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Problems...I need help.

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Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups Men (Brothers)
Forum Discription: Groups Men (Brothers)
Printed Date: 23 May 2018 at 1:16pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 8.04 -

Topic: Problems...I need help.
Posted By: seekinglight
Subject: Problems...I need help.
Date Posted: 28 September 2007 at 5:36am

As salaam u Alaikum Wa Rehmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu,

Ramadhan Mubarak to everyone of you.

         I am writing this post to find some knowledgeable and wise brothers in Islam to help me with my plight. I am 28 years old, and employed with an MNC as a Software Consultant. I have no problems regards to my job or my family or anybody.

         Basica lly, I find it very hard to express my emotions, and am very moody. I generally try not to be so. I am very sad faced all the time, and I have no control over this behaviour. Although, I know this happens to me, I really can't control these mood fluctuations, and my inconsistent behaviour. I see that I have a huge problem with focusing, and not able to maintain high concentration levels to complete any task. I am survived by my mother and 4 siblings of which I am the youngest. My Dad passed away when I was 12. Although, I feel a void, I still don't tend to sympathize with myself, since, I see there are a lot many people in a worse situation than I am in, financially, and psychologically.  But, this even does not seem to work, as there is always something irritating me at the back of my mind, and no matter how much I try to improve myself, I still have clouded, unclear, and confused thinking patterns. I don't see myself, thinking very clearly, and see that I am very impulsive, and very hyper-tensive. I really don't know how to be psychologically under control about my emotions, and improve my mindset to living. Can any one help me.



Cleansing oneself.

Posted By: Megatron
Date Posted: 30 September 2007 at 12:45pm

Hello Owais,

You are very brave for being so candid about your problems.  It takes a strong person to admit their faults.  I have a background in psychiatry and maybe I can help.  It sounds to me like you suffer from depression, however, when you talk about mood fluctuations you could have bipolar disorder.  Bipolar disorder is like depression however, unlike depression, there are instances where you feel "on-top of the world", extremely happy, however, you make decisions which are harmful. (Eg.  Buying expensive items, flying to another country etc.) 

In both instances, you should seek help from a psychiatrist.  They can sit down with you and properly diagnose your problem.  Solving psychological problems often involves sessions of psychotherapy if you are suffering from mild depression.  Moderate to severe depression often involves a combination of psychotherapy and medications.

I must stress that prayer is an important addition to this treatment.  Many studies have found that prayer has a profound psychologicaly impact on people.  Pray in tandem with any treatment offered by your psychiatrist.

Also realize that you should not understate this problem because others are worse off than you.  Your emotional well-being is important and will allow you to help those less fortunate than yourself.

I hope my advice is helpful. My prayers will be with you my brother.


