for its removal. The fact that the Prophet (peace be upon him) prayed in a garment from which dry semen was merely scratched off is sufficient proof that semen is not something impure. [Sahh Ibn Khuzaymah (1/145-147)]

here is where I found this info: http://www.islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?cat_id=33&sub_cat_id=646 - http://www.islamtoday.com/showme2.cfm?cat_id=33&sub_cat_ id=646

So even the scholars differ....( from how I read it.)

no matter how you look at it though, the prophet Mohammed (p.b.u.h)  did not perform any religious acts while being 'soiled' with semen.

Me personally, I want to be clean regardless if i'm performing a salat, reading the Quran or not. If i'm in a sexual act and semen gets on my body then, yes I can perform wudu/ghursl afterwards.

But what can be done once it's swallowed?? Ok, you could rinse your mouth out, but what about whats actually goes beyond the throat?? ( sorry for going into detail, but we are all adults here- my intentions are not to offend anyone and right now I'm speaking on simply matter of opinion.)

I guess one can say, well semen goes inside a womans body through the vagina?! but this to me is a more nature act, it is required to reproduce. Also if a woman chooses to she can douche afterwards to clean her 'insides'.

salaam.






Posted By: Nur_Ilahi
Date Posted: 02 February 2008 at 7:18pm

It is sad to say that we humankind globally had been hijacked into thinking that sex should be put onto a pedestal. In other words life revolves around sex. I said this because it is not only in the west but sadly in the east here too. Everywhere sex is offered so cheaply whether discreetly or blatantly.

In order to find peace physically and spiritually,  one needs to know the meaning of life. The reason why we are here in this world.  Sex is definitely not one of them. Thinking about sex all the time, means we are forgetting zikrullah. (remembrance of Allah).

 

Man has two souls. One is called Ruh al Hayvani, the animal soul, and the other is Ruh al Insani, the human soul. The animal soul is a created, refined substance that controls life, mind, senses, feelings, emotions, will, and movement of the physical body. And our being, which relates to this animal soul, is called the "animal self," the self ruled by the desires of our flesh or Nafs al Ammarah, the evil commanding self which is the first and lowest of the seven levels of being.

 

Nafs al Ammara is a manifestation of the animal soul in man, while the six steps above the evil commanding ego are the development of the human soul, which is also called the Nafs an Natiqah, the being who can communicate with speech, or the Rational Being.

 

The next six levels are:

 

    * Nafs al Lawwamah, when man hears the voice of his conscience and tries to resist his carnal desires;

    * Nafs al Mulhimah, when man receives direct instructions through inspirations from his Lord;

    * Nafs al Mutmainnah, when man is freed of self-indulgence and finds peace and tranquility in his state of piety and obedience to his Lord;

    * Nafs ar Radiyyah, when man accepts all that happens to him without any resentment or pain, and when good and bad become equal to him, and he is pleased with his lot;

    * Nafs al Mardiyyah when man assumes the Divine Attributes, leaving his materiality, and

    * Nafs as Safiyyah, when man reaches the purity of perfect harmony.

 

 Nafs al Ammarah

 

In this first level of the development of man, the rational self and human conscience have been defeated by lust and carnal desires. At this stage, our self does not recognize any rational or moral barriers to get what it wants. It expresses itself in selfishness, arrogance, ambition, stinginess, envy, anger, cynicism, laziness and st**idity. Originally, nafs, one's self, identity, ones own personality and reality, is one of the Creator's gifts to man. But because we allow it to lean towards material values, to take pleasure only in worldly life, and because we succumb to fleshly lusts, it has turned ugly and become almost animal-like, while its shape remains that of a human being.  It is a fauve camouflaged in the appearance of man, a mad wild animal which bites and claws itself as well as others. This ego is our private devil, our worst enemy, who is living inside us, dominating and tyrannizing us and keeping our human soul imprisoned and forgotten in the depths of our subconscious.

http://www.crescentlife.com/spirituality/seven_levels.htm - http://www.crescentlife.com/spirituality/seven_levels.htm

 

So let us wives/husbands purify ourselves from this lowly nafs and reject what is not taught by our beloved Prophet Rasulullah s.a.w.

 

Ameen..



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Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.


Posted By: Israfil
Date Posted: 03 February 2008 at 8:53am

Nur chill out. You are obviously overdoing it here. The reason we are talking about sex is the quite obviously the title of the thread.

 I agree somewhat with layalee's interpretation.

