Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook
Advertisement:
         

Groups Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: A Woman’s Love for a Man Post Reply Post New Topic
Page  of 2 Next >>
Author Message
Israfil
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 08 September 2003
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3984
Quote Israfil Replybullet Topic: A Woman’s Love for a Man
    Posted: 05 February 2006 at 12:46pm

As'Salaamu Alaikum brothers!

With all due respect since I'm posting this discussion here for only the brothers and particularly Muslim men I hope the sister can respect my wishes and not respond here. I wanted to ask you brothers what you all think about love? In particularly if you can if you are married tell me what love is like in marriage? Also tell em what you think about love? Is it unconditional for you? Is it conditional for you.

Allow me to go briefly.... Love to me in my opinion is logical and its conditional. At first I thought maybe love was unconditional but I think in certain situations such as infidelity I believe those would turn the relationship into a conditional form. Honestly the world has turned itself inside out. Love to me is non-existent. The way relationships are nowadays they are conditonal forms of marital bliss. I myself cannot find any decent sisters in my masjid and it has been tough with Police Academy so it hasn't helped either.

I just recently met a woman who is in my Academy class who, although is not Muslim was interested in who I was as a person. Some of the sisters in my masjid I cxannot talk to personally for obvious reasons but they never really give me a chance. Most of them, I later find are intimidated by me because of my athletic figure and my tattoos that I'm some sort of player type and that I'll be a cheater eventually. Most of them are too into their culture.

This indvidual person is nice however. Smart funny and attractive. I understand Islamically speaking I'm not supposed to be having conversation with this person but in all honesty as Allah knows I've tried. It's hard being a single, mature and motivating man. Brothers Ive tried meeting sisters in majid but as I mentioned above they are too involved in culture. Me being African-American even some of the African sisters. However I don't look at culture as other sisters do.

Point being is that there are some feelings with this woman and although I know it isn't love it is something. So far the situation is cordial but there might be something down the road and who knows? Perhaps this situation too, is God's will. Besides the question above what do you brothers have to say for me here in this situation?

IP IP Logged
Angel
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 03 July 2001
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6639
Quote Angel Replybullet Posted: 19 February 2006 at 11:44pm

wow, a months almost gone and nothing

 

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
IP IP Logged
Megatron
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 26 December 2001
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 279
Quote Megatron Replybullet Posted: 23 February 2006 at 11:35pm

I don't want to sound like Bill Clinton, but "I feel your pain".  I've been rejected by Muslim women as well where I live because I'm from a different culture. 

If a woman can't accept you for who you are, that's their problem.  I learned that a long time ago.  You can't change who you are and if you try to be someone else, you'll just be a big loser. 

Most women hate eccentricities in character or appearance, because most of them are morons.  Ignorant people are afraid of things they don't understand and since most women are ignorant, they tend to shy away from unconventional people.  Yeah I got some mysogynistic views, but I've been alive long enough to realize that all the PC stuff my mother fed me about women was garbage.  I'm sure there are Muslim women out there who aren't idiots and won't care if you have some tatoos and don't look like your average Johnny Muslim.

Invariably if you start anything with a non-Muslim woman, she'll most likely want to be intimate with you, which is haram.  Even a simple kiss or hug is not considered good. 

I don't see anything wrong with you talking to her as long as you are not alone.  If you're lucky, she might gain an interest in Islam.  If she doesn't I personally believe she should be kicked to the curb. 

I've been in a similar situation before.  You as the Muslim man have to follow a more strict set of rules so you need to be in control.  Try telling her where you are coming from with regard to your religious beliefs.  If she doesn't understand them, then I don't really forsee a future with her.

Personally speaking, I fell for a Catholic girl, but she couldn't accept that I was not able to touch her so she said goodbye.  I won't lie and say I'm not unbelievably bitter about it (I loved her), but I'm better off in the end.  I'd prefer to live a life of cold and utter loneliness than to compromise my beliefs, but that's just me.

You're in a Police Acadamy huh?  Is it anything like those irritating eighties movies?...what did they get up to Police Academy 8? 

IP IP Logged
fehmi
 
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 21 February 2006
Location: Turkey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 30
Quote fehmi Replybullet Posted: 24 February 2006 at 12:19pm
Originally posted by Megatron

I don't want to sound like Bill Clinton, but "I feel your pain".  I've been rejected by Muslim women as well where I live because I'm from a different culture. 

......

Most women hate eccentricities in character or appearance, because most of them are morons.  Ignorant people are afraid of things they don't understand and since most women are ignorant, they tend to shy away from unconventional people.

May Allah help you get over the love pain as soon as possible, bro. I have also been rejected by both of the girls whom I revealed my love to. But I don't think that most women are morons. They are not more stupid than men usually. Let stupid and unbelieving women be for stupid and unbelieving men. May Allah give us much more pious and better wives than them. Amin.



Edited by fehmi
IP IP Logged
Megatron
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 26 December 2001
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 279
Quote Megatron Replybullet Posted: 26 February 2006 at 10:10pm

Nobody is touching this topic because love between a man and woman is completely superficial.  It's just a release of endorphins and other neurochemicals. 

If you want that feeling of love, eat a lot of chocolate. 

IP IP Logged
fehmi
 
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 21 February 2006
Location: Turkey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 30
Quote fehmi Replybullet Posted: 27 February 2006 at 12:16am
Originally posted by Megatron

Nobody is touching this topic because love between a man and woman is completely superficial.  It's just a release of endorphins and other neurochemicals. 

If you want that feeling of love, eat a lot of chocolate. 

Bro, you have become too pessimistic to appreciate the good and virtuous sides of love between a man and a woman.

IP IP Logged
fehmi
 
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 21 February 2006
Location: Turkey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 30
Quote fehmi Replybullet Posted: 27 February 2006 at 12:19am

Also see this verse from the Qur'an:

30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

IP IP Logged
rami
Male  Islam
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Senior Member

Joined: 01 March 2000
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2550
Quote rami Replybullet Posted: 27 February 2006 at 5:02am
Bi ismillahir rahmanir raheem

assalamu alaikum

Do you know any muslim families, it would be a good idea if you can aproach the women or family and ask them to look on your behalf, a sheiklh can also do this for you more than likely some women have let him know they are ready for marriage and if he could arrange something with people he sees as suitble for them.

get a good muslim to vouch or look on your behalf.






Edited by rami
Rasul Allah (sallah llahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord" and whoever knows his Lord has been given His gnosis and nearness.
IP IP Logged
Page  of 2 Next >>
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at islamicity.com or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of www.arthafez.com

Advertisement:



Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program  http://www.islamicity.com/Donate
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning http://www.islamiCity.com/ArabAcademy
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions www.icDomain.com
Home for Muslim Tunes www.icTunes.com
Islamic Video Collections www.islamiTV.com
IslamiCity Marriage Site www.icMarriage.com