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Introduction: Who am I?
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : General : Introduction: Who am I?
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Mona_1022
 
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Quote Mona_1022 Replybullet Posted: 24 September 2006 at 10:10pm

I guess I forget that sometimes, we are not perfect and are not expected to be.  But I still need some advice on my situation with my husband.  We did a temporary marriage after he decided to take shahada, but I'm am not sure that he did it with the intention to really become a muslim.  I think it was more because I told him I couldn't be with him since he wasn't muslim.  Is our marriage still valid if that is the case?

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Dzul
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Quote Dzul Replybullet Posted: 25 September 2006 at 6:29pm

Yes, your marriage is still valid since he is a Muslim after he decided to take the shahada.

What you need to do now is to show the true way of Islam. We can never change anyone directly but indirectly we can. What I mean is you have to change to be a better person by being a practical Muslim. Never leave your solat and always dua for your family. InsyAllah everything will be fine.

Muslims have to show our way of life through examples we set across. When your husband sees the inner peace you have by being a Muslim, InsyAllah he will follow. I will remember you in my Dua, sister Mona

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Daniel Dworsky
 
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Quote Daniel Dworsky Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 2:22am
If you love each other your loyalties are to no one else. If your man is willing
to convert for the sake of your religious sensibility this is great. Take it.
No? Why is this so complicated?

Edited by Daniel Dworsky
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lady
 
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 1:02pm
Asalaamu Alaikum Mona.  You are a brave sister.  It is really important that you continue to listen to what Allah (SWA) is saying to you.  Sometimes it is hard to face our reality and to be honest with ourselves.  I am sure that there is more to your story about you and your husband than what you are telling us. The only way you can try to solve a problem is if you aknowledge it. You have aknowlege it and work on solving it, which I am sure you will.  I am a young unmarried american muslim.  I had just turned 27 years old.  I used to live in Kenya for a couple of years as a peace corp volunteer.  Trust me, people are people everywhere you go.  The challenges that you face in the US will be the same oversees.  I think that America is ONE of the best places to practice TRUE Islam.  Alot of people in the world incorporate culture into Islam and they assume that they are truly practicing true Islam.  So if you think that your deen will be well appreciated overseas, then you are misguided.  You need to make an effort to hang out with GOOD muslims.  Righteous Muslims are the best of friends you can ever have.  It is hard not to be affected about your husband who had not shown much interest in Islam.  I am sorry for this but Allah only calls the people to practice whenever HE chooses.  Focuses on practicing the deen then everything else will fall into place.  This does not mean that your life will be stress free.  What this means is that Allah (SWA) will guide you and protect you.  Take care. 
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Quote Sign*Reader Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 5:56pm


Edited by Sign*Reader
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.
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Mona_1022
 
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Quote Mona_1022 Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 8:00pm

My husband's date of birth is 10-15, we are both Libra.  As far as the "new" Islam...like I said in my statement, not that its new for its the same Islam that was introduced 1400 years ago, but my whole understanding of the teachings and expectations of the religion completely changed.  It was as if Allah (SWT) allowed me to view Islam through a new window...one that allowed me to see the way it fits into our lives like a piece of a puzzle.  I used to see Islam as a strict and demanding religion and thought of God as being relentless.  I now know that is not true at all but actually the complete opposite.  The rules that Islam imposes on us is not to keep us in ball and chain but rather to allow us to live life in harmony with one another and fulfill our purpose....i.e....to please Allah and be rewarded with paradise in the afterlife.

As for the the temporary marriage....I was told by that muslim man that I did not need witnesses as a Shia.  The only witness I needed was Allah.  So I went to a Shia website and found the marriage formula and we recited it.  The same for taking Shahada...no witnesses needed...only Allah.  I chose to be Shia on my own by doing the research just as one does when becoming a muslim.  It is not a cult...I believe it is the right sect of Islam. 

I thank everybody for their advice...I feel so much better now.  In a way I feel like Allah (SWT) is letting me know that I'm doing the right thing and that with some time and effort things will go the right way. 

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Dzul
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Quote Dzul Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 9:06pm
Originally posted by Dzul

Yes, your marriage is still valid since he is a Muslim after he decided to take the shahada.

After reading your latest message, I am sorry to say that from the Mazhab I come from (Asy Syafii) your marriage is not valid. Perhaps the other enlightened formumers might explain to you further. 

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Mona_1022
 
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Quote Mona_1022 Replybullet Posted: 28 September 2006 at 10:34pm

Recite The Seegha (Arabic Formula of Words) To Commence The Mutah

You are now ready to recite the Arabic formula of words, which, once completed, means that you two are now halal for each other in the eyes of God and the Law of Islam. Please note that this procedure can be done by the two persons wanting to enter the Mutah marriage themselves. There is no need for a Wakeel (someone who recites the seegha on your behalf) nor the need for witnesses. However you can opt for a Wakeel and you can also opt for witnesses if you so wish. If you like, you could even put this procedure into writing with both your signatures. These are options if you feel you would prefer it that way - however not necessary for your Mutah to be valid.

The seegha is quite short but must be recited in Arabic. Below you will find the Arabic formula written in English transliteration, along with its meaning. There is also a link to an audio file with the vows for the Mutah marriage recited in Arabic. It has been recited slowly with gaps, so you can repeat after it (if you want to). Otherwise you can just use the text below. 

 

The Vows For The Mutah Marriage (.wav file)

 

First the lady says:

Zawajtuka nafsi fil muddatil ma'loomati 'alal mahril ma'loom

Translation: "I married myself to you for the known period and the agreed upon dowry."

 

Then man replies: 

Qabiltu.

Translation: "I accepted."*

 

 

Congratulations! That's it! You are now halal for each other for the time period that you agreed!

 

Best wishes,

The Mutah Matchmaker

Mutah.com

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