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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Need advise about stubborn and dominative wife Post Reply Post New Topic
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azgharkhan
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Quote azgharkhan Replybullet Topic: Need advise about stubborn and dominative wife
    Posted: 10 April 2014 at 3:02am
Hi All. I wanted some advise from all of you with a personal problem. I'm 32 years old male. I got married 2 months back to a 26 year old. My wife is Stubborn and dominative. She wants to live an extravagant life style regardless of how much I can afford. My take home salary is about 1,50,000 rupees (of which more than 1,00,000 goes for house construction and future investments, another 30,000 for household expenses like grocery, electricity, bills etc.). She is being rude to me lately and fighting with me (with support of their parents) that I need to pay her 25,000 per month for her own expenses. She is back in her home town for more than a month now and says she would come back only if I pay this money on monthly basis and also listen to everything else she says. Please advise what is right for me to do and how should I deal with her
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NABA
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Quote NABA Replybullet Posted: 10 April 2014 at 7:45pm
Assalamalecum,the only solution is Quran, revive fear of Allah in her, show the verse of ch 17 v 26-27 of Quran that those who spend unnecessarily are followers of Satan, tell her the behaviour of hers is displzing Allah bcoz Allah hates arrogant people.remember Allah in ch 8 v 29 says fear of Allah urges a person to distinguish between good n bad.
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azgharkhan
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Quote azgharkhan Replybullet Posted: 10 April 2014 at 9:41pm
JazakAllah Khair, Brother.. your reply mean a lot to me
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Abu Loren
 
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Quote Abu Loren Replybullet Posted: 11 April 2014 at 3:22am
Divorce her.
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 11 April 2014 at 10:12am
How much is she currently receiving for her own expenses?
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Al Saadiqeen21
 
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Quote Al Saadiqeen21 Replybullet Posted: 17 April 2014 at 3:43pm
Originally posted by Abu Loren

Divorce her.
 
I see you have this Hab-it  telling people what that sould do as if your Imaams . According to The Holy Qur'aan , And I Quote ....
Talaaq , Or Divorce is from the Arabic root word Talaq meaning ''To Fill , Being Set Loose From A Bond , To Divorce ''.  Divorce in Al Islaam although permitted is made to be discouraged and only as a last Resort . Only under certain circumstances and of good cause is Divorce Accepted . Either the Wife or the Husband can claim Divorce.
 
If a Woman wised to do so , She may return Her Dowry upon the decision of Divorce. However , The Holy Qur'aan does not allow the man to take the Dowry from her . In order to file for a Divorce, According to Islamic Laws, Certain stipulation must be followed . For instance Divorce is not permissible if the Woman is Pregnant , or on her menses . Since Divorce is Frowned Upon , It is not final until Four Months after the Divorce was declared . This waiting period will allow the couple a chance for Reconciliation .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 4 ; 4 , 24 -25 Revealed In The Year 625 - 627 A.D. Al Nisaa ( The Enosite Women ) Says , And give Al Nisaa-a 'The Enosite Women , Saduqaatihinna 'Their Dowries , as a Nahlatan 'Gift -Free Will Offering ; so if they allow for you all ( males ) any of the Dowry willingly , so you , ( the males ) are welcome to it , with enjoyment . Verses 24 . And ( also , forbidden unto you are ) Al Muhsanaat 'The Chaste', from the Enosit women ( women who marry as Virgins ) , except for those who you rule by your right hand ( women under your care ) Allah has Kitaaba 'Inscribed , ( in His scriptures by his hands ; for you all and Unilla 'Make Lawful for you all that which is behind for you all , that you all should seek by way of your wealth Muhsineen 'Chaste , Virgins without haveing Musaafiheem 'Premarital Sex and as whom you all have enjoyed by way of it from amongst them , you all are to give them for a limited period .Itis a duty . And there is no crime upon you all in that which whom you all have enjoyed by way of it from after the duty . Surely , The Source Allah is Aliymaan 'Knowing Hakiymaan 'All Wise . Verse 25 . And those if you who are unable , ( not rich enought ) to marry chaste , Enosite women , who are faithful ; then marry those , from amongst the faithful maidens , young Virgins, whom your right hand possesses , ( women under your care ) , for The Source , Allah knows ( best ) your true faith ; how some of you are from others of you - ( Tribes And Families , And Kin ) . So marry them with the permission of their family , and given them their Dowries in fairness , and kindness . They must be chaste women , Virgins , not Musaafihaat 'Fornicators - ( Enosites having premarital sex ) , nor taking ( having ) Akhdaanin 'Secret Affairs . So when they had been chaste women , ( not having had premarital sex ) , so if they bring Faahishat 'Obscene ( indecncy ) , so they are only entitled to have half the punishment , ( pain of Hell . That which is inscribed for the chaste women , virgins ) , That is for hm amongst you all , who dreads falling into evil , and you should be patient ; it is good , for you And The Source , is Ghafuwrun 'Forgiving , Rahiymun 'Most Merciful .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 2 ; 237  Revealed In The Year 624 - 626 A.D. Al Baqarah ( The Heifer ) , Says ; And if you Divorce them before you have Touched Them ( sexually ) , but after having decided the Dowry , then you should give them half of the promised payments , except if they pardon it or he , ( the groom ) , relinquishes the whole Dowry by way of him who holds the marriage contract . To relinquish his way is more righteous for those who tremble at the mention of The Source Allah and don't forget the favor between yourselves Surely , The Source , Allah sees all that you do .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 2 ; 227, 230 -231,  Revealed In The Year 624 - 626 A.D. Al Baqarah ( The Heifer ) , Says ; And if they decide on Al Talaaq 'Divorce , then surely He The Source , Allah is a Samiy'un Hearing , 'Aliymun All Knowing Allah . Verse 230 , So if , he Divorces her , she is not lawful for him until after ( his former wife ) marries a husband other than him . So if ( the second husband ) Divorces her, then it is not a crime ( sin ) on them , ( the Divorce woman and her formal husband ) , if they return ( to each other ) ; if they think that they can unkeep the limits of The Source , Allah ; He makes them clear for a kindred who know . Verse 231 . And when you Divorced women and they had reached their prescobed time ( for Divorce , which is Four Months ) , then either retain them ( to live in your house ) in fairness , or set them free in fairness ; and don't retain them ( the Divorced women ) to hurt them or to exceed ( the time ) and as for him who does this , indeed his spirit is in a state of unjustness ; and don't take the signs of Allah , as something to mock and remember the grace of The Source on you , and what He The Source sent down to you all of the scriptures ( Qur'aan ) , and Al Hikmah 'The Wisdom , He admonishes you by it ; and tremble at the mention of The Source and know that in all things , Allah is Aliymun 'Ever Knowing . ( Also refer to verses 232 - 241 , Refering to Remarriage After Divorce Provision For Divorces ) .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 65 ; 1 Revealed In The Year 627 - 628 A.D.  Talaaq ( The Divorce ) , Says ; O you , Al Nabiyy 'The Newsbearer ( Muhammad ) when ( you and your followers ) Tallaqtum 'Divorce , Al Nisaa 'The ( Enosite ) Women so Talliquwhunna 'Divorce Them for 'Iddatihinna 'Divorce Them for Iddatihinna 'Their Prescribed Term ( which is three months ) and count the prescribed term ; and tremble at the ment of The Source Allah your Rabb ; don't make them go from their Buyuwt 'House , and they shouldn't leave except if they come with clear Faahishat 'Abominable ( Dishonorable , Evils ) Deeds ; and these are the Huduwd 'Limits , of The Source Allah and whoever transgresses the limits of The Source , Allah , so indeed he has made himself Dhalama 'Unjust . You don't know that perhaps The Source Allah will brings a Hadiyth 'Tale after that Amr ' Affair , Command ( he may change the situation and you want to get back together ) .
 
