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Message Icon Topic: Your views on male/female friendships Post Reply Post New Topic
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fatima
 
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Quote fatima Replybullet Posted: 01 March 2006 at 5:06am

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaikum

sis this is very slippery slope, u need to tell the other sister to be careful, im sure u must of heard the hadith

Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab: I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for.

there is another hadith which is about having intention only for sake of ur lord, i cant remember it fully but i will paraphrase it and Allah swt guide me and forgive me for my mistake. Sayyidina Muhammad (saw) said that on day of Judgement a martyr will go infront of Allah swt and will say that Ya Rab, I followed and struggled on your path and was killed, Allah swt will say to him, you did not do it for me, u wanted to be known as a martyr so the angels of hell are being told to take him to hellfire.

If some one wants to revert nothing can be better than this but intention should be for sake of our dear lord.  this sister needs to consider being in different religions ur ways of life are different, thinking, habbits and every thing, if someone is giving it up for u, then they might want u to give up some things too, what if it is that is part of ur religions? just remember for sake of another human u can only go uptill one point but if it is for ur lord then Alhamdulillah. what if he becomes a muslim and they still dont end up being married, what if it dont work out after the marriage, is he going to leave islam, there are alot of things to think about sis, just say to the guy read bout Islam and then with this thought that u reverting dont necessarily mean we getting married in the end and if u still want to come to Islam then Alhamdulillah nothing better than that

Allah swt says in Quran 'Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed.'

this life is not even worth wing of fly in sight of our dear lord, it is said that if a person lives 60 years then thats merely 3 secs r mins of the day of Judgement, our sights should be living this life for next to please Allah swt, just think for a while which one u rather have

wassalam

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Khadija1021
 
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Quote Khadija1021 Replybullet Posted: 02 March 2006 at 4:31am

Assalmau Alaikum

Sister ASHI, a Msulimah is only allowed to married a brother who is good with him deen due to the role he plays in her life.  No one is allowed to enter Islam simply because they want to get married.  The Shahadah made by a person without sincerety is not accpeted by Allah so how can a sister accept that person as a husband?

Allah Hafiz

Sister Khadija

Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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Abeer23
 
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Quote Abeer23 Replybullet Posted: 03 March 2006 at 1:23am
Originally posted by ASHI

Salaam,

well...tell u wot??? the guy is willing to convert....the thing is..he is already an atheist, though his parents r hindu. He doesnt believe in the existence of God it seems..but he is willing to convert for my friend's sake..is this correct??

but it wud still hurt both of their parents...wot do u guys feel..???

As salamu alaikum.  Hmm, this guy seems risky if you ask me.  The sister should continue to make da'wa for him.  If he converts, then he does so for the good of his own soul and Allah azza wa jalla will reward her for her efforts.  But I wouldn't advise her to consider marrying this man.  If he's only converting for the sake of marriage just imagine the problems she'll face trying to raise muslim children.  It will be close to impossible.  I just can't imagine anything worst than being a muslimah and giving birth to unbelieving children. Ma'adh allah!

Salaam

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ASHI
 
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Quote ASHI Replybullet Posted: 04 March 2006 at 2:34am

Salaam

thank u all for providing ur views...yes of course it is risky to get married to a guy who is converting just for the sake of the girl....as i told you he doesn't believe in any God presenlty.....

but wot if he converts n doesnt have any problem if the children r raised as muslims....he truly loves the girl...at least this seems to be for sure...

"Expect great things from God, Attempt great things for God."
ASHI
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fatima
 
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Quote fatima Replybullet Posted: 04 March 2006 at 4:27am

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

Assalamu alaikum

If i was the friend of this sister, i would ask her how serious is she and how sincere is she to her religion? no offense intended here sis, just read ur post, the guy dont believe in God but will pretend to believe just to be with her and she be happy with that? sister ur friend's compromise on her beliefs is starting right from here, Allah swt knows the deepest secrets of hearts, Allah swt knows that for this person who is athiest for the moment a person could be more important than God bcos he dont believe in God. but for a believing muslimah how has this person bcome more important than her lord?

