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Introduction: Who am I?
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : General : Introduction: Who am I?
Message Icon Topic: New to Islam and new to the Forum Post Reply Post New Topic
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Soraya
 
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Quote Soraya Replybullet Topic: New to Islam and new to the Forum
    Posted: 06 October 2006 at 8:12pm

As-salaamu Alaikum everyone and Ramadan Mubarak,

I am a new Muslim and new to this forum. I converted on June 8th this year and mine was a 20 year journey of unanswered questions and doubts. One day Allah decided it was time for me to come to Islam. He brought people into my life that shared Islam with me and I realized that I was always a Muslim and never realized it. I have no regrets, I have found a peace in my heart that I never imaged could be possible. I was always lonely even if I was with people, there was always an emptiness in my heart, now my life is different... But, even if I am happy, I am having some struggles

I am struggling with telling members of my family and friends that I have converted and about wearing the hijab. I wear it when I go to the Mosque but am having a problem making a commitment to wearing it all the time. I am struggling with the fact that someone I know will see me and reject me.  I sometimes wear it to go out in public to get used to it but then some tell me it is a sin to just wear it sometimes. Then again another tells me that because I am 50 I don't have to wear it... So confused...Also, does this mean that I cannot celebrate Christmas or Easter with them. I realize that I cannot celebrate in the religious way but how about just the fun of it?  I also have another "fear" to discuss but will keep that till later... wouldn't to scare anyone away lol...

I could use all the the help and advice I can get lol...

 

Soraya
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Munavar
 
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Quote Munavar Replybullet Posted: 06 October 2006 at 10:32pm

Dear Sister,

Assalam-o-alai-kum,

Congratulations on reverting to Islam (as every human being is a born Muslim but gets diverted for different reasons, you have reverted back to the truth).

May Allah bless you!!

Sister, Allah says in the Quran that he will forgive any sin except the sin of associating partners with him (Shirk), which is the biggest crime in Islam.

Alhamdollillah, Allah has already saved you from the biggest sin.

So every other command of Allah will slowly fall in place, Inshaallah so do not loose hope and get worried. Allah is the  most merciful.

As every muslim is not 100% so you start doing whatever you can and Allah will open ways for you.

There are categories of actions in Islam

Obligatory, Highly Recommended, Permissiable, Discouraged, Prohibited.

Thus, you should try to concentrate on them accordingly

With regards to the Hijab: -

Practically Hijab has six criterias -

The clothes should be loose so that they do not reveal the figure, It should not be so glamourous that it attracts the opposite sex, It should cover the entire body except the hands upto the wrist, ankles and face, It should not resemble the unbeliever (comprising symbols of other religions like cross, etc), It should not resemble the opposite sex (jeans, pants, etc)

So first step is that your clothes follow the above criterias.

Wearing an overcoat (burkha) is the next step and covering the face is optional according to many scholars.

Do not worry about people rejecting you as Allah as already accepted you and that's the most important thing and believe in Allah it will be fine. Allah will help you.

All your problems will be solved once you start doing Dawah (i.e. inviting your friends and family towards Islam intellectually - Propogation of Faith). This is a promise of Allah in the Quran.

Although commemorating the Christian festivals is not prohibited in totality (as we also have holidays, otherwise we will have to work on Christmas, Easter, etc !!) but celebrating them would be incorrect.

So you can use these festivals and other such occassions as an opportunity to do Dawah.

Visit - http://wings.buffalo.edu/sa/muslim/library/jesus-say/content s.html - Use this as a toolkit. But remember you have to win them over and not loose them.

You can announce your faith once you are more confident about answering most of the common questions posed against Islam.

Thus, their resistance will slowly turn into passive resistance as they will not be able to point out errors in your judgement and decision, (if you arm yourself intellectually, which is highly desirable in Islam).

And slowly they'll start seeing your point and Inshaallah they will also accept Islam. It has happened before so believe in Allah.

Optimism is the best character in Islam.

May Allah give you courage and intellect.

Take your time and be patient

Allah hafiz

Munavar

Brother in Islam (attarimunavar@rediffmail.com)

 

 

 

 

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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 07 October 2006 at 6:38am

Assalamu alaikum Sister Soraya,

I wish to give you a different perspective from the above poster.  I am sure he/she meant well and I certainly don't mean to ridicule the kind advice given, but not all Muslims are familiar with the circumstances of reverts living in the west.  I am a revert, a bit older than you and I wear hijab (just so you know where I am coming from).

As far as celebrating holidays with family, there is no harm in doing so as long as you don't participate in any religious parts and stay away from those things we Muslims are to avoid (ie. pork, alcohol).  Islam places a great deal of emphasis on keeping the ties of kinship and being kind and respectful to our parents!  Of course it would break our parents hearts if we refused to celebrate their special holidays with them!  So, be mindful of your Islamic principles (it is always a good opportunity for daw'ah!) and bring nice gifts for your parents and celebrate with them!

