Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook
Advertisement:
         

Islam for non-Muslims
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Religion - Islam : Islam for non-Muslims
Message Icon Topic: can love overcome all these cultural differences - Post Reply Post New Topic
<< Prev Page  of 2
Author Message
Linnea
Female Christian
Starter.
Starter.


Joined: 29 December 2013
Location: Sweden
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Quote Linnea Replybullet Posted: 31 December 2013 at 9:15am
Dear Abu Loren,

Thank you for your reply!

I'll be careful but so far I've no reason to believe that he's just using me to come to Europe.

He told me once that it would be haram if he didn't have the intention of marrying me. Because somehow we have to stay in contact over this long distance and time and we're just talking on skype.

Yes, many marriages like that are doomed from the beginning...and I feel as if he isn't sure anymore. But well, we'll see. Only God knows how it'll go on.
IP IP Logged
honeto
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 March 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2397
Quote honeto Replybullet Posted: 01 January 2014 at 1:48pm
Originally posted by Linnea

Dear Honeto,

Thank you so much for your reply!
Reading your story helped me quite a lot because it showed me that it can work.
And I'm really happy for you and your wife - I hope you'll always be happy together.


I've started learning about Islam long before I met him. And he encourages me to learn more about Islam and told me that he hopes that I'll become a Muslim one day. I really like what I've read about Islam so far but converting is a big decision. I would never convert to Islam just because of him. I'd only do it if I was convinced that it's the truth and so far I have to learn much more about it to make such a decision. I remember when we were talking about children, he told me that our children have to be Muslims and I accepted it.

So far we get along together extremely well and we really love each other. We planned to marry next year but recently it seems that we both worry about our future together. I feel that he became somehow insecure. That's why I started this topic. Today he told me that he doesn't want me to regret it one day. That he's different than the Europeans. That he doesn't want to experience the day when I say that I can't stand it anymore. I told him that I love him for who he is. I love that he's religious. That he has values. I love him for his great personality. I wouldn't change him.

But all his worries made me worry if I can make him happy. Although I'm not the "typical" European girl (if you can say it like that). No ex-boyfriends, no parties, no male friends...but I'm also not like a woman from his culture. Can he be happy with me? I feel like he would be happier with a woman from his culture...

I truly love him and want him to be happy...and I'm afraid of losing him

I feel like there's a thunder storm in my head.


Salam Linnea,
I am glad what I wrote was of help to you. I am impressed with your approach toward this biggest step of your life with wisdom, sincerity and maturity. Difficulties and challenges are part of any major step in life, you have to deal with them and make your judgments based on your observations and past experiences.
True, never become Muslim for him or to marry him, rather for yourself. Keep the positive spirit, hope and pray to God Almighty to help you and guide you. And again remember to take your precautions and always foresee and be ready for what comes along the way. A true believer never breakdown when experience test and trials of this life. But don't forget to be cheerful and enjoy what God has provided for you lawfully.
Best wished,
Hasan

Edited by honeto - 01 January 2014 at 1:55pm
39:64 Proclaim: Is it some one other than God that you order me to worship, O you ignorant ones?"
IP IP Logged
Abu Loren
Male Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 29 June 2012
Location: United Arab Emirates
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 981
Quote Abu Loren Replybullet Posted: 03 January 2014 at 4:50am
Originally posted by Linnea

Dear Abu Loren,

Thank you for your reply!

I'll be careful but so far I've no reason to believe that he's just using me to come to Europe.

He told me once that it would be haram if he didn't have the intention of marrying me. Because somehow we have to stay in contact over this long distance and time and we're just talking on skype.

Yes, many marriages like that are doomed from the beginning...and I feel as if he isn't sure anymore. But well, we'll see. Only God knows how it'll go on.


I know I'm a bringer of doom and gloom on this forum but....

Now let's look at you and him realistically. You've learned a bit of Arabic and you know a little about Islam yet you are not convinced it is the religion for you YET. As for him, you say that he is religious and consider him to be a good Muslim. Ok let's say you both get married, what happens in a few years down the line that he wants you to be more religious and you want him to be a little less religious? What happens if there are culture clashes?

I'm not saying that your marriage will work out like that but just something to ponder.
IP IP Logged
Linnea
Female Christian
Starter.
Starter.


Joined: 29 December 2013
Location: Sweden
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5
Quote Linnea Replybullet Posted: 03 January 2014 at 5:11pm
Dear Abu Loren,

Yes, I consider him a good muslim.
This year during Ramadan, for example, we read surahs (or parts of a surah) together each evening and when I had questions about it, he explained it to me very well.

I really like that he is that religious. I wouldn't want to change this. And I'm religious, too. I believe in God, I pray every day, try to be a good person and avoid bad things...(but of course this doesn't always work - I'm just human after all).

I'm sure there would be some kind of culture clash...maybe such a culture clash would be our challenge whereas other couples face other challenges/problems in their marriage. No marriage is problem-free...

I can't deny that I'm worried about such possible culture clashes...but after long weeks of thinking and analysing I came to the conclusion that I really want to spend my life with him even if it includes some compromises.

He said that he prayed Istikhara. He was as confused/worried as I was but today he told me that he can't imagine his life without me. We really love each other.

I really hope it'll work...inshallah
IP IP Logged
ll0OoO0ll
Male Islam
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 26 April 2014
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 16
Quote ll0OoO0ll Replybullet Posted: 26 April 2014 at 4:29pm
I can have you get in touch with an Egyptian friend who married an American woman (white). They have three kids and they are living very happily. They spend time both here in the U.S. and also in Egypt. You can talk to his wife and get comfortable.

The success of marriage depends on how patient you are and how wisely you handle challenging situations. The golden rule is, NEVER look for faults and short comings in your spouse and ALWAYS appreciate the positives and good characteristic in your spouse. If a man and his wife BOTH follow this rule, they will inshallah always live happily.
IP IP Logged
truthfull
 
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 09 May 2014
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 67
Quote truthfull Replybullet Posted: 10 May 2014 at 1:39pm

Islam encourage serious relations like marriage

There are many people got married to christian

And they marriage survive

No one know what will happen in future


in islam shaking women hand consider as sin

And he brought his cousin because

Islam permit men to sit with women


You overwhelmed with islam

• there is solution ask him to pray
Estekhara. صلاة استخارة

No one will regret on his decision
If he pray estekhara



Be sure islam is truth path

Jesus confirm he is prophet in bible :

Jesus peace be upon him said :

Luke 13:31

33 But I must go on my way today, tomorrow, and the next day. A prophet of God cannot be killed outside of Jerusalem.


http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke 13:31-35


• jesus is prophet confirmed bible :

Matthew 21:11 The crowds answered, "This is Jesus, the prophet ...


• name prophet muhammad in bible ve torah

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wm3sZfPwv1g










Edited by truthfull - 10 May 2014 at 1:41pm
IP IP Logged
<< Prev Page  of 2
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at islamicity.com or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of www.arthafez.com

Advertisement:



Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program  http://www.islamicity.com/Donate
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning http://www.islamiCity.com/ArabAcademy
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions www.icDomain.com
Home for Muslim Tunes www.icTunes.com
Islamic Video Collections www.islamiTV.com
IslamiCity Marriage Site www.icMarriage.com