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Groups Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Women (Sisters)
Message Icon Topic: Does Islam allow Surrogate mothers? Post Reply Post New Topic
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umsami
 
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Quote umsami Replybullet Posted: 06 June 2006 at 12:34pm
Sorry.  I thought that by using medical terminology it wouldn't be viewed as offensive. 
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amah
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Quote amah Replybullet Posted: 06 June 2006 at 10:53pm
Originally posted by umsami

Sorry.  I thought that by using medical terminology it wouldn't be viewed as offensive. 



Allah is Sufficient as a Walee (Protector) and Allah is Sufficient as a Naseer (Helper).
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Quote Abeer23 Replybullet Posted: 07 June 2006 at 12:42am
Originally posted by umsami

Originally posted by Abeer23

A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.  

I did find an article that says IVF is OK as long as the eggs and donor sperm come from the married couple, which doesn't seem possible in this arrangement.  I'm wondering if the husband could take his wife's sister as a 2nd wife until the child is born? Not sure if that would be allowed or not from an Islamic standpoint.  Just wondering.

As salamu alaikum sis.  It is haram for a man to marry two sisters at the same time.

Salam

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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 07 June 2006 at 10:54am
Originally posted by Abeer23

Originally posted by umsami

Originally posted by Abeer23

A woman has to be married to the father of the baby she carries.  Men are not even allowed to divoce their wives if they're pregnant.  So how can she carry the child of a man she's never married and who marriage to him is haram.  

I did find an article that says IVF is OK as long as the eggs and donor sperm come from the married couple, which doesn't seem possible in this arrangement.  I'm wondering if the husband could take his wife's sister as a 2nd wife until the child is born? Not sure if that would be allowed or not from an Islamic standpoint.  Just wondering.

As salamu alaikum sis.  It is haram for a man to marry two sisters at the same time.

Salam

Bismillah,

Yes, it is.  Al-Hamdulilah!

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Quote Angela Replybullet Posted: 07 June 2006 at 11:17am
Really, the only way around this is a second wife.  And then the child would be born of that woman, which means according to the Quranic verse, the child would belong to the second wife.  So, really, its heartbreaking but the woman would just need to accept her fate and adopt an orphan.
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Quote umsami Replybullet Posted: 07 June 2006 at 11:34am

Originally posted by Angela

So, really, its heartbreaking but the woman would just need to accept her fate and adopt an orphan.

Adopting is not some horrible fate... it can be a wonderful wonderful experience.  Allah(swt) may have already picked out a wonderful son or daughter for the Sister... she just needs to find her baby through adoption.

The other option is, of course, to think for yourself... read the Qur'an... pray... and make your own decision as to whether or not a surrogate is halal.  Scholars offer an opinion, period.  They are not Allah(swt).  They are not infallible.  They may or may not know anything about IVF or what is involved.

I've never met anybody who has regretted adopting... in fact, most regret that they continued on with IVF for so long with no results.  They wish they would have adopted sooner.   



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Angela
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Quote Angela Replybullet Posted: 07 June 2006 at 11:41am
Originally posted by umsami

Originally posted by Angela

So, really, its heartbreaking but the woman would just need to accept her fate and adopt an orphan.

Adopting is not some horrible fate... it can be a wonderful wonderful experience.  Allah(swt) may have already picked out a wonderful son or daughter for the Sister... she just needs to find her baby through adoption.

The other option is, of course, to think for yourself... read the Qur'an... pray... and make your own decision as to whether or not a surrogate is halal.  Scholars offer an opinion, period.  They are not Allah(swt).  They are not infallible.  They may or may not know anything about IVF or what is involved.

I've never met anybody who has regretted adopting... in fact, most regret that they continued on with IVF for so long with no results.  They wish they would have adopted sooner.   

 

The accept her fate is the infertility part.  Not the adopting part.  I suffer from infertility.  I have for many years.  I've been given another chance and I'm taking it, I don't look past possible miracles, but if this one fails.  I will accept that God has fated for me not to bear my own children and I will adopt.  The adoption is not a horrible fate but a blessing and an honor.  Its a huge honor to be there for a child who will not otherwise have a good home.

However, its trickier for Muslimah's adopting.  They cannot adopt in a Western sense of the word, the child must retain his biological father's name and the child unless breastfeed by his adoptive mother is not Mehram.

But any woman who opens her home and heart to a child that she did not bear will be blessed for it.

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Quote umsami Replybullet Posted: 10 June 2006 at 7:57pm

Assalamu Alaikum Angela:

I'm sorry that you have had to go through the pain of IVF.  I have watched many friends go through it... and it is in no way easy.  If it is God's will that you adopt, I hope that He makes it easy for you, your husband, and your new baby to find each other... and welcome each other into your hearts.  May there be no obstacles, and may he make it easy for you. 

I'm sure you know that many people do become pregnant after adopting who thought they would never conceive.  Only God knows... :)

As for adoption adn Muslimahs...It depends where the Sister is.  It's true that some Muslim countries do not allow adoption... or even have the concept of it.  She can still adopt here in the Western sense if she is Muslim,  If the birth mother/father is known, then they can retain the name plus add their own last name should they desire.. as long as the original name is maintained.  (Note: Here in the States  not all Muslims use the traditional Arabic naming pattern.) 

As for breastfeeding, adoptive mothers can breastfeed... or at least La Leche says they can.  http://www.lact-aid.com/faqad001.htm  ry going to Mothering.com in the discussion forums there and looking for adoptive mothers who bf.  One may need to supplement, however.  And not all Muslimahs breastfeed.  One is supposed to... but not all do.. .nor do all go for two years.  It's easier, cheaper, better for the kid... but not everybody does it.

Peace.

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