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Kaleemah
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Quote Kaleemah Replybullet Topic: Feeling lost
    Posted: 07 August 2014 at 6:06pm

Salaam alaikum sisters,

I've just joined this forum because I've been feeling a little lost.

I am a revert to Islam. I came to Islam over 9 years ago and thanks to some amazing Muslim friends from my university they assisted and helped me take my shahada, taught me to pray and to take the first steps in becoming a Muslim, alhumdulillah. May Allah reward them.

I think the experience overwhelmed me. My parents did not accept my reversion. They were very worried about me and always looking over my shoulder and into my room to make sure I wasn't doing salat. Then my closest Muslim friend started making comments about getting me married and then started talking about being a 2nd wife...

All thanks to Allah, but I am now grown and moved out of my parents house and am praying again. But now I have lost touch with the Muslim community. My uni friends have either moved back to their home countries and I have lost touch with them.  I have contacted a Muslim friend of mine and told her that I am Muslim but she just doesn't seem interested.

I contacted my local Masjid (5 mins away) but they haven't replied to my email. I then contacted them on facebook. They said they will see if they have anything to help me but I have not heard back.

I am feeling quite lost really and am thinking whether Allah (swt) really wants me to be a Muslim.

Should I just go to the Masjid? I don't know anyone? Maybe I can ask my Muslim friend that next time she goes to bring me along with her, inshallah.

To top it off I have a daughter now (alhumdulillah) and I want her to be part of the Muslim community... but... how?

Jazakallah Khair sisters.
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Aighar
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Quote Aighar Replybullet Posted: 09 August 2014 at 2:24am
Assalamu alaykum sister...Alhamdullilah for having that desire in your heart to become part of the Muslim community. I advise you to go to Masjid. Dont worry if nobody knows you... Let me tell you im a newly revert too last march 15 this year..but i practice doing the salah just last Ramadan. Im living with my Christian cousins so what I did after work I pray in the masjid...Alhamdullilah i met sisters there and they helped me (May Allah bless them!)...they even introduce me to an islamic center.... just don't be afraid going to Masjid..consider it as your first step and Allah will do the rest... :)

Edited by Aighar - 09 August 2014 at 4:12am
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Abu Loren
 
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Quote Abu Loren Replybullet Posted: 09 August 2014 at 5:15am
Wa Alaikum Asa;aam

I am not a sister but I hope you don't mind me advising you as I understand your situation as I too am a revert Alhmadulilah.

Becoming a Muslim is a very special act because we can only become a Muslim or a person who submits to our Creator by His Will. So be grateful that you have guided to the only religion that is acceptable to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. After revertion it will be very difficult because satan works overtime to put doubts in your mind and to make you slip from the Straight Path.

Sometimes, if not always, reverts find themselves all alone because family and friends and those who we depend on desert us and look at us like lepers. This is a great test. We derive strength by reading the Qur'an and the Hadiths and makind du'a and Dhikr. Remembrance of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala fills the void that is in the heart and soul and it strengthens our imaan.

Try to pray at the masjid whenever you can because you will receive multiple rewards if you pray in a congregation. Also you will meet and make female friends In Shaa Allah who could help you further. A word of warning though. some people including sisters can be a bit aloof. This may not be deliberate on their part, sometimes people only stick with their own ethnicity and you may feel that you are being ignored. Sometimes it is downright racism, unfortunately. The masjid and the people who work there particularly the imam have a responsibility to help people that requires help. The least you could do is ask. It may look like a daunting task going to the masjid for the first time but there is nothing to worry as the other people who go there are also human beings. Actually Muslims in the whole are more friendly and helpful than any other people Alahmdulilah. So after a while In Shaa Allah you will be part of the community and you can strengthen your iaman further when you pray at the masjid and when you hear the Words of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala being recited in Arabic.

The easiest thing to do is to give up and go back to the easy life that you had and lose everything. Sabr or patience is needed and remember this life is a test and if you want to pass the test and live ternity with your Maker then you must follow His rules and regulations.

Make du'a to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala to strengthen your imaan and to give you knowledge and wisdom.

