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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: should I marry a guy I Love? Post Reply Post New Topic
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ahir
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Quote ahir Replybullet Topic: should I marry a guy I Love?
    Posted: 02 January 2014 at 5:56am
Assalumu alaikum,
I'm a recent graduate and I was doing my very first job. I love a guy. My parents, specially my mom is not accepting his proposal for my hand in marriage. They say he is okay but I deserve a lot better.

He has a financial issue, that is, we can't afford a car or a lavish wedding right now. He is at his earlier career and doesn't earn too much but enough for the two of us. Though it's not a forever situation. A stable life is waiting in near future. If I had continued with my job it would not be hard to continue our married life financially for now but my parents forced me to quit the job(I can find another job though). Moreover I don't want a big fat wedding, it's prohibited in Islam. But my parents take it as a prestige issue.

I lead a Islamic life and we never do the modern datings.I have maintained all sort of distance that are asked in Islam very consciously.

Still for the sake of my parents, I thought of leaving him. But it's really unbearable to think of my life without him. If I marry someone else, I don't think I would be able to make them happy. I've started to hate myself, and I can't take it anymore. please give me an Islamic solution for my problem.

P.S: my parents fixed my marriage twice before(with the same guy) Both time my family broke that engagement where I played no role except getting hurt. I met my bf amidst of these two engagements. He is the one who comforted me while I was in such a pain. Will I burn into hell for marrying him without my parents approval?

Edited by ahir - 02 January 2014 at 6:37am
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NABA
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Quote NABA Replybullet Posted: 22 January 2014 at 7:28am
Assalamalecum, Allah in ch 4 v 19 says oh u believe it is not lawful for u to inherit women by compulsion.show this verse to ur parents, by this verse u cannot force girl to marry, if ur parents want to go islamically.
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 22 January 2014 at 8:39am
Maintaining "distance" is not only with respect to physical (touching and being alone), but young men and women should be careful with emotional intimacy, as well. You said he "comforted" you during a troubling period in your life, and unfortunately what often happens in these situations is that feelings of love and sexual tensions arise, thus our hearts fall for the person, "who comforted me while I was in such pain".
I believe that most parents certainly have the best interests of their children in mind, and with that, I suggest you adhere to their advice regarding marriage.
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