Posted By: seekinglight
Date Posted: 30 September 2007 at 2:47pm

Dear Brother,

      Thank you very much for your reply. I needed someone to discuss my thoughts and issues. You know, I am not doing that badly as a person. The stuff that irritates me is that I don't live a normal life. I've got a bad history running in my family, and not sure, how I can help solve this. I have 4 siblings, 38, 35, 31, 28. The first one is married, and not able to conceive yet, and she studied medicine but never pursued working. The one who is 35, working as an engineer, is not married yet, and has a debilitating problem called myasthenia gravis, because of which he is on steriodal medication for the past 18 years. The one who is 31, is still pursuing dental studies, is also not married, and still not started working. Then, I am survived by my mother. The problem is that everyone has his own version of how life should be lived, and each of the keep blaming each other for existing problems, and these discussions, never end. I kind of feel like running away from them, cause I can't take this emotional blaming, and struggle, as this influences my goal setting for my career. There is money involved in every transaction of live you know. I can't see anyone satisfied with what they have at the moment, and keep desiring for better houses, cars, more money, and all the stuff. The point is I am fed up. I can't as a younger one keep listening to these kind of things from my elders. Sometimes, I wish I could earn this money by illegal means, and just satisfy the desire of my elders, just so that I can live a life where I don't hear any more needs. I just can't keep up with the demands of daily life. I wonder, i could even get married at this rate, cause, I feel I need someone to love me, but even that is marred by the fact that, everyone has their version of who i should be marrying, and the people who want to give their daughter in marriage want to know the amount of wealth accumulated before they could give away their daughter in marriage. After all of this, I just see no hope. I know that committing suicide will have consequences, in the hereafter, and for those whom i leave behind who depend on me. Everything is happening late in the family, and I really don't feel like discussing any thing with anyone among my family members, cause, I just have to listen to their plans all the time. And, at the moment I can't, cause, I have a life of my own to take care of. Of course, I can take care of my mother, but I can't listen to every one's never ending problems. I see myself distancing myself from all my sibling as the years passby. I just don't know what to do. If i need to concentrate on life, and career, I just feel that getting away from emotional bonds, ties, and blame game is the best thing to do. But, no one really understands this. You know I am very confused, about all of this. If only my brothers were to be married at the right time, and earning at the right time, would I be more happy. But, this thing seems to drag endlessly. It's all about money, dream houses, pride and etc...dear brother. I can't really keep these things under control, and it makes me very impulsive, as I cannot, earn for those who have brains, eyes, etc...which God has given equally. I really can't comprehend life sometimes, cause it feels like, why was i born in the first place. I just don't like to see things like these happen all the time. It seems like a never ending story, and it is very frustrating to the core. And, I can do nothing but simply see what is happening numbly. I just feel like i've got no emotions left, and that I am a useless piece of life, that i can't elevate and remove all the problems. I just wish I had the power to do so, brother. I just wish i had it.

Cleansing oneself.

Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 25 August 2009 at 12:47pm


i saw your post and fund it great and also found that you have some knowledge of psychiatry.i have question,have heard about a case in which women get bad smell from her husband when he approach her for sex only,the husband is hygeninc and has no body odor.but she feels when he approach for sex.

Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 05 September 2009 at 9:16am
Salams,seekinglight and fais.Welcome to the forum.Ramadan Mubarak.Speeking of Ramadan brother you are not alone in feeling irritable I think we all share your feeling at leased in this month.We are tested in so many ways trying to control or avoid not arguing,swearing,eating,sex, ect basicly look at this all Muslims at this time are resisting are urges.How long have you been going through this?Yourself and a sibbling are both 28?MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU BROTHER,MAY ALLAH STRENGHTHEN YOUR IMAN.Turn to Allah for your problems    read your Qur'an everything and anything is in there it is your refuge from this dunya and shayton it seems that you are weak in faith and shayton is working on you, seek refuge in Allah.Brother Allah Loves you and so do all your Muslim brothers we love you for Allahs sake,and we want for you what we would want for ourselves,AL HAMDUILLAH,AL HAMDUILLAH,AL HAMDUILLAH.What ever your situation,you work,you have family all Muslim,you are striving to do your best to please Allah,AL HAMDUILLAH!Your not dodging bullets you are not being oppressed just depressed, you can walk, help your family and give sadaqa, your not starving(with exception for Ramadan )smile brother you have alot to be thankfull for,suicide is not an option dont even think about it,talk to your family about your problems for a change,when you feel stressed or impulsive pray and dhiker Allah, read the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.May Allah Bless you to find a wife.Try to keep in touch Ahki(InshAllah Ta ala)

Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 05 September 2009 at 9:36am
Salams,seekinglight.O' my Allah! Thou art the most attached to Thy lovers and the most ready to assist those who trust in Thee. Thou seest them in their concealment, knowest whatever is in their consciences, and art aware of the extent of their intelligence. Consequently, their secrets are open to Thee and their hearts are eager from Thee. If loneliness bores them, Thy remembrance gives them solace. If distresses befall them, they beseech Thy protection, because they know that the reins of affairs are in Thy hands, and that their movements depend upon Thy commands .

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