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 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: Stop Letting Boys Run Wild!!! Post Reply Post New Topic
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Angela
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Quote Angela Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 10:55am

Jenni,

Did you see the (can't remember if it was 20/20 or Dateline) that talked about the difference in boys and girls in school?  The study showed that girls development is quicker (which is well known) so their concentration at younger ages is better. 

I have seen that 90% of the discipline problems are from the boys. They don't do thier homework, they joke in class, they are late, they make up excuses to get out of class, they don't pay attention. ect ect. There is a HUGE difference between the girls behavior and the boys, the girls pay attention, remember thier pencils and homework they are really a JOY!!!

This is exactly what the show was talking about.  Boys and Girls are VERY different in the way they develop into adults.  Girls mature quickly mentally where boys have to first deal with their new aggressive tendencies before they can gain the focus.  The sudden introduction of testosterone at puberty sends them for an emotional loop.  It was a wonderful segment.  I'll see if I can find a written article from the show.

They pointed out it folly to compare girls to boys.  A 14 year old girl is developing mentally and emotionally faster than her male peer.  However, boys tend to mature overnight (in a relative to girls), they get a slow start but when the time comes they do it very quickly. 

Now of course, there are exceptions to every rule.....my sister is an example of that....but I've heard Tomboy used to describe her preteen years more than once.

However, Boys need more structure to help them control their aggression and their changing bodies.  They are more sexually aggressive in their younger years, where women tend to get that way in their 30s.  Boys need to be understood better, but your right with that means they also need to have better educational programs and better community programs out there.

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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 11:48am
Yes Angela, I saw that special. When we recently visited Pakistan My in-laws were telling me that now since more girls are going to college they are outscoring the boys and getting more and more spots in engineering, medical, dental schools ect. And here my friends sister was telling me about how hard it is to find her daughter an anastesiology medical resident a husband. She said most of the guys are LESS educated than the girls. There were MORE women than men in her daughters medical college. So, I think in the next 20 years you will see the highly skilled fields like science and medicine become dominated by women. Look at pharmacy, medical, dental ect in the U.s. and even Law school, all being dominated by young women. This will be a REAL problem in the future, who will these girls marry???? A taxi driver, or a construction worker??? In general women DO NOT marry men less educated then them because that means if they have children they will not have the option of staying home for a while with the kids. Women want to have a career, but they want the chance to take time off and be mothers too!! Peace Angela
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 11:51am
Hayfa, I don't think girls here mature faster because they are less innocent. No way, these are cute little muslim girls I'm talking about. Here it goes, traditional cultures raise girls to be helpful and co-operative. They raise boys to be tuff and macho, to go out and conquer the world. However in the mean time they forget to TEACH BOYS TO BE CO-OPERATIVE AND HELPFUL. Therefor we women get those boys when they grow up and they can't change a daiper or make tea, they are helpless.
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Quote -ArabianKnight- Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 12:20pm
Originally posted by Jenni

However in the mean time they forget to TEACH BOYS TO BE CO-OPERATIVE AND HELPFUL. Therefor we women get those boys when they grow up and they can't change a daiper or make tea, they are helpless.


Making tea?... Changing Diapers?... that doesnt sound like cooperation but a Home-Economics class..

Its true women outnumber men in colleges... though I wonder if that is also the case in the more eastern regions of the world... Where as I recall Men still dominate the academics...  So I guess when these american Women graduate.. they will end up marrying Foriegn men.. hah.. then America's greatest export will be.. its Women!.. what an odd society that will be.
THere Is no god, BUT GOD
and Adam was his First Messenger
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 3:04pm
-ArabianKnight-,

You tickled me.
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 3:33pm
What you have said Jenni, "I have seen that in the West the Girls behave much better then the boys. I help at my Masjid at the Sunday school, there are a few hundrend students. I have seen that 90% of the discipline problems are from the boys. They don't do thier homework, they joke in class, they are late, they make up excuses to get out of class, they don't pay attention. ect ect. There is a HUGE difference between the girls behavior and the boys, the girls pay attention, remember thier pencils and homework they are really a JOY!!! We would get much more done if the school were all girls. I am sorry to say but in many cultures people baby the sons WAY TOO MUCH!!!! They are spoiled and used to getting what they want. They will grow up to be the kind of boys we are talking about, wild. I have noticed the boys whos mothers talk to us teachers and are strict with thier sons are the ones who are well behaved. They other mothers and fathers are TOTALLY CLUELESS1!! And I wonder how awful these boys must be doing in regular school. Really sad.."

