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Introduction: Who am I?
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : General : Introduction: Who am I?
Message Icon Topic: Assalamu aleikum everyone Post Reply Post New Topic
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Aminalief
 
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Quote Aminalief Replybullet Topic: Assalamu aleikum everyone
    Posted: 13 December 2013 at 3:27pm
Salaam aleikum,

I'm a young woman from the Netherlands. I reverted to Islam a little more than four years ago. My progress in adhering to the religion isn't going as I had hoped. This is part of the reason I registered on this forum. I need to get following the rules of the religion more closely and right now I feel like I need inspiration. I will tell you my story. Sorry if it's a bit long, but I want to get everything out now in the hope you will understand me better.

I live in an environment where most think believing in God is ridiculous and backward. Therefore I am ridiculous and backward according to these people. Not even because I am muslim (even though I don't where hijab fulltime yet, I make no secret of my beliefs), but because I believe in God in the first place. This is very frustrating. People here call those who believe in God st**id and pathetic. I find this even more concerning and upsetting than when I meet people who think only Islam is weird, but still believe in God themselves, or are at least open to the idea of God.

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does. It makes me feel insecure. Not about my faith itself, but about how I express it and what the consequences are.

I have lost friends on my journey to islam. People I thought were good friends. They 'accepted' my becoming muslim. But when I started actually living more as a muslim should (no drinking, no clubbing, shunning places like bars etc. where people purposely come to get drunk, or at least drink A LOT of alcohol, dressing more modestly etc.), they started judging me in a negative way. The comments were like 'if you are truly my friend, you come clubbing with me. I don't care if you don't drink, that means that you can drive me home afterwards', 'why are you being so uptight, one drink won't hurt anyone', and 'you live in a civilized country, act accordingly and don't be so backward'.

I was never a big drinker (I never liked the taste of alcohol), but becoming a teetotaller is considered overreacting and too extreme. This goes for covering up too. Dressing modestly is deemed ok, but hijab is extreme , weird, and according to some 'frightening'. They tell me I'm throwing myself back into the Middle Ages.

My reversion also had an impact on my working life. I got laid off at my last job, because I supposedly didn't fit in the company. My coworkers were ok, but my managers were very against islam and when my contract ended, wel.. It's really hard getting a job here now and that makes me even more insecure about things like wearing hijab to job interviews.

I feel quite lonely and desperate sometimes.. Make no mistake, I don't regret becoming muslim and I am happy with my faith in Allah. I just feel like I need some support. I want to get closer to Allah and I need to work on that. I need to start ignoring all the negative people and focus on the positive.

Thanks for reading my story. I hope to learn a lot here and get my inspiration back to stand strong against all the haters :)
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 14 December 2013 at 6:40am
Aminalief, welcome! How odd that you have come for inspiration, and having read your few lines, I have become inspired and grateful to Allah. People learn best by example and you can believe that you have made an impression upon those who knew you prior to your conversion to Islam. In time you will naturally begin to replace old friends with new ones who are positive and supportive. It just takes time. You may want to volunteer some of your time at a local Islamic Center, which should provide an opportunity to meet other Muslims. All the best, and thanks for sharing!
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islamispeace
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Quote islamispeace Replybullet Posted: 14 December 2013 at 11:28am
As-salaam alaikum sister.  I am sorry to hear of your experiences with those ignorant people.  Sometimes you find out who your true "friends" are when you do something that they don't agree with.  This is a trial from Allah (swt).  Keep praying to Him and He will guide you, inshaAllah. 

As brother abuayisha suggested, you should look for a local mosque or Islamic center.  That would be the best place to meet other Muslims which is the best way to get away from hostile unbelievers and end your feeling of isolation.   
Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds. (Surat al-Anaam: 162)

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