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Interfaith Dialogue
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Topic: My Spiritual Crisis
    Posted: 24 June 2006 at 10:51am

It is more evident to me that I perhaps suffer from a crisis of faith, which has lead me to question my own religion. I have been Muslim for about 6 years now and through the years of my study of Islam it appears that in the year 2006 religious confidence has diminished. It seems that I see Islam (as opposed to how I saw it the first time I converted) the same as I see Judaism and Christianity or like the many tens of thousands of other religions. Like so many of you here believe I am perhaps a hypocrite. In some way the comment made by the moderator Mishmish was perhaps true. How can any true observant person be a Muslim if he/she questions the Word of God.

Perhaps subconsciously I do question it. Not because of clarity but because of how its socially interpreted. There is no universal interpretation of the Qur'an that is consistent enough for me to feel confident in. Of course there is, in unison the agreement of the simplistic beliefs however in other areas of interest there are some difference. Among some of my inquiries I feel that Islam is too much intertwined in a culture that is not like my own. For instance the Arabization of Islam. Many Linguist who have mastered Arabic and who are also theologians further extend their claims in the supremacy of the Arabic language by referring from the Hadith as mentioning that "Arabic is the Language of the Angels."

I too also have heard that in the Empyrean, Arabic is the language spoken. The Funny thing about this is that this is similar to what the Jewish Sages have spoken about the Torah. Similar toJudaism about the creation of Angels the Angels were created from the Shekinah or Glory from God. In Islam Angels were created from light--or Nur. I feel that if there is some great distinction within this monotheistic faith there must exist a large gap that exist between itself and from the entire religions on the face of this planet. However as reality notes there isn't.

I feel greatly the sense of isolation between myself and a large group of Muslims because my experience shave lead me to feel this way. First off, the large majority of influential Muslims support their cultures of choice. Not once did I ever see Muslims from any reputable organization come into the African-American community or involve themselves publicly, with any troubled youth nor any inmates in the prison system. I have found much discrimination, not once, not twice, not three times, but multiple times. It is true people have more of an influence on people that scripture has. If you don't believe me then we can find evidence in the actions of several men who drove planes in buildings on 9/11. Of course the Jews did it though right?

I have tried numerous times forcefully tried to reconcile myself with the community and even to the greater extent tried to reconcile the Muslim community with itself. Largely none of you wish to involve yourselves in none of my topics. If one goes back I have posted numerous positive subjects which many of us can be involved in. Of course I get the occasional response of: "Sometimes people don't know what to say" or "Sometimes people show their agreement with what you say by their lack of a response." However in the same instance would automatically input their feelings when we discuss issues with the United States or the War in Iraq or the cartoons.

Goodness here and in the world abroad is not cherished nor "out of the box" thinking is. As I was told not by just the moderators Rami and Peacemaker, but by others that, my ideas and thoughts seen as divisive towards others who are genuinely seeking Islam. So in other words, my logical ideas are basically dangerous which could lead others way basically. However blind as they are do not see that ther comments made against my country and made against so-called Western Muslim would drive away other Muslims.

I extend an apology to all those who see me as a hypocrite. Perhpas I am and perhaps I serve more than anyone else to serve in eternal damnation. You know I have done nothing but try to be the best human being as I can. The one thing I totally dislike about the Muslim community are the fake, conditional gestures. I do not call a Muslim my brother but all human beings because we live in a brotherhood and sisterhood within each other as a species. Unfortunately we have come to the point that we begin to be exclusive to each other because of religious/social influence. I love the peaceful gesture of "As'Salaamu Alaikum" but am tired of the conditional; behavior of Muslims who say to me "I say this as your sister because Allah in the Qur'an has told me so."

So basically if you were to give advice to your brother or sister of blood you will say "I am telling you this because my momma told me" rather saying "I'm telling you this because I sincerely care about your well being." I find the former rather parroting, and insincere. We should be welcoming to all people regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation. That is why I firmly believe that we humans will continuously suffer in ignorance of each other the more we divide ourselves and exclude ourselves.

In regards to Heaven and Hell I firmly believe in their existence however I believe in the opposite of what it is socially thought as. God being so great I cannot first comprehend suffering nor bliss since we humans cannot truthfully imagine the physical sensation of Heaven and Hell. What is the need of boiling hot water poured in the mouth of a liar when the soul is farther away from his Maker? I make a similar argument in my case. I suffer my great loss because my mother is not here and I suffer everyday she is not here with me. So can you imagine the soul that is condemned by his maker? The absence of God's love is the greatest torment so there is no need for fire and boiling water for if God tuns away from you there is no greater pain. If God loves you this is the ultimate bliss because then, you come into the boosom of God's infinity and are one with him.