The Prophet Muhammad ( Pbuh ) and his followers are to count ( The Enosites Women 'Iddah ) , If they Divorce Them , Be kind to ( The Women ) after their Iddah , The Source is Sufficient for he who puts his trust in him , For the ( Women ) , Who have reached Menopause , Their fixed term is Three Months , And the Ahmaal is after their pregnancy , Have two male watchers who will be just , The Source has the power to make everything happen , You are to let The Women dwell whereever you dwell , The Source will make things Yusraam , After the Usr , The Heavenly Host will hold account the villages that disobeyed with a shadiyd chastisement , The Source Allah has sent The Holy Qur'aan as a reminder , Also refer to Holy Qur'aan 2 ; 1 - 10 .
 
Ahmad recites The Holy Qur'aan , So perhaps you all will perfect yourselves and get out of the zulumaat , There is jannat for those who work to perfect themselves , The Source is he who Khalaq The Samaawaat And Earth , The Source is qadiyr over everything , He surrounds everything with his Knowldge . Also refer to Holy Qur'aan 2 ; 11 - 12 ,
 
Kawthar  meaning ''Multitude '' Comes from the Arabic root word Kathiyr meaning '' To Be Superior In Number , Utmost , The Ultimate '' The chapter Kawthar was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad ( Pbuh ) , In order to inform him , That he will inherit a New Kind of Wealth which was not based on Materialism , But Spiritualism . Kawthar is also the name of a river , In which you call Paradise . It is here , That it is said , The Heavenly Host wash the Hearts of the Mukhlasiyna , Meaning ''Purified , Sincred One The Holy Qur'aan 12 ; 24 , 109 ; 1 , So that they can appreciate the Beauties of the abode , Called Paradise .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 12 ; 24  , Revealed In The Year 620 A.D. Yosafe ( Joseph ) , Says ; And indeed she , ( Zulaykhaa wife of Aziyz / Potiphar ) had it in her mind to seduce him ( Yosafe ) and it was in his mind also for her ; if it were not that he saw proof against it from his Rabb 'Master . We Heavenly Host also diverted him from such an act of evil and shameful deeds . Surely , he was from our slaves , Al Mukhlasiyn 'The Purified .
 
The Holy Qur'aan 109 ; 1  , Revealed In The Year 615 A.D. Al Kaafiruwm ( Those Who Conceal That Which They Know To Be The Truth ) Says ; Say ; O you Al Kaafiruwn ''Those Who Conceal That Which They Know To Be The Truth.
 
The Holy Qur'aan 108 , Revealed In The Year 614 A.D. Al Kawthar ( The Utmost ) , Says ; Surely We Heavenly Host have given unto you , ( Ahmad ) the Kawthar 'Utmost . Verse 2 . So send salutations as worship to your Rabb, 'Sustainer / Master ' and perform blood sacrifices . Verse 3 . Certainly the bitter and evil ones who hate you , ( Muhammad ) will not have any future , for ) they are Abtar 'Cut Off .
 
 
 
 
 
One doesn't go to school let His / her's mind to die , They go to school so that their mind will come alive .

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