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Groups – Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: Stop Letting Boys Run Wild!!! Post Reply Post New Topic
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Mishmish
 
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Quote Mishmish Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 11:40am

Assalamu Alaikum:

All children need guidance and a strong example. If the boys are allowed to run wild and do whatever they want, then who will all of these pious, well watched-after girls marry?

The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: When the human being dies, his/her deeds will come to an end except three kinds: Sadaqah Jariah (continuous charity), beneficial knowledge, and a good child that will pray for him/her. (Muslim).

Qur'βn

Sϋrah al Baqarah 2:233
No mother shall expose her own child to harm, nor shall any father expose his child to harm. 

Ahadith

The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "No father gives a better gift to his children than good manners and good character."

It is related by Anas (R.A.) that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Show respect to your children and adorn them with good manners."  Showing of respect to one's children denotes that they should be treated not as a burden, but a blessing and trust of Allah, and brought up with care and affection.

Abdullah ibn Abbas (R.A.) reports that the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said "Whoever becomes the father of a girl, he should neither hurt her nor treat her with contempt nor show preference over her to his sons in kindness and affection. (Both boys and girls should be treated alike.) Allah will grant him Paradise in return for kind treatment towards the daughter."

The messenger of Allah, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, also said, ‘Treat your children equally, treat your children equally, treat your children equally.’ (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, ibn Hibbaan)

Can't be much clearer that that...

It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. (The Little Prince)
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Angela
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Quote Angela Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 12:04pm

Salman,

If a girl goes out and strays from the path, perhaps committing Zina.  Who is she doing it with?????  SOMEBODY ELSE'S SON! 

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foody
 
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 12:12pm
Angela,


Boys needs of: protection, guidance, discipline
are what they seek from parents. Be a parent for you boys as you are for your girls, please, please, please.  God blessed me with an excellent mom, she raised me well, I don't do drugs, have never had sex in my life (pure virgin) looks at women with utter respect, and as I am not perfect I could be pain in the butt, but hey, who isn't? But I love who I am and feel my heart burn when I see boys lost, really burns my soul.


Edited by foody
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-ArabianKnight-
 
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Quote -ArabianKnight- Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 3:24pm
Did you ever think that it is more personality than parenting?

I dont think parents turn their kids into serial killers.. but those traits just grow on them some how..  Maybe some people just have the propensity to sin... where as others dont..
THere Is no god, BUT GOD
and Adam was his First Messenger
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foody
 
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 4:35pm
I refuse to believe that some human beings are evil, every child born is innocene and pure.  Some just lose it at a very age, some may have abnormalities in the brain hormone and brain abnormalities, but that is the responsibility of the parents to save their child/children for what ever problems ails them. If the parents don't do it, who does. Modern society are neglecting their children, and parents now are only thinking of themselves and some now have grown up wondering if their role is really important, that they can be replaced and some have grown up not knowing what a parent is. It is all signs of the minor end of time, if you have read the minor signs of end of time, it is happening.
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herjihad
 
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 5:00pm

Bismillah,

Originally posted by foody

I refuse to believe that some human beings are evil, every child born is innocene and pure.  Some just lose it at a very age, some may have abnormalities in the brain hormone and brain abnormalities, but that is the responsibility of the parents to save their child/children for what ever problems ails them. If the parents don't do it, who does. Modern society are neglecting their children, and parents now are only thinking of themselves and some now have grown up wondering if their role is really important, that they can be replaced and some have grown up not knowing what a parent is. It is all signs of the minor end of time, if you have read the minor signs of end of time, it is happening.

When you say that you don't believe children are born evil, I agree with you.  I do think it is possible that (just to give an example, this is not a researched number) one in a billion might be evil by design simply because of the story in the Holy Quran about the boys and the wall.  Do you remember that one?

When you say that parents are neglecting their chilldren and only thinking of themselves, I know that some people do this, but I don't see many doing this.  My parents did this, however, my blood sister and I are not because we know what that feels like and we want to care for our families as Allah, SWT, wants us to.

When you say that modern society is neglecting their children I agree that society as a whole does not provide for our children.  If it takes a village to raise a child, why am I all alone in this job? (Reference the post about the disaffected dads.)  Truly the societies I have seen put the onus of childcare solely on mom's shoulders.  When dad cops out, when the grandparents don't recognize their duty to them, when the neighbors barely notice them unless they are noisy, it's mom who does it.  I live in a village, but the village is blind to the needs of the children unless those kids have parents with cash, and lots of it.

Pardon me.  I need to chase the boys down again!



Edited by herjihad
Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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foody
 
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Quote foody Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 6:12pm
You said, "

When you say that you don't believe children are born evil, I agree with you.  I do think it is possible that (just to give an example, this is not a researched number) one in a billion might be evil by design simply because of the story in the Holy Quran about the boys and the wall.  Do you remember that one?"

 

Actually I don't..can you please tell me about it? What does the Holy Quran says about boys and the wall?  Oh I am sorry, do you mean Jojo and Majojo, I think that is what is it called? If it is so, I am sorry, you are right there are times where evil is there and cannot be stopped, like hitler for example and so on. You are right sister, but what *I* would do as a father if God Well allows me to be one, I would do all my power, heart, soul, blood to make them into a good civilians and prevent chaos in their souls. I will protect my future children with my life. 

I am truly sorry herjihad that lots of people are throwing the loads to mothers, but mothers are the care takers of children from children between birth and 6 or 7 years old I believe, but then the FATHER should take the role with the mother to taking care of the child. If however that is not the case in your village and all the loads are in you to taking care of children then that is a great example of how fathers don't think much of themselves and are lost.  If they all act tough if they all think of going to work and labour, etc it is all signs of feeling comfortable and feeling wanted and feeling useful and this is something not been feeling at the parenting level and it is worse if the woman tries to force the man for parenting because he will feel that she is dimasculinizing him it should come from another man and a role model from another man and tought that fathers are not like mothers but are as equally important and so forth, but if that is not the case and solved then here we gain are creating formula for disasters as such horrible trend to continue :(



Edited by foody
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salman
 
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Quote salman Replybullet Posted: 27 April 2006 at 11:35pm

Originally posted by Jenni

Salman, you really sound silly. Let your boys just have fun?? Maybe they can go to a house of prostitution and contract H.I.V. aids. That might toughen them up, until they get sick and die. This attitude is the problem in Islam doing drugs, drinking alchohol, stealing, having sex before marraige are EQUAL SINS FOR MEN AND WOMEN!!!! And parents who permit it to happen are PERMITTING SIN!!!!! Where in The Quran does it say Boys run around and be wild, girls stay home and be good????

jenni, all boys are not grown in that way as you have wrote. you need to teach them moral values and grow and parent them in a proper way. once they are grown up enough and they think that they can handle themselves well in their lives, they should be left alone. after all, it is their life. boys need to know how to tackle different situations in life. a job of a parent is to nurture the child in a proper way. then you may leave the boys alone. but the same thing cannot be done with girls. girls cannot be left alone as they cannot handle themselves well in tough situations. they fall under depression very often and sometimes due to many other reasons they mey get deviated off the track in their lives.

It is better to be alone than to be in bad company.
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