im sure there are many muslims this sister will find more suitable than this person, we all get so much confused in this word love, what is it? how did it start between these two people, im sure by talking to the person and by being with him, is that allowed in Islam u think sis, please tell ur friend dont base decision of ur life on something which does not even come in mightb allowed area.

sis we need to consider the fact that this life dont go on us liking or disliking some thing, the ayah where Allah swt tells us 'Fighting is enjoined on you, and it is an object of dislike to you; and it may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you, and Allah knows, while you do not know' (2:116). this ayah is although for jihad but we can use it in general sense too.

wassalam


 

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ASHI
 
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Quote ASHI Replybullet Posted: 09 March 2006 at 1:24am

Wslm Sister Fatima,

ur words r really hard hitting n made me think about this...i conveyed the same 2 my friend n she was upset bout it for a long time....

first of all wud like 2 clarify that these 2 people never use 2 speak...though the guy always seemed 2 be interested in her...they r colleagues...they somehow started chatting online n their friendship bloomed, eventhough they still dont directly speak 2 each other much...

but wotever u said is right...i mean 4 him God is not imp since he is an atheist n naturally its easy 4 him 2 convert....but my friend says wot is wrong if he converts n if ther's a possibility of she convincing him bout the existence of Allah swt....wot if he really starts believing in islam?? i know this is not easy n v v risky though......

i know my friend can find better suitors 4 herself...but then she too loves him....n by love she means she really cares bout the guy n wants 2 live with him..n cannot think of marrying some1 else..since he has already occupied a place in her heart.....

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fatima
 
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Quote fatima Replybullet Posted: 09 March 2006 at 4:37am

Bismillah irrahman irrahim

waa'alaikum assalam

JazakAllah khair for not getting offended for that was the only way i could have put it,

now there is a hadith about 'The grey areas' the matters which are neither haram and nor are they put in halal category, Sayyidina Muhammad (saw) said that it is like a person leaves his herd of sheep graze near a land of a king.  now this person can't control each n every single sheep and if one of em strays onto forbidden area, this person is blameworthy, but same time we also know the hadith that actions are by intention.  the reason me mentioning it here is alhamdulillah showing some1 the straight path is noblest of causes but sister needs to ask herself, would she have tried in the same manner if she was not interested in the guy?  is she trying to bring some1 in fold of this beautiful deen bcos our Lord, the Majestic deserves to be recognized and worshiped by each n every sould r is she doing it to make this guy halal for herself? is the guy only interested in Islam bcos he is interested in this sister r is he a seeker of truth? sister needs to ask herself these question knowing the fact 'We created man and We know what dark suggestions his soul makes to him and We are nearer to him than his jugular vein'. (50:16)

Honestly sis, we all get so confused in this word 'love' true love is only for Allah swt and for sake of Allah swt, if this sister can leave anything n anyone including family, deen and her lord then she loves him, otherwise its likeness r attachment any1 feels for a nice person if u talk to him r her constantly, take it from some1 who's been there honestly once in prayer ask ur lord sincerely that u have fallen short, fell into something which is not allowed and no one is there to help u but Allah swt as He has power to change hearts and pray that ur heart settles and gets peace with whateva is good for u with ur lord, for this world n next and then refrain from disallowed and if this person is meant to be then it will be, and im sure there are going to b practising brothers around if u think guy is sincere in his quest or even he is on a quest for truth then direct him to a knowledgealble brother and pray for goodness for both of u, because if he reverts even if he dont end up wiv u, for rest of his life u get share of rewards for whateva good he does without  his reward lessenin a bit, so subhanAllah just remember this sis that shaytan runs in our veins like blood and only way to deal wiv his whisperin is seek refuge in The One who sees him and tackles with him where we cant,  say to the sister that give place in ur heart to The Lord of everything that exist and inshaAllah matters will become easier for this sister

wassalam

p.s. sorry bout font i cudn't find a way to change it back

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ASHI
 
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Quote ASHI Replybullet Posted: 17 March 2006 at 9:39pm

Salaam sister Fatima

thank u for providing me with ur suggestions...have conveyed the same 2 my friend,.....

we all dont know wot's in store for my friend....lets hope for the best..inshallah everything will be alright....

n hey its ok that u cudnt change the font.... i cud read n understand it n that is more than enough i guess....

JazaakAllah khair.

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