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Message Icon Topic: Stop Letting Boys Run Wild!!! Post Reply Post New Topic
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-ArabianKnight-
 
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Quote -ArabianKnight- Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 1:08am

Originally posted by Salman


but the same thing cannot be done with girls. girls cannot be left alone as they cannot handle themselves well in tough situations. they fall under depression very often and sometimes due to many other reasons they mey get deviated off the track in their lives.



i'm no feminist... but that is just crap.. get off your high horse and take a look around Salman.. because you're generalising.. again..

Females are different.. but they arnt weak or emotionally invalids..

Perhaps you're view is based on somthing cultural... But is not a definitive fact of the gender.



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and Adam was his First Messenger
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foody
 
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 1:21am
Salman both genders are different in the quraan it says "...the male is not like the female.." both genders have weakness and strength, please respect the strengths of both and weakness of both we must concentrate on something more important than this. Like the lost souls, war, famine and so on, and making sure when we leave this world we have a bag of good deeds from the heart to allow us to enter heaven. Isn't that what we are here for from the first place?
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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 5:14am

Assalamu alaikum,

Sister Herjihad said "When you say that you don't believe children are born evil, I agree with you.  I do think it is possible that (just to give an example, this is not a researched number) one in a billion might be evil by design simply because of the story in the Holy Quran about the boys and the wall.  Do you remember that one?"

I believe she is referring to the story of Moses and the unnamed Sage found in Sura Al-Kahf (18), specifically found in verses 60 - 82.  In the story, the Sage kills a young boy and later explains to Moses why.

"Then they proceeded: until when they met a young boy, he slew him....." 18:74

"As for the youth, his parents were people of Faith, and we feared that he would grieve them by obstinate rebellion and ingratitude (to Allah and man)." 18:80

I also believe that some children are born evil, but I can't even pretend to comprehend why or to what purpose and Allahu a'lam.

Peace, ummziba. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 5:39am
Originally posted by ummziba

Assalamu alaikum,

Sister Herjihad said "When you say that you don't believe children are born evil, I agree with you.  I do think it is possible that (just to give an example, this is not a researched number) one in a billion might be evil by design simply because of the story in the Holy Quran about the boys and the wall.  Do you remember that one?"

I believe she is referring to the story of Moses and the unnamed Sage found in Sura Al-Kahf (18), specifically found in verses 60 - 82.  In the story, the Sage kills a young boy and later explains to Moses why.

"Then they proceeded: until when they met a young boy, he slew him....." 18:74

"As for the youth, his parents were people of Faith, and we feared that he would grieve them by obstinate rebellion and ingratitude (to Allah and man)." 18:80

I also believe that some children are born evil, but I can't even pretend to comprehend why or to what purpose and Allahu a'lam.

Peace, ummziba. 

Bismillah,

Shukran Jazzellan, Sister Ummziba!

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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herjihad
 
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 6:13am
Originally posted by foody

You said, "

When you say that you don't believe children are born evil, I agree with you.  I do think it is possible that (just to give an example, this is not a researched number) one in a billion might be evil by design simply because of the story in the Holy Quran about the boys and the wall.  Do you remember that one?"

 

Actually I don't..can you please tell me about it? What does the Holy Quran says about boys and the wall?  Oh I am sorry, do you mean Jojo and Majojo, I think that is what is it called? If it is so, I am sorry, you are right there are times where evil is there and cannot be stopped, like hitler for example and so on. You are right sister, but what *I* would do as a father if God Well allows me to be one, I would do all my power, heart, soul, blood to make them into a good civilians and prevent chaos in their souls. I will protect my future children with my life. 

I am truly sorry herjihad that lots of people are throwing the loads to mothers, but mothers are the care takers of children from children between birth and 6 or 7 years old I believe, but then the FATHER should take the role with the mother to taking care of the child. If however that is not the case in your village and all the loads are in you to taking care of children then that is a great example of how fathers don't think much of themselves and are lost.  If they all act tough if they all think of going to work and labour, etc it is all signs of feeling comfortable and feeling wanted and feeling useful and this is something not been feeling at the parenting level and it is worse if the woman tries to force the man for parenting because he will feel that she is dimasculinizing him it should come from another man and a role model from another man and tought that fathers are not like mothers but are as equally important and so forth, but if that is not the case and solved then here we gain are creating formula for disasters as such horrible trend to continue :(

So according to your analysis, we're just tough out of luck? 

The hardest part is the idea that our children need the love and care NOW.  This isn't an intellectual debate for me or just an interesting discussion.  Ten years from now they will be fully grown men with their own issues.  Brothers, I know you can't take my kids out and play basketball with them or say:  Let's pray in a loving eager way so that they want to pray rather than:  Hiawan, go pray.  So do it for your neighboring Muslim families.  Make a big brother club to really care about the youth in your area right now when it matters.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Quote Knowledge01 Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 7:28am

As Salam Alaikum,

In my community there a alot of children and the problem that I see is the parents not disciplining their children so the children-boys and girls- run wild, mess up the masjid, are loud during salat,etc.  This bothers everyone except the parents it seems.  So the change must start with the parents.

 

I also want to point out the fact that girls are also sometimes running wild, not just the boys.  But I think that it is in the human nature of boys to be louder and more energetic in the young years than girls.

 

One last point-  If the children in the community see that the adults in the community are organized and disciplined, the children will carry on in our example.

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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 9:13am
I have seen that in the West the Girls behave much better then the boys. I help at my Masjid at the Sunday school, there are a few hundrend students. I have seen that 90% of the discipline problems are from the boys. They don't do thier homework, they joke in class, they are late, they make up excuses to get out of class, they don't pay attention. ect ect. There is a HUGE difference between the girls behavior and the boys, the girls pay attention, remember thier pencils and homework they are really a JOY!!! We would get much more done if the school were all girls. I am sorry to say but in many cultures people baby the sons WAY TOO MUCH!!!! They are spoiled and used to getting what they want. They will grow up to be the kind of boys we are talking about, wild. I have noticed the boys whos mothers talk to us teachers and are strict with thier sons are the ones who are well behaved. They other mothers and fathers are TOTALLY CLUELESS1!! And I wonder how awful these boys must be doing in regular school. Really sad..
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 28 April 2006 at 10:52am

Girls 'tend' to mature faster, at least here in the west.  The difference, having traveled is that children are 'less innocent' than in other parts of the world. Protection of the children is very important and families are expected to stay involved more with each other. (sometimes for good and sometimes not so good).

I think there is a difference between teaching independence skills and too much looseness. All children, including teens need guidance and involvement. They need to have boundaries and help in learning valuable skills. Too much freedom assumes they know how to take care of themselves. This only comes from wisdom and time.

Plus some people are more likely to understand and realize the consequences of their actions. This is not gender specific, but based upon personality.

If and when I have a teenager and they start getting into trouble they'll be off to another country or the outdoor school in Alaska!

I hear from parents.. "What can I do? They won't go (when refering to class)?" And i think who is in charge?? Parents of course should love their children and be their friend in life but they are also given the responsibilty of raising them correctly, with good morals and values.  This is called 'tough love".

The only reason a child should have a cell phone is if you can plug in only number for parents, teachers and so they can call 911. Otherwise it helps to defocus them for other things.. Get off the phone and get involved in life. (Same goes for adults as well! )

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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