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Message Icon Topic: How do I tell my future husband know I was raped? Post Reply Post New Topic
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NABA
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Quote NABA Replybullet Posted: 16 March 2014 at 9:13pm
Walecum As Salaam, Allah is most merciful n forgiving.it is good u hv repented, pray to Allah constantly and have taqwa in Sha Allah will solve ur problem bcoz Allah says if u fear Allah, Allah will provide help from unimaginable sources (ch 65 v 2-3).
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 17 March 2014 at 7:48am
Originally posted by Sarh777

... but my fear lies on the fact that if I don't tell my future husband beforehand that I am not a virgin, he will find out anyways. And this is what worries me and confuses me about my future actions....


How do you imagine he will find out without you telling him? And once you tell him, know that you will be subjected to a detailed deposition, which frankly speaking, is none of his business. It is a knowledge that does not benefit and only harms.
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Sarh777
 
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Quote Sarh777 Replybullet Posted: 19 March 2014 at 12:04am
Originally posted by abuayisha



How do you imagine he will find out without you telling him? And once you tell him, know that you will be subjected to a detailed deposition, which frankly speaking, is none of his business. It is a knowledge that does not benefit and only harms.


This sounds graphic and my apologies.. but my hymen is not there, which means I will not bleed anymore the first time it happens with my husband.... what do I do then? Lie about my hymen?
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 20 March 2014 at 9:18pm
Educate yourself regarding the hymen and bleeding. Once you have done this you will know that won't be an issue. He will never know you're not a virgin unless you unwisely volunteer this information.
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NABA
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Quote NABA Replybullet Posted: 03 April 2014 at 1:08am
Assalamalecum,I think u shud tell ur husband, bcoz one day or the other he will know.have faith in Allah n tell ur husband the truth.
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 11 January 2015 at 4:55pm
as salaamoalaikum sister. I agree 100 percent with Abuyisha. No one knows if you are a virgin. Just like no one knows if a man is a virgin. You need to educate yourself about the hymen. A hymen can grow back. It can easily get broken even if you fall off a bicycle. If you make love with your husband, and you do not bleed it does not mean that you are not a virgin. Caringheart is not a muslim and so therefore, she will give you advise that is from what she thinks Christianity is. So please be careful with taking advise on these forums. You may make a huge mistake by telling him that you were rape.

Edited by lady - 11 January 2015 at 5:00pm
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Caringheart
 
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Quote Caringheart Replybullet Posted: 13 January 2015 at 7:10am
Greetings Lady,

I think it is interesting that you think that a Christian can not give good advice in matters of life.
I would never think that a muslim could not offer me good advice in matters of life.

asalaam and blessings,
Caringheart
Let us seek Truth together
Blessed be God forever
"I believe in Jesus as I believe in the sun... not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.: - C.S.Lewis
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 13 January 2015 at 8:51am
As abuayisha has noted, this isn't a good thread to get into a theological debate, and please note Sarh777 that I am not a Muslim; but I think there are a couple of more relevant questions that others may want to address:

1. What would a good Muslim man do if his prospective bride told him that she had been raped?

2. If he is not a good Muslim man, should you really want to marry him?

Perhaps this will be a test, for both of you.  If the two of you can get past this, then your marriage should be solid and lasting.  If not, then maybe it's just as well.

At any rate, I think everyone agrees that there is no need for shame.  At worst you made a mistake (which we all do), and you learned from it (which many of us unfortunately don't).  So that's a good thing. Smile Although I hope that what you learned was to avoid compromising situations where you have little or no control, rather than avoiding men altogether.  Most men are not like that.


Edited by Ron Webb - 13 January 2015 at 9:05am
Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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