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Groups – Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Women (Sisters)
Message Icon Topic: justice between man and woman. Post Reply Post New Topic
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Mihs
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Quote Mihs Replybullet Topic: justice between man and woman.
    Posted: 10 July 2014 at 4:39pm
Aoa. I want to ask a question that has been disturbing for a while now. I hope to get help from you soon. Islam allows men to have four wives and also keep the slave women. While the woman is to be loyal to her husband soleley. Is it fair towards a wife? She has to tolerate her husband being with many other women but has to be with him only? Justice? Then she has to please her husband whatever or however the husband may be. His displeasure could cause her to be in hell. But if he doesn`t fulfill all the wife`s rights, there`s simply no threat or punishment for men. They are just given a relaxed hand to treat their wives any way they want, and the wife has to be obedient no matter what. Even if she tolerated all this with patience solely for the reward of the hereafter, she again finds out that shell has to be with her husband in Jannah and not only him but his hoorein as well. Is it fair? Fine I know there will be no feelings of jealousy then but about now? Allah has given us feelings now in this world. How a woman will feel to know that she has to be loyal to a person who can have as many slave women to enjoy in this world and will have hoors in hereafter? A woman merely demands love and loyalty from a relatioship, why has Allah ignored her feelings just to fulfil a man`s wishes.? Does Islam favours men? And then a woman is made all dependent on man. She isn't allowed to have a second of freedom without husband`s permission. She like a caged bird in Islam. All the time spent in pleasing a husband who can be pleased by many women. And if she asks for divorce she`ll end up in hell. But a husband can throw her off whenever he wants and only the wife would be blamed for displeasing her husband. They are always dependent on men for finance can't even build up their self esteem by working without a husband`s permission. What are women given in this world and the hereafter? Is it fair? Please don't compare Islamic status with pure Islamic status of women. Islam considers the pleasures of men only. In all Quranic verses and sunnah, the word men is used. Please clarify in detail.

Edited by Mihs - 13 July 2014 at 4:40pm
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Rofexa
 
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Quote Rofexa Replybullet Posted: 16 July 2014 at 1:31pm
Wa 'alaykum Salaam Mihs,

The ayat that contains the information about polygamy states in surah An-Nisa(4:3) With respect to marrying widows, if you are afraid of not being able to maintain justice with her children, marry another woman of your choice or two or three or four (who have no children).

So for this I would like to give you this link it is very refreshing and eye opening.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/altmuslim/2012/09/why-is-polygamy-allowed-in-islam-how-is-it-best-practiced/


I do have one comment about polygamy, there are rules must be followed, It is the husbands responsibility to provide for all of the wives. Not haphazardly provide for one and give the others the leftovers. If you decide to join in a polygamist marriage, you must learn what your rights are, and then demand them period.

Now for the slave thing, well you know in this day and age we don't have them legally anyway. If a "man" has a slave, well he isn't a practicing Muslim. Meaning, as a Muslim who is following the rules of Islam, should be a person who also follows the rules of law in the country where they reside.

I know I am in the USA and not in country that is run culturally by a patriarchal hierarchy. You must take control learn what the differences are between Islamic law & patriarchal rule of law. Note: Patriarchal rule of law is often disguised as Islamic law. And that is simply not true, in Islam men and women are equal period. We have different roles and responsibilities; however, we are equal in the site of Allah period.

You must take control of your life, harness your ability to ask question and read, not just the Qur’an unless you are an Arab, the definition of an Arab is someone who if fluent Arabic, meaning reading and understanding what is read in Arabic not a translation.  

The reason I gave you this definition is your comment “In all Quranic verses and sunnah, the word men is used.”

The Arabic language and the grammar rules state all nouns and adjectives in Arabic must indicate gender (feminine or masculine) whether they refer to animate or inanimate objects. Note: that if a speaker is in a room full of women the conversation will remain entirely feminine with grammar rules. However, if one man enters the room, the grammar rules state that the context of the conversation is to switch to masculine. Meaning that women are included in the text of the Qur’an.  

Stop being afraid of going to hell, you must learn your religion and even the laws of your country. To learn and understand what your rights and responsibilities are. You can control what you want to interpret, but don’t just let life passively go by. Own it and be grateful that Allah gave you a brain to reason with.

Take care and I do hope your Ramadan is going will may Allah accept. I also would like to wish you a happy pre-Eid Mubarak.  

Walaikumu Salaam, Your sister in Islam

''When the world pushes you to your knees you’re in the perfect position to pray'' ~ Rumi
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Mihs
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Quote Mihs Replybullet Posted: 18 July 2014 at 3:59am
Hello sister, thankyou for the link.. it truly opens eyes about what condition did Allah really set for a polygamous marriage..it's only a wrong interpretation by people that allow polygamous marriage without any restrictions..

What about my other questions of pleasing a husband and supressing one's feelings. And about hereafter?

Does Allah count the hurt feelings of a Muslim woman in polygamous marriage?
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