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Basics of Islam
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Message Icon Topic: Does Islam Look bad in Polygamy? Post Reply Post New Topic
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UmmTaaha
 
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Quote UmmTaaha Replybullet Topic: Does Islam Look bad in Polygamy?
    Posted: 03 October 2006 at 10:48pm

I saw a comment in one of the sections which says Islam looks bad if muslims practice polygamy in the west.

This note is an objection to that comment.

Polygamy is made permissible by Allah. Something to which allah has given permission, should it become a reason for Islam to look bad?

What islam is it that looks bad under the permissions, wisdoms, and mercies of Allah?

What Islam do we follow? Is it of our whims and comforts, or the Islam that Allah and His rasul has ordained on us?

Did rasul allah sallallahu alaihe wassallam not take 11 wives? Is it that this aspect of his (saw) life makes islam look bad ?? nauzubillah!! He (saw) was the best in character and behaviour. It is reported through our mother Aysha (ra) that his (saw) character was the Quran. He (saw) lived in a polygamous situation.  Did the one (saw) whose character was Quran made islam look bad by taking multiple wives?

Polygamy is illegal in the west, but homosexuality is not. Is this not a joke in itself??

Allah forbids homosexuality however the west does not shy from it. Allah forbids fornication and adultery, and the west does not shy from that either. In the west they have common law partners, and that does not infringe upon their rights as a human being ... and all of this is okay (?) But polygamous practices should generate intolerance between the adherents of faith?  

Where are we comming from if we have intolerence towards muslims for reason that are clearly acceptable in Islam!!

Another thing that should be pointed out is, Islam is the deen of Allah. Nobody can make it look bad or look good. It is the decree of Allah and Allah is free of any need. Muslims by some of their activities may make themselves look bad, but they cannot marr Islam.  

I do not deny muslim men have married in the west sometimes for all wrong reasons. However may the person giving out such a comment as above be reminded, men have married and used women in the west even in a mongamous situation. They have used women for resident status, money, security and all that which a man may be accused of doing in a polygamous relationship.  However polygamy or for that matter marriage in Islam is not meant for any of this. As a muslim one has a duty to object to these practices, but not through having intolerance.  Muslim community should be like one body, so if there is evil in any part of the society, strong steps are needed to correct it.

The one who is intolerant towards muslim men who may be in a polygamous situation due to a genuine reason, has allianated himself/herself from the community. There is a reward in all permissible actions if the intentions behind those are pure, and allah looks upon this person with a gaze of mercy, so being intolerent to them is an error!!

 



Edited by UmmTaaha
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superme
 
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Quote superme Replybullet Posted: 03 October 2006 at 11:08pm

Marriage is a noble act which is also part of life. Children are the result of this act and from this human existance sustained or even growing. Polygyny is an act of necessaty when the number of men are lower than th females. When a wife lost the husband for any reason it is a noble act for a married man to marry the lonely and the needy widow instead of making du'a and debating about them because the old opinion said so. These the voices of old are need to be rectified. Just like the law in the OT which forbid the flesh of camels. Camels were very valuable animals for transportation need, and it was not wise to use them as food consumption, just like the cows in India in the past. But when the number of camels were reasonably high than it was allowed to be consumed as it is written in the Qur'an.

But it is nothing more than greed or lust when having more than one wife when many men struggling to find one. In the end common sense applies.

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rookaiya
 
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Quote rookaiya Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 1:47am

if the above is correct, then what about taqdeer. are our lives not pre determined by Allah SWA. Dont all things happen only with the permission of Allah SWA. we as human beings have limited knowledge n we may trun away from something which is good for us, n go towrds soemthing which is bad for us. Hence Allah SWA knows best concerning us.

we should not be rebellious and arrogant and fool ourselves into thinking that we are in control, as Allah SWA is the best of planners. in wahtever we do, we should never froget that in the end it is the will of Allah that will prevail

just my understanding. hope i havent offended anyone

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fatima
 
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Quote fatima Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 3:59am

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaikum

There are so many things that people would say that causes a shame to them, its just that our understanding falls short not that particular law. Because those beautifull laws are made by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and nothing less of perfect comes from our Lord.