I understand that boys are different and that the learning levels are different and THAT YOU MUST REMEMBER that boys catch up and when they catch up THEY damn CATCH UP good! But I found your statement offensive, I find that the school are better off with girls only are dangerous, mean and offensive! What kind of signal are you giving? That we don't need you boys because you are different than girls? That you are mischef and evil? That we prefer girls better or why not you be like a girl? DEAR, that is ONE OF THE MANY biggest reasons why boys are gone wild? They are like the drone bees now, we useless, not needed, so what does the drone bee do? He stings anyone he can see to kill himself? What does the boy do, he cause murders, kill himself, do bad things because he doesn't look much worth to himself? What, is it because now woman she be the take cares, barren, the one with wealth? Fine, men was that but they end up taking care of their wives, children, done the ultimate impossible to please his wive, disciplined his children, men AND I AM SAYING MEN, not BOYS or MALES, I am saying MEN did not one thing to hurt their wives? What are women doing to their men, THE VERY OPPOSITE of what men have been doing, we are not the bread winner, we are smarter, better we make babies, THE HELL with you men. That is the exact reason why prophit said in one of his hadith, if you men are not the bread winners, if you don't have good politicians, if the wealthiest of you are bad and miserable and you obey you wives like slaves then it is best to be at the belly of the earth than the land. At first I thought that was sexiest, that uncalled fall, perhaps that because he lived in a whole different generation. But I see what he ment by it, and I think perhaps I might have kafaarat as well for not believing the word of the prophit, for thinking he is wrong, I am going to pray and pray and pray for Gods forgiveness for retaliating at some words of the prophit that is again the devils doing.

Janni, ok so girls are different. RIGHT they mature at a different level, RIGHT! Boys have hormonol problems, RIGHT, boys have to be disciplined well and taken care off AND CONSTANTLY REMINDED THAT THEY ARE LOVED AND SHOULD LOVE THEMSELVES. HERE IS THE SOLUTION to your problem and desire for school better of to girls than boys (I could not even fathome how hurtful your words are ) saparate the schools for the girls and the boys. Saparate them, make sure that boys have all male schools, girls have all female schools, of course the feminist would not want to do that, of course, they want to cause opression to their males, hell even wipe them clean. Of course when that happens, you females will indulge in homosexualities, I do hope the hell will then be a welcoming home to you!

I am sorry, I am just angry, enraged and sometimes the shaytaan gets to me, I am sorry, Authoo bellaahee mena shaytaan arajiim! You really hurted me Jani by implying that off the boys from school, may God forgive you for those harsh words.


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Quote salman Replybullet Posted: 29 April 2006 at 4:57am

Originally posted by Jenni

Salman, you really sound silly. Let your boys just have fun?? Maybe they can go to a house of prostitution and contract H.I.V. aids. That might toughen them up, until they get sick and die. This attitude is the problem in Islam doing drugs, drinking alchohol, stealing, having sex before marraige are EQUAL SINS FOR MEN AND WOMEN!!!! And parents who permit it to happen are PERMITTING SIN!!!!! Where in The Quran does it say Boys run around and be wild, girls stay home and be good????

again i repeat to the readers and especially to jenni who (by looking at her posts) i think keeps partiality between boys and girls and hates boys. the truth must be accepted that boys cannot be treated as girls.

jenni, all boys are not grown in that way as you have wrote. you need to teach them moral values and grow and parent them in a proper way. once they are grown up enough and they think that they can handle themselves well in their lives, they should be left alone. after all, it is their life. boys need to know how to tackle different situations in life. a job of a parent is to nurture the child in a proper way. then you may leave the boys alone. but the same thing cannot be done with girls. girls cannot be left alone as they cannot handle themselves well in tough situations. they fall under depression very often and sometimes due to many other reasons they mey get deviated off the track in their lives.

It is better to be alone than to be in bad company.
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 29 April 2006 at 5:51am

They are like the drone bees now, we useless, not needed, so what does the drone bee do? He stings anyone he can see to kill himself? What does the boy do, he cause murders, kill himself, do bad things because he doesn't look much worth to himself? What, is it because now woman she be the take cares, barren, the one with wealth?

Bismillah,

We need to value and love all of our children.  Sister Jenni is not advocating that men be devalued, but just that kids at the mosque be kept under control.  Maybe you haven't experienced this where you are, but many times the boys run around freely with noone disciplining them in the mosques and in the neighborhoods.  Girls do this also, but because of the over-protectiveness of some parents, they just don't become as vociferously problematic during school.

It seems like you have experienced women cutting men off at the knees in many ways.  But just because there are women and men who don't adjust well in society doesn't mean that all women or men are limited or described by those people.

We need education and the ability to make money because it is hard to be impoverished in this world.  Girls become mothers and need to have good educations for work and for childrearing as well.

Boys and girls act out when they feel penned in and unloved.  I understand that very well.  That's why I say that we need to provide for all of the children regular, safe, organized activities.  As a community of very different individuals, we need to work together for our children are going to build the future that we still live in.  I reiterate that you guys especially should go play soccer or basketball with the kids at the mosque.  Organize a checkers afternoon once or twice a week for all of the kids.  Let's stop pointing fingers and keep loving all the kids together.  Okay?

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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