I can say the only reason why I am still Muslim is the fear that I am wrong.......If I didn't have this fear I would traverse to my original belief, which was a journeyman for God. I cannot in my heart of hearts feel the same way an orthodox Muslim does in viewing people of other faiths. I cannot belief that God would literally hate something in compared to him a microscopic organism, just because they have a religion something in the world so small. I tend to think God made us in many shapes, forms and colors and with many religions for the purpose of involvement with each other as a species knowing that with our growing intelligence it too, can be used to be divisivse, hateful, and spiteful.

I understand that my beliefs ar eperhaps shocking or what not and I expect not much of a response here but this is the honest truth. Everyday I ask God to forgive me if I am wrong but I sincerely feel this way. I have been judged here anyway and never once feel any spiritual connection with any Muslims here. Many of you love to compare my age but at least I show limited intelligence enough to respect people of other faiths, something I find extraordinarily hard for other Muslims to practice. Regardless what I said previously here my faith in God has not been shaken but reminaed firm but I'm should some ignorant fool would reply with an ignorant comment base don what I say here.

I hope what I say here will sink in to the other Muslims in how the are towards so-called "Western Muslims." It is important to know that we as people do in fact make a differenc ein each others lives and its important to have a welcoming attitude to people of all backgrounds. If I'm a hypocrite because I love my fellow brother and sister in my human species then I'm guilty as charged. I would also like to thank Abeer23 for this spiritual ressurection, without her ignorant comments in the other section this would not have been possible. I would like to thank the Moderators and other members for for their comments because it showed me how true the nature of the Muslim community is, today. But perhaps through  the hurtful gestures of others we can learn something.... Since respect here is rare, I'm sure the moderators will evetually close this......Regardless I'm glad I said it here.

 



Edited by Israfil
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Muslima
 
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Quote Muslima Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 11:31am

Brother Israfil,

I am in pain that you are going through this crisis. I would like to say that I know and we all know that you are not a hypocrite.

Brother, I was speaking about this to a friend of mine who knows very very well religion. He said we are all different and when Islam is introduced to a country, people embrace it but they still have their cultures, their traditions, some good, some bad.

You will find conservative people among the Muslim community and you will find liberal people. I have also taken the risk to be treated as a hypocrite. I said I was a leftist. I love travelling and meeting people from all races and cultures. I speak a few languages.

Some other people are different and there may be things about me that you will dislike or even hate, but it does not mean that islam is bad. Your crisis is not a religious one, it is about the society. I think this is a political crisis.

I am going through it all the time. Brother, I have suffered from racism a lot and so I know what you can feel about the segregation of the Afro-American community, even by Muslims or Arabs.

You can read millions of books and this is good, but I invite you brother to go travelling to Arab countries. You will see that it has nothing to do with life in the US.

Brother, I got lost when I was in Damascus. I was going on the top of the town to see the whole of Damascus. On my way down, I spoke with some students who came there to learn Arabic. There was an Arab, and African from Senegal and some other nationalities. MashAllah, we spoke and we were all brothers (and sister;-)

I would like also to go to Mali because they are very good Muslims and very good people!! If you go to North-Africa, there is a bit of racism but I bet you that you will tell me, sister, I went there and made so many friends. Especially when they see you embraced Islam.

I am aware of the situation of the Afro-American in the US and what happened yesterday is outrageous!!!! I hope that the rest of the community will help them but I doubt that....unfortunately.

Brother, if you were to be Muslim for the Muslims, you would probably leave Islam. But do not let social stupidities and racism and traditions let you down.

Brother, I like socialism, I will never throw a stone to anyone whether they are gay or not (only Israelis, I told you you may not like everything about me;-), I may do things that conservative people do not like.

Well, I am not going to let anyone tell me if I am an hypocrite or not.

Allah Knows Best and Allah Loves you, otherwise, he would not have let you found The Message.

Salam brother and remember that I am here for you, ALWAYS.

Muslima

 

 

 

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ak_m_f
 
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Quote ak_m_f Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 11:42am
Originally posted by Muslima

I invite you brother to go travelling to Arab countries. You will see that it has nothing to do with life


I agree

Edited by ak_m_f
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Quote Aquinian Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 11:50am
Originally posted by Israfil

were to give advice to your brother or sister of blood you will say "I am telling you this because my momma told me" rather saying "I'm telling you this because I sincerely care about your well being." I find the former rather parroting, and insincere. We should be welcoming to all people regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation. That is why I firmly believe that we humans will continuously suffer in ignorance of each other the more we divide ourselves and exclude ourselves.

Amen.

