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Groups – Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: online marriage...any thoughts??? Post Reply Post New Topic
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babysteps
 
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Quote babysteps Replybullet Topic: online marriage...any thoughts???
    Posted: 02 August 2007 at 12:08pm

Salam brothers! This is a topic I posted in the sisters forum and I wanted to see if there were any differing opinions here:

 

Online Islamic Matrimonial Services….acceptable? why or why not? Perhaps you feel it is acceptable with limitations? If so, what guidelines would you recommend for someone using the service? Are you completely against it? Have you, or anyone you know, had any experiences with these services?

 

Note that this is just asking for an opinion and all responses are welcome. If anyone has a statement from a scholar or sheikh, etc. feel free to post it as well.

 

Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon.

Salam.

..babysteps..

 

P.S. I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to post in the brothers forum, since I’m a sister, but I really want to hear your opinions. If anyone knows that I’m not allowed please inform me so I can delete it…thank you :)

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isslam
 
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Quote isslam Replybullet Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:08pm
baby steps peace be with you- do you want to marry someone you do not know? if so and the brother is a practicing muslim then your decision should be from your heart. may allah guide you to the answers and may your marriage be blessed with lots of healthy children masalama
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isslam
 
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Quote isslam Replybullet Posted: 03 August 2007 at 9:09pm
also being a sister does not matter where u ask questions you are from allah and can ask questions anywhere u feel comfortable- masalama
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babysteps
 
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Quote babysteps Replybullet Posted: 06 August 2007 at 4:08pm

Thank you brother, for the reply. To anyone interested I found some more information regarding the issue of online matrimonial services on this website that I posted for the sisters a couple days ago. I also urge those interested to check out the sisters forum on this topic...I felt it was a very enlightening conversation, alhamdulilah.

Under the Q&A (ask the Imam) section on this website I found the following response to a gentlemen’s concern about an online relationship: If indeed marriage is the goal, then there is nothing to be ashamed of or to keep secret if you follow the certain guidelines. By this we mean: 1-You have the true and sincere intention to marry her and you are communicating with her only to get to know her better. 2-Your communication with her is kept at an extreme level of respect and morals. 3-It is advisable to meet her personally with the presence of someone (you should not be alone with her) to follow the advice of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) who said in the Hadith, the meaning of which is that a Muslim should look at the person he wants to marry, for it may generate the feelings of closeness and gentleness between them. and 4-You should not delay the marriage too long. Thank you for asking and Allah knows best.

Another guideline was added in a separate response: You should inform your parents about what is happening with you.

Additionally: If the prospective partner is of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and the two young people are happy and feel compatible with one another, other considerations [ethnicity, occupation, etc.] are not of such importance. 

Inshallah this helps others as it has helped me set some things straight. I still have many things to consider before I make any decisions but this kind of summarizes the guidelines that were discussed in the sisters forum.

If any other ideas/thoughts/questions about this topic come to mind please do not hesitate to make a post!

Salam.

..babysteps..

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Salih88
 
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Quote Salih88 Replybullet Posted: 16 September 2007 at 11:34pm

 Asalamu Alaikum,

I think that as long as the conversations and interactions are done in a permissable manner finding a spouse on the internet is okay. One point I would make is that it would be better to marry within your own community. When there is someone in a community who you may be interested in, if he or she is a good Muslim, it's most likely people will know them and be able to give you insite to the real character of the individual. You can find out about people on the internet but it's not as easy as it would be when someone has lived in a community and interacted with people you know. Whatever you choose may Allah make you successful.

"Be patient over what they say and remember Our servant, Dawud, the possessor of strenght; indeed, he was one who repeatedly turned back[to Allah]" Surah Sad- Ayat 17
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