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Groups – Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Women (Sisters)
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Mata
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Quote Mata Replybullet Topic: I need advice ...
    Posted: 04 August 2013 at 2:25pm
Salam everyone,

I am muslim and I have always been but I haven't always practiced islam. I am not a virgin anymore and I have repented for my sins and I have fullfilled my duties as a muslim the best way I can ever since. (I am fromm a muslim country and even though people are religious women just don't cover themselves), I want to start wearing the veil but I am worried it might be hyppocritical because I'm not a virgin and an unmarried muslim woman is expected to be. Also, I am worried the muslim men (potential husbands) I meet hold that past mistake against me. Any advices? I am very worried.
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Rofexa
 
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Quote Rofexa Replybullet Posted: 06 August 2013 at 8:06pm
Assalaamu Alaikum Mata,

1st and Foremost Ramadan Kareem & Eid Mubarak‎

No one is perfect, it is not for us to judge. Allah is the Judge and he is the one who is Merciful. If you have truly repented then you must also forgive yourself.

I think you need to stop worrying about what other people think. I know it sounds easier said than done.

If you want to wear hijab then do it for the sake of Allah and he will make it easy for you. Allah will never give us something more then we can bear.

As far as being a hypocrite, those who judge you are the ones who need to worry. I understand that it can be challenging to follow the tenements of our faith. But look at what Allah gives us,isn’t it the least we could do?

Wa Alaikumu Salaam, Your sister in Islam
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Mata
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Quote Mata Replybullet Posted: 09 August 2013 at 1:39pm
Thank you for you time and answer Rofexa,

People don't know what I did, they don't judge me on that. I am the one who thinks it is wrong, if I wear the hijab I have the impression that I am deceiving people because a woman who wears the hijab is supposed to be all pure and everything whereas I am not. I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

Thank you again for your answer and Eid Mubarak to you too!
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Rofexa
 
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Quote Rofexa Replybullet Posted: 13 August 2013 at 12:33pm
Assalaamu Alaikum Mata,

I understand the guilt you feel, but again if you have truly repented then you must also forgive yourself.

You are not giving an “impression” or deceiving anyone by wearing Hijab period!!! It’s a private choice and has nothing to do with being “pure and everything “.

I am sure you have seen a sister or 2 who do wear Hijab and even the next step of niqab. They are committing the sin of backbiting and Gossiping. I use these as an example since women are easy pulled into this thru conversation and socializing. These are by no means small sins, they are also something that needs to be repented and atoned for.

I am by no means “pure and everything “, I have faults just like you. But, if I wear hijab I do it only for the sake of Allah and for Allah alone. I am so grateful for everything he has blessed me and my family with. That I try to reflect my gratitude with this small token.

I don’t want to sound like I am preaching, but we are so hard on ourselves and think we can’t be “better”. We can thru small steps and practice, daily remembrance and by choosing to do things for the sake of Allah and Allah alone are what we can do to become “better”.

Take care and live for Allah and he will take care of you.

Wa Alaikumu Salaam, Your sister in Islam
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Mata
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Quote Mata Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2013 at 2:48pm
Thank you