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ak_m_f
 
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Quote ak_m_f Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 11:52am
Originally posted by Aquinian

Originally posted by Israfil


<FONT face=Arial>were to give advice to your brother or sister of blood you will say "I am telling you this because my momma told me" rather saying "I'm telling you this because I sincerely care about your well being." I find the former rather parroting, and insincere. We should be welcoming to all people regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation. That is why I firmly believe that we humans will continuously suffer in ignorance of each other the more we divide ourselves and exclude ourselves.




Amen.



I second that

Edited by ak_m_f
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Angel
 
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Quote Angel Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 12:00pm
Originally posted by ak_m_f

Originally posted by Aquinian

Originally posted by Israfil


<FONT face=Arial>were to give advice to your brother or sister of blood you will say "I am telling you this because my momma told me" rather saying "I'm telling you this because I sincerely care about your well being." I find the former rather parroting, and insincere. We should be welcoming to all people regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation. That is why I firmly believe that we humans will continuously suffer in ignorance of each other the more we divide ourselves and exclude ourselves.




Amen.



I second that

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Quote AnnieTwo Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 12:16pm
Israfil,

I haven't read many of your posts, but what I have read has impressed me very much.  I find you delightful and anything but a hypocrite.

You asked: "How can any true obersant person be a Muslim if he/she questions the Word of God?"  I don't think that God expects us to be robots and not have questions.  It is through His answers to our questions that our faith deepens.

You said:  "I do not call a Muslim my brother but all human beings because we live in a brotherhood and sisterhood within each other as a species."

What a wonderful statement.  Your statement shows your depth of love for your fellow man no matter what race, color or religion.  What a credit that is to you as a human being.  How many more of you I wish were in this world.

You said:  "The absence of God's love is the greatest torment so there is no need for fire and boiling water for if God turns away from you there is no greater pain."   You are so right.  Being rejected by God would be the worse torment.  The worst hell is being separated from God and knowing it and feeling the pain of it.

I think that most people, and many would not admit it, go through a crises of faith and maybe more than once in their lifetime.  My advice to you although you have not asked for advice, is to take a break from discussion boards and concentrate on building a relationship with God, know that He loves you, know that He knows what you are going through and is there to help you, continue to pray for strength.  Ask Him to show you how much He loves you.

As you know I am a Christian and I rely on something Jesus said to me when I get down and feel overwhelmed.   It is this one:

Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

God continually reaches out to us when we need Him.  He will help you too. Ask Him and you will see.  God loves you.

God bless you, dear Israfil.

Annie


Edited by AnnieTwo
14If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 1 Peter 4

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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2006 at 1:37pm

I say Amen to that. I appreciate the comment made by those who've responded here. There is much work on my part but it is just frustrating to me because the influence of mankind is very great and there is so much tormeent in the world.

I remember a case where my neice and I were walking on the strip in the city of Long Beach California, and these two ladies were handing out these papers. Upon reading the papers it was basically proseltyzing to convert to being a Baptist Christian. These ladies suddenly attacked my neice after she told them she didn't follow a Christian faith.

My neice knowing that I have SOME knowledge of religion came to me for help and the ladies had started on me like Bees to an attacker. Basically it boiled down to if I don't believe as they do God will reject me in the end. As I have seen here there is so much judgement as there is in the real world. People maks their judgement by saying "I'm telling you the word of God."

That is the ultimate deception!

Perhaps there is a universal law unknowing to the human mind that says that we humans have to be of one religious faith. Perhaps. However according to the Qur'an God could have lead everyone to the same path. But he chose not to. I believe that the same truth is apparent to me today.

We as humans have different paths in life and we must follow them but I truly feel that these minute paths all end up ion the same direction. Based on "THE WORD OF ALLAH" let me ask the people of the forum this:

Based on the theology of the Qur'an please judge accordingly:

In the court of God who would God likely condemn

1) Buddhist Monk

2) Catholic Priest

3) Wiccan

4) Hindu

5) Jew

6) Muslim

I can tell you from this list whom God would most likely choose. If in your mind your choice would be Hindu, the question is why? If such a Hindu is guilty for peacefully practicing his/her religion what is their crime? worship? Should we judge on the internal beliefs or be content with what we see from the external?

This is my point....

The intent of the person is perhaps the most profound evidence of truth that we can come up with. Sadly, what people internalize as their beliefs cannot be seen by the world. I believe that since we do not know the true intent of the individual God's word or not we should not make any inclination towards judgement despite in the face of absolute so-called blasphemy.

I have a firm belief that God is the author of all that exist and is the designer of all that actively moves and functions. With this in mind perhaps God is creating a work of art in the making--literally. In my 24 years of young life from my adolescence, to my adult life now I have seen so many beautiful people.

So many words and so many truths proves hard for me to sometimes sustain my faith.

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