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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Parents don't agree on relationship! Help? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Katyando
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Quote Katyando Replybullet Topic: Parents don't agree on relationship! Help?
    Posted: 07 April 2014 at 4:44pm
I am a Pakistani 22 year old male fell in love with a white English girl who I am madly in love with and want to marry. But recently my parents found out about our relationship before I was able to talk to them and my parents have made it very clear that they don't want me to marry this girl because she is not Muslim from birth.They have given me an ultimatum if I want to marry this girl I have Leave my family home and lose everything., but i don't know what to do? As I don't want to lose either off them.

They feel that this girl will take me for everything I have and divorce me within six months of being married, they think that she will cheat on me while I'm at work and leave me once she has got what she wants but they won't listen to me when I tell them that she isn't like other white girls.

I am her first boyfriend, and she is currently learning about Islam and Asian culture in hope to convert soon, she made this decision by her self as she felt the religion made her a better person, she has stopped drinking and clubbing and is willing to do anything for me. I trust my girlfriend 100% and she has even offered to sign some form of prenup to say that she doesn't want anything from me if the relationship doesn't work and I don't know anyone who would do that.

My parents don't seem to want to take me seriously and I don't know what to do? How can I make my parents see that this girl is the one for me? The love of my life?

If any one can help

Thanks
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Abu Loren
 
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Quote Abu Loren Replybullet Posted: 08 April 2014 at 4:18am
Asalaamu Alaykum

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this dilemma.


Originally posted by Katyando

I am a Pakistani 22 year old male fell in love with a white English girl who I am madly in love with and want to marry. But recently my parents found out about our relationship before I was able to talk to them and my parents have made it very clear that they don't want me to marry this girl because she is not Muslim from birth.They have given me an ultimatum if I want to marry this girl I have Leave my family home and lose everything., but i don't know what to do? As I don't want to lose either off them.



First of all I don't know if you are a 'practicing Muslim' because to begin with this relationship is haram. Secondly, I would say that all parents have expectations for their children. I don't know about your community there but it could be that they are also embarrassed that an English girl would soon be their daugher-in-law. There are of course so many factors but I'm just trying to be easy here.

Originally posted by Katyando



They feel that this girl will take me for everything I have and divorce me within six months of being married, they think that she will cheat on me while I'm at work and leave me once she has got what she wants but they won't listen to me when I tell them that she isn't like other white girls.



These are stereotypes that all Asian parents have about other races, however they could be right as English girls do tend to be like as they have described.

Originally posted by Katyando



I am her first boyfriend, and she is currently learning about Islam and Asian culture in hope to convert soon, she made this decision by her self as she felt the religion made her a better person, she has stopped drinking and clubbing and is willing to do anything for me. I trust my girlfriend 100% and she has even offered to sign some form of prenup to say that she doesn't want anything from me if the relationship doesn't work and I don't know anyone who would do that.



Nobody can predict the future, if you marry her she could turn out to the best wife there is or what your parents have described. How are we to know?

Originally posted by Katyando



My parents don't seem to want to take me seriously and I don't know what to do? How can I make my parents see that this girl is the one for me? The love of my life?

If any one can help

Thanks


There are so many people come on this forum and ask 'what can I do? Should I please my parents or my wife to be?'

If you are a practicing Muslim then the next step could be to pray Istikhara and ask for Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la's help in this matter.

Salaam
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