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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: international child custody, need websites pls Post Reply Post New Topic
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sakeena2014
 
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Quote sakeena2014 Replybullet Topic: international child custody, need websites pls
    Posted: 08 January 2014 at 3:57am
Asalamwalaikum,
I pray someone can help. I have a long complicated issue.

My husband, my 3 yr old son & I are all US citizens. My husband & I are different culturally originating from India & Nepal. My husband & I each got our education during marriage itself from 2 different countries. I was in US & my husband in India. During this time I dropped my son to inlaws in a different country all together so he could be cared for. This was for 2 years.

I graduated & joined my husband in India. Though he did initially say he would return to US, i sensed a change of heart for quite sometime. When I arrived in India it was evident he wanted to live there permanently. He did not allow me to travel abroad with my son (for vacation to see my family). I was allowed but not w/ my son. Then we got into a fight & he outright claimed Im not allowed to have my son unless I lived in India. He left our son with my inlaws who know I did not want this. I lwas forced to leave country due to such circumstances.

A few things, a promise was made by my husband prior to marriage that he was not the kind to ever live in India & we would never have to live in India. My husband from the beginning of marriage has not financially supported me but due to being a student. I also did have the knowledge prior to marriage that he wouldn't be able to support me for quite sometime due to student status. My husband has displayed disturbing behavior of violence in the past but did stop completely. I honestly felt scared to even temporarily move to India because of his arrogant/agressive behavior though my husband thinks I make this up. I have never lived in Nepal or India (not my country) & do not think that my husband is thinking of how he should make the standards of living for myself the same as it was prior to marriage. My husband also states that he will not follow shariah law & give me my son because I do not follow islam perfectly, such as travelling w/o mahram.

Please can anyone suggest who I can contact? Ive went to many islamic websites but cant seem to post my questions/topic.

Can any of you help with my questions?

I do not wish to divorce my husband but due the situation we are in I do not want to live in India. From my heart I am scared. For me this is a great betrayal from him & my inlaws. I goto India, where I know no one. I do not know the language. And he takes my son from me. I was willing to compromise before to keep the marriage intact but as each day passes w/o my son I find I dont think I can even reconcile with him.

If I want to seperate from my husband (but not divorce), can I take back my son & return to US? I would be willing to give him all rights even if my son lives with him in US & not me but as long as we are in US. Can I use the US legal system to get my son? Is that accepted by shariah law? Also, the main question what is the country of jurisprudence under shariah law? Do any of you know who I can contact regarding shariah law??   Our marriage contract took place in Kuwait. Most of our marriage duration was in US. My son & I were born in US. My husband naturalized US citizen by marriage to me. When my husband took my son it was in India. The 2 years my son was w/o me was in Kuwait.
Also it says in islamic sites that at age 7 the father has the right to the son. But some websites say they allow the child to choose, another says the father can forcibly take the child at 7 but this is after divorce. Does this also pertain to separation?

Although I feel my husband is infringing on my right as a mother, I do not want to infringe on my husband's nor my son's so I want to get all knowledge I can regarding this. If you cannot answer these questions, please just pray for me. It's unbearable to be without my son.
Jazakallah khair
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 08 January 2014 at 5:32pm
Wa alaikum salaam, and may Allah, Most High, bless you and your family with a just and happy resolution. Your legal questions regarding jurisdiction should be given to an attorney in the US and India for advice. The issue of custody in Islamic fiqh has basic principles, however a judge will look at what is in the best interest of the child given the caregivers' situation.

If your husband made a contractual agreement that he would not live in India, then he should honor the marriage contract. If not contractual, people do change with time and circumstances, and couples must adjust to new realities with patience and prayer.

It seems that you are giving up a tremendous amount (husband and child) to live in America. I think you should try to manage living in India. Perhaps in time you will meet new friends, learn the language and keep your family together. He may in time even decide to move to America, and through you willingness to settle in India, you will gain his trust to allow you to travel with your son. The entire family unit has lived apart for much of this relationship and maybe it is now time to live together as family even if in India for a time.
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