I have noticed that us muslims have made a habbit that things we dont understand we call it not necessary to believe if we dont want to. I dont even think that wanting another wife is only allowed in necessaty, ayah of Holy Quran uses words which means like a women not need another women. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has made nature of men and women different. A women when she gets married and have kids with some1, keeping in mind that according to islam she dint have no relationship before that, she makes a special bond and love for her husband and father of her kids. Unless he treats her unjust there is very less chance that she would want to look some where else. A man however is different, i am not trying to say he looks for some1 else but even though he is in a blissful marriage, he could still like another lady. In this case it is permitted that he gives his likeness a halal form and thats all Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is allowing. But if you look at the ayaat then scholars say that emphasis in those ayaat is not having more than one but it emphasizes one but allows more.

At end of the day sister we are being unjust to our own soul by trying to make excuses because if we sincerely want to learn and understand some thing all we need is to ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for better understanding. And believe me He is so Mercifull that He hates to send us back empty handed.

wassalam

Say: (O Muhammad) If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, MercifuL
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rookaiya
 
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Quote rookaiya Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 4:06am
sister FATIMA Please elaborate . i have read your post 3 times but i cant understand what u saying. can u please rephrase if u dont mind.
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fatima
 
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Quote fatima Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 5:11am

 which part?

Say: (O Muhammad) If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your faults, and Allah is Forgiving, MercifuL
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rookaiya
 
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Quote rookaiya Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 5:41am

the part abt a habitat of things we dont understand? what things are u referring to here?

then the part abt women not needing another women?

its just that i became confused on reading this post.

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Angela
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Quote Angela Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2006 at 9:05am

If I may join this discussion.  It is one that has affected my church (the Mormons) for many years.  The anti polygamy laws that are in place in the United States are a direct result of the persecution of my people.  We resisted for many years, but eventually, the United States government threatened to take our Temples, homes and farms if we did not end the Practice.  The President of our Church at the time prayed what to do about it and the Lord commanded us to obey the law and protect out temples.

Many of these marriages were not "paper" marriages, meaning there was only a religious ceremony and no registration with the government.  The same is the case with the Fundamentalists in Southern Utah and Northern Arizona.  They only marry one wife legally and the others spiritually.  But, legally, they can still be prosecuted under the law. 

They teach that polygamy is a requirement of men.  From what I understand in Islam, a man is not required to take more than one wife.  He's actually commanded not to unless they can treat all their wives equally. 

The question becomes, is a man treating his wives equally if the family becomes in jeopardy by the breaking of the law.  According to US inheritance laws (which are far from Islamic) and other laws, Polygamous wives would not get social security benefits from their husbands, health insurance or legal protection in the case of a divorce because she's not really married.  The courts could not enforce maintenance and property rights would be a real issue.

Also, the second wife would not be recognized as legally his wife.  Although the Islamic community might see them as married, the rest would not.  Her children would be in a purely legal term, illegitimate, and she would face social stigma.  Is this far to her? 

What would be the need for a woman to live like this?  Is it treating her fairly and equally.  If the husband dies, in the US, by default, the first wife would get everything.  This is especially the case if the husband was young and didn't have his will set up properly.  If the first wife despises the second wife (is happens sadly) she could really hurt her co-wife.  Human failings are many.

I wish we could change society that things like polygamy were more accepted and things like homosexuality were not.  However, the US is a hypocritical government.  They can make no law that favors one religious belief, but yet, they banned polygamy. 

Fundamentalist Mormons occasionally sue for the anti-polygamy laws to be repealed.  The Main Church tried and failed many many many years ago.

If Muslims wish to practice plural marriage, then I really suggest they start challenging the laws.  However, I don't think its fair that even though my faith accepts the practice, that we cannot disrespect the laws of the land and yet, you seem so willing to do so.

If a Muslim man is that desperate for a second wife, perhaps he should rethink living in a place where that is illegal.

This country is disintegrating morally, and we are losing our values.  I really wonder sometimes why people WANT to live here. 



Edited by Angela
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