I have to disagree with the scholar interpretation: Semen is not a "dirty" substance. First we need to understand what we mjind by dirty and second unless it contains a viral infection it cannot be labeled other than being called a "substance." Now in maintain hygeine before prayer I agree that we need to cleanse ourselves after every sexual act as our bodies not only excrete seminal (and vaginal) fluids but also sweat, heat, and gases. Oral sex may not be what we consider "natural intercourse" it is more so aligned with being another form of pleasure.



Posted By: Nur_Ilahi
Date Posted: 04 February 2008 at 5:59am

But Israfil,

Truly I find it disgusting. Pure sex is so much pleasurable if both husband and wife respect each other. By doing that kind of thing, we are putting ourselves in the same position of an animal. (sorry - I do not mean to be rude). If a man loves and respects his wife, if a Muslim man wants to be the best husband, he should look up to Muhammad - the best example of a husband, the best example of a human being infact!.

I purposely added the spiritual side of Islam where nafs (lust/passion/desire) is concerned. as I believe more and more Muslims are forgetting that we are Muslims, we do have our guidelines to follow, if we want the best place in the hereafter.

 



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Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.


Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 04 February 2008 at 7:45am

Well, this topic and the replies go backwards and forwards.

Sex is not disgusting. The only sexual act not permitted in Islam is anal sex. Everything else is allowed.

As to whether sisters like to perform oral sex on their husband is an entirely different issue. But one thing I will say sisters, is that all men like women to perform oral sex on them. That goes for muslim husbands too. The man however does not always like to return the favour. Strange but true.

Nur_Ilahi, you said that sex is a pleasurable act, that you personally find oral sex disgusting. That is your choice. Are you married? If not then you might change your view on this one day. You also posted that men should look up to the Prophet Muhammed(pbuH). I totally agree, but how do you know what sexual act took place between our beloved Prophet and his wives(peace be upon them all)?

I have total love and respect for the Prophet Muhammed(pbuH), dont anyone suggest I feel otherwise, but this topic if it is to be discussed, should include all men, even our dear Prophet. If you dont agree, then really this topic should not be discussed at all. He was a man after all,a very busy man. Can anyone imagine how difficult it might have been for him to satisfy his wives?

Lust/passion/desire-nothing wrong with it in the boundaries of a marriage. We are human beings, and as such courtship and sexual intimacy is extremely important. If it were not so, then we would be like the animals where no feelings take place. For them it is only an act to reproduce. Allah gave us these passions to use in the correct manner.

Personally I think there are a lot of naive women in the world.

 



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some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set


Posted By: Israfil
Date Posted: 04 February 2008 at 7:59am

Nur_Illahi, no offense but you sound like the conservative Arabs I know.

Most conservative Arabs culturally, find discussing sex openly a taboo whereas us yankees don't care. I guess its those cultural differences that separates us. In a similar fashion echoing what Martha said, what you feel about oral sex is different from other couples and I don't see how such an act is a violation of Islam or Islamic obligations. If you have two couples involved in sexual intercourse in the privacy of their home and their intent was pleasing each other there is nothing wrong. On a professional level, there is nothing wrong with both partners getting involed in sexual intercourse orally so ling as boh couples remain hygenic and are STD free.

You mention that oral sex puts us at the level of animals. No offense (since you have formal education as you say) we are animals just a higher intellectual capacity. Also, we are the only creatures on this planet that has oral sex. We (other than Blue whales) are the only mammals known to have sex either strictly for pleasure or for emotional attachment, but I'm not sure if the latter is true for whales. As you may know I'm comfortable with the discussion actually because I pretty much talk about it everyday with professionals and friends alike. Me personally I couldn't deal with a woman who is not comfortable sexually with herself because that may be problematic when it comes to sexual romance.Super duper religious women need to chill out.



Posted By: peacemaker
Date Posted: 04 February 2008 at 1:41pm

Assalamu Alaikum,

It is important to note that modesty is an important aspect in Islam. In a mixed gathering such as the one at the forum, such topics should be discussed privately with someone who can help one understand; doing so publicly constitutes violation of the guidelines.

1. We manage here an Islamic discussion board, thus all members are requested to maintain the decorum, as per the standards of an Islamic cultural society. Any joke or casual statement which the moderators find insensitive may result in editing or deletion. Since this is an Islamic site, utmost importance and respect is to be given to the teachings of Islam, which include the Quran and Hadith.

17. Materials that are explicit in nature or pertaining to sexuality will not be tolerated - even when the purpose is genuine.

http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=4589&PN=1 - Guidelines

May Allah guide us all.

Peace



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Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13



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