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Family Matter
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ahmadabdalla08
 
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Quote ahmadabdalla08 Replybullet Topic: Marriage problem please help
    Posted: 13 March 2014 at 11:46pm
Hello everyone my name is Ahmad. I am an American born Palestinian American. I would love to hear what you think on my problem as I need help. 4 years ago I started a relationship, when I say relationship I pretty much mean dating, with an Indian girl whose name is Nadiya. While I am not a perfect muslim I do pray and want my wife to help me inshallah. I have made many mistakes along the way, but she is the only woman on this earth I care for in the manner a husband would care for his wife. Now she has lived with her parents the whole time and for a short time they approved of me because we had planned on getting married and we actually hadn't done anything bad. Down the road she had asked to get married and while I wanted this my father would not approve as I am the youngest of 4 men and none of them were married, and I hadn't finished schooling yet. So despite my request it was denied and thus I had to deny hers as well. But in doing so her family had found out and because of this they changed from approval of me to denying me. It wasn't long later me and her started talking again and I told her that as soon as my brothers were to get married and I am able to finish school, I will come ask for her hand in marriage. It wasn't until very recently that her father told her that no matter what he will not approve of me marrying her. Im in talks with my father right now about taking her hand in Marriage. But I am scared that her father will deny my request.

If there is anyone that may be able to give me some advice on how to quell this situation or ease her fathers mind about me being serious please let me know. She means a great deal to me and losing her would feel like losing my heart and my soul. I am also open to questions if you need to know more. Just so you know I have never cheated on her or done anything as such. She does want to marry me so its not going against her, just want to be sure that when I go an ask for her hand I have thought of everything.

Thank You :)

Edited by ahmadabdalla08 - 13 March 2014 at 11:51pm
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angel4u
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Quote angel4u Replybullet Posted: 17 March 2014 at 5:46am
Asalam alaikum brother.

may allah ease your problem. There are a few thing, 1) did you know marrying a girl apart of a muslim girl is forbidden. 2) if you do you will have to teach her into islam kindly so she can become a muslim. thats the first important thing. you sound really young to me if you have not finished scholling. My cousin got enjaged at young age was happy for a year then broke. so there are many questions here. does she love you too? will she accept a change, is she willing to adapt herself because of you? if i am wrong because nadiya sounds muslim. then riether than creating sins of seeing her and dating i dont aee any reason why you should not do your nikkah with. it does not matter if your brothers are not married because maybe they will take long to find someone that they like.

my situation was same. my husband at time confessed from the bottomnof his heart he explained his feelings and that he loves me want me to be his partner and will make me happy and will. he said hes not rich but will always try his best. alhumdulila now having 3 children we are happy. i also changed myself for him because i loved him.

buf remember if she has the same feelings for you then this relationship will work because she can also convince her father that she would only marry you. so its a two way hardwork in love marriafe especially when the parents dont agree. btw how old are you if you dont mind me asking??
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ahmadabdalla08
 
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Quote ahmadabdalla08 Replybullet Posted: 18 March 2014 at 5:45am
I am 23. She loves me and I love her. But she doesn't want to go against her family and I respect that bc she said she wants to do it right. I've talked to my father and we are going to make a formal proposal. Her father has never met me and he doesn't know how I am as a man. Even though I am not finished with medical school I work as an EMT or ambulance tech. I have been paying for all of her stuff and my stuff for the past few years anyways so I could still support us. I just don't know what to say to her father to convince him.
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angel4u
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Quote angel4u Replybullet Posted: 19 March 2014 at 4:39pm
then what are you waiting for?? how and what to say to her father. this feeling is normal as you are nervous. take it easy. i will see if i can find you something.
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Quote angel4u Replybullet Posted: 19 March 2014 at 4:50pm

 Hey hope these tips will help you. I picked up these from internet.

start out expressing your feelings for his daughter. I think the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. Tell him how much she means to you. Mention some specific qualities that you love about her. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time

Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Now it’s time to cut to the chase. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Assure him that you understand the seriousness of the commitment and that being able to spend the rest of your life with his daughter would make you the happiest man in the world.

Promise him that you’ll take care of his daughter for the rest of her life. Put yourself in this man’s shoes. He’s been the man in her life since she was baby. He’s taken care of her since she was in diapers and only wants the best for her. He wants to know that he’s handing off his little girl to someone that will take just as good care of her as he has. Make the commitment that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter.

Respectfully ask for his blessing. Now, just request his blessing and support in you asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
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angel4u
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Quote angel4u Replybullet Posted: 19 March 2014 at 5:00pm
inshala everything will be alright. what else would a girls father want, if a guy loves his daughter that much. trust me he will say yes inshalah but you need to put your words together follow theses step. in your diary write it down just remember that this day will be your only chance to convince him so then go for it be as sweet as you can only good comments, also comment on their health or their upbringing of such lovely girl. gentle voice and plus proposals are again and again until they get tired and say OK!. so dont get upset if he says he will think about it. give him time but let him know how you feel about her and how serious you are.
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Quote ahmadabdalla08 Replybullet Posted: 20 March 2014 at 3:43am
Thank you very much. I know that you had to go out of your way to do all if this. It has really given me confidence though. I've talked to my parents and inshallah we will go soon. I will post back on here letting you know how it goes. Thank you so much.
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Quote angel4u Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2014 at 2:37pm
oh your welcome. let me know the updates :)

go with confidence. you can do it inshala :)
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