As for telling people about your reversion, Sister, my best advice to you is that anyone who would reject you after finding out was not worth the friendship in the first place!  I lost many friends when I became a Muslim, but Allah, in His Mercy has given me even better Muslim friends!  It took a while, be patient.

Take your time, step by step, with what you are ready to do as a Muslim.  I don't believe our Loving Creator expects us to suddenly become perfect Muslims overnight!  Work on things as you are feeling them in your heart, pray, read Qur'an and step into new Islamic things when the confidence to do so is felt.

Many reverts have problems with their families...be patient, believe me, in time they will see that Islam has made you a better daughter, sister, friend...and they will learn to be happy for you (even if they never agree with your choice).

Sister, please feel free to PM me if you wish to talk some more - just push the PM button at the bottom of my post!

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Munavar
 
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Quote Munavar Replybullet Posted: 08 October 2006 at 9:54pm

 

Dea Ummziba,

Assalamoalaikum,

First of all I would like to apologize for any un-islamic advice that I may have given.

However, I have expounded 3 points in my mail

1.) Criterias for Hijab - 2.) Dawah - 3) Festivals

As far as the first is concerned I already mentioned that covering the face is optional according to many scholars. However, I no where said that a women should not wear a hijaab.

Secondly, for a revert Dawah, is the only hope to respond to friends and family. Especially in today's times, revert or a born-muslim, his/her survival depends upon Dawah (i.e. propogation of your faith)

With regards to Festivals, I did say that you cannot celebrate but you can witness and use this as opportunities to clarify misconceptions of all kinds about Islam and Christianity. Eg. Pork is also banned in the Bible in the Book of Leviticus.

However, while explaining and defending your decision, you cannot be rude to parents at any cost even if they are unbelievers. But, inviting them towards Islam cannot be overlooked.

Please feel free to critisize or point out any further error in my opinion

Jazaak Allah

Munavar, Brother in Islam (attarimunavar@rediffmail.com)

 

 

 

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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2006 at 4:35am

Wa alaikum salam Brother Munavar,

Indeed your advice is all good - the only point I wished to correct was where you said celebrating Christian festivals would be incorrect.  Your clarification shows me that we are both saying the same thing in a different way!  I just wanted to be sure the Sister knew it is all right to be with her family when they celebrate their holidays, this can be a very sore point with new Muslims.

Thank you for clarifying what you were trying to get across.

Ramadhan Mubarak.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Soraya
 
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Quote Soraya Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2006 at 11:19am

Assalamu alaikum Ummziba & Munavar,

Thank you so much for your replies. I enjoy discussions like this, help to see how different people explain things. Both your replies have helped me tremendeously. However, I do have another question. Would you please explain to me what is "Dawah" and how is it done?

Peace,

Soraya

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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2006 at 1:46pm

Wa alaikum salam Sister Soraya,

Dawah literally means "call" in Arabic.  It refers to calling people to the truth of Islam through our good example and by telling them what we can about our faith.

You might find this link very helpful:

http://www.islamic-dictionary.com/

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Munavar
 
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Quote Munavar Replybullet Posted: 10 October 2006 at 12:12am

Assalaamalaikum,

Dawah is a 'call' as rightly pointed out by sister ummziba

Being a student of Comparative Religion, I will elaborate on the aspect a little bit more...

If you read the Holy Quran (english translation), you will notice that nearly 1/3 of the Quran is addressed to the Jews & Christians.

They are referred to as the "People of the Book", (Comprising - Jews,  Jews who became Christians & Gentiles who accepted Chrisianity) who recieved a divine revelation (Torah & Gospel) before the Arabs recieved the Quran.

It is our duty to deliver the complete and un-corrupted message of the Quran to them...

Dawah is a process of inviting all non-muslims, especially the Jews & Christians towards Islam. It is obligatory on every Muslim to do Dawah according to his/her own intellectual capacity.

Dawah serves 3 purposes: -

1.) Defending Islam against allegations and false propoganda

2.) Inviting all towards the religion of truth i.e. Islam

3.) Personal Salvation & betterment

Sister, let me give you a small example: -

Someone verbally attacks you saying 'who will now pay for your sins?', or 'you have joined the terrorists', 'Islam supresses the women - you will have a tough time', or someone maligns the Prophet saying  'you know how many times he married?', etc etc

It can be very frustating and depressing if you cannot reply back satisfactorily and it can be worse if they are successful in making you re-think about your decision or create doubts in your own mind.

Further, as your loved ones' are amongst them, it is your duty to save them also from the Hell fire, which is only possible by correctly presenting the case of Islam.

Its only Dawah that can save not only you but the entire Muslim world in today's hostile times.

Sister, I promise you if you spend sometime and learn a few things there is not a Christian (or any non-muslim) born that can stand before you (not even the Pope !!)

And I mean this in the most humble manner...

Inshallah (by Allah's will), you will do a good job and I will consider myself extreamly fortunate if I can provide any assistance to you...

Allah hafiz

Munavar (attarimunavar@rediffmail.com)

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