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Groups – Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Women (Sisters)
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zainaaa_123
 
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Quote zainaaa_123 Replybullet Topic: debt
    Posted: 20 February 2006 at 3:00pm
what should i do if my fiance's mom fails to repay my parents the money she owes, because she claims she does not have any money, even though she is working and has travelled outside the country 2 times after this. My fiance feels bad but not as bad as me, because the pressure is on me from my family.I am startimng to dislike her due to this issue becasue she is not making any attempt. Should this affect my relationship with my fiance.
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zainaaa_123
 
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Quote zainaaa_123 Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2006 at 3:06pm
take it easy
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2006 at 4:46pm
Could it not be a simple issue of communications?  Ask her to make payments, and don't expect that she will do it on her own.  Maybe she feels that you folks can wait for payment and there is no rush.  Was there a contractual agreement?
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zainaaa_123
 
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Quote zainaaa_123 Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2006 at 6:03pm
Thanks for replying, she has been reminded so many times.
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Angel
 
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Quote Angel Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2006 at 6:12pm

If she is not going to repay, perhaps don't lend her any more money.

Perhaps you can pay your family instead and then get your fiance's mom to pay you instead installments of what she can pay back, at least that way the pressure is off from your own family.  

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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firewall3
 
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Quote firewall3 Replybullet Posted: 13 March 2006 at 4:42am
debts must be paid. i was taught that if we die without paying debts, it's simply unthinkable. in ur case, i think if she did borrow -- it is her duty to pay back her debts. it's a sin not too. still, if she really doesn't have any money at all to repay, maybe... it's best if the lender waive it or make it easy for her. isn't it great to help her? you'll get blessings from Allah.

maybe you can ask her pay in installments? anyway you all are going to be families, i hope you can work it out the best way. God bless.
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Alwardah
 
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Quote Alwardah Replybullet Posted: 13 March 2006 at 6:51am

As Salamu Alaikum

My father's principle: "If you value someone's friendship, don't lend them money."

“Verily your Lord is quick in punishment; yet He is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (Surah Al-An’am 6:165)
"Indeed, we belong to Allah and to Him is our return" (Surah Baqarah 2: 155)
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herjihad
 
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 13 March 2006 at 12:44pm

Bismillah,

Dear Sister Zainaa,

Did your fiance encourage you to loan the money to her?  If so, he is culpable in her lack of repayment, and should begin to make the payments to you, which you need to write down.

If not, it was your decision, yes.  But your fiance needs to also take responsibility unless he discouraged you from loaning her the money.  If he was against it, and it was just between the two of you, did you make a written agreement?  Probably not.  Try to get her to sign a written aggreement now that she owes the money to you, and a time frame you both agree on to pay it back. 

If she won't sign it and says something like:  Don't you trust me, tell her it IS the Islaamic way to deal with money and property such as this, that you wanted to fix things Islaamically in order to please Allah, SWT.

Loans are a great way to help people, but we should realize the reality of a situation when we make a loan.  Will this person really be able to pay it back?  What if they were counting on a payment to them or a new job that they never get?  If the people didn't mean to steal your money and are just poor and really not able to repay you, it is better to let it go and say that it is a charity from you to them. 

In your situation, she is spending plenty of money to travel, so I would say she is one of those people who has considered it charity without your permission, and you should try to get your money back.

Don't loan money that you can't afford to lose especially if you don't sign a contract.  Life has hard lessons to learn.  ISA the other lessons will be easier for you than they have been for me!  I got burned badly by someone who promised to take care of financial matters.  It hurts when someone close to you doesn't prioritize promises to you, but remembers other people or things instead.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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