Salaam
In Dar Ul Kuffar (UK)
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Kaleemah
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Quote Kaleemah Replybullet Posted: 10 August 2014 at 5:25am
Salaam alaikum, wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

Thank you for your advice! Jazakallah khair. I think you are right . It is a test. It has tried my patience and I've recently found out some of my non Muslim friends have excluded me from something important (a child's birthday party) it seems trivial but it's one of a few things which have happened which have made me realise they don't want me as a friend anymore. I have no idea what I've done to offend them...



I have been to a masjid before and I have noticed that the sisters do break up into their ethnic groups. But I haven't been to a masjid in so many years. I'm a little daunted by it really. My heart yearns to be connected to the masjid and other Muslims, inshallah.

I will keep praying and making du'a that Allah SWT will guide me correctly to keep my iman and deen strong through these tough times,

Salaam!
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Kaleemah
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Quote Kaleemah Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2014 at 6:25pm
Salaam alaikum sister! I didn't see your reply earlier.

So you reverted too? Mashallah. I know nothing about going to a masjid! I can't remember. When I went years ago I went with my sister friends and it was such a blur. I live only 5 minutes away.

How did you find it? Did you just go? 

You are right though. It is the first step inshallah.

Jazakallah Khair sister for your advice !

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Quote Avandie17 Replybullet Posted: 26 August 2014 at 10:12am
Salaam Alaykum Sister:
 
I joined this forum because I like you am a revert to islam 6 years last March and I too am faced with the same racism at my masjid.  I married my husband 5 years ago, this October and moved into his house and am attending his masjid that he belongs to.  I find the sisters there to break off into their own clicks and aren't very friendly.  But, it's about bonding with Allah and I don't let that deter me from attending the masjid. I go, say my salat when I'm able and leave.
 
Occasionally, like this past ramadaan, my husband and I cooked for the masjid for 15 days during ramadaan and the sisters were still stand offish with me.  But, again, I'm there to bond with Allah and receive his blessings.
 
I'm right now faced with a  new dilemma in my life.  My husband told me he's taking a 2nd wife and I'm so hurt by that.  I'm struggling with the decision if I should stay with him or ask for a divorce.  My husband is unemployed and has been for 5 of the 6 years of our marriage.  My husband has 3 children, but 2 of them lives with us in the house and the older son is married and has moved away on his own.
 
I'm struggling because my husband isn't supporting me or his kids, I'm the one who works and take care of the bills in the home and he's now staying out all night with the sister.  I believe he has already married her because my husband will not stay out like that unless he's married.  I've cried until my eyes hurt, and his response to me is he's sorry if I cannot accept what Allah has allowed the man. 
 
I was under the impression that the man must take care of the home and be able to provide all wives in the same condition.  He's currently not taking care of me and I'm really confused.  I don't want the frowns from Allah and I just don't know what to do.  I though the man is allowed to marry under conditions and he couldn't tell me what his reason is for taking a 2nd wife.  I believe he just want to satisfy his desire to bed another woman, that's why he married her.  I say their married because as I've said before, he's now staying at her house all night and look at me as if I've done something wrong.
 
I have no muslim sisters I can talk to about this, I have no one to talk to about this but him, I do however, have 4 sister by blood, but they are not muslim and they have no understanding as to what I'm going through.  I have been advise by them to leave my husband, but I'm still struggling with that idea as I want to please Allah.  However, I'm very unhappy about a lot of things thats going on in my marriage and have turned the other way as a means not to insult my husband or his manhood.   I now feel like I don't want to reach out to an Imaam because it's like I'm begging him to be with me.  I now feel a certain way about him as he's just changed the dynamics of our relationship.  I don't know if I can look at him the same way anymore.   
 
He did tell me that he sought this sister out and talked to her for a few months and now have decided that's he's going to marry her.  She's divorced with 3 kids and I feel so betrayed.  I have no children of my own as I cannot have kids and the thought of my husband being with another woman and a woman who have kids just hurt me to my core.  We promised each other that kids was not a factor because he already have 3 kids and I can be a mother to them as their mother have passed away.  Now, he's gone and taken a 2nd wife and one who could give him children.  I feel like my husband don't love me anymore, even though he say he does, but his actions say he don't.  I just don't know what to do.  I'm seeking some sound Islamic advise please, Inshallah!


Edited by Avandie17 - 26 August 2014 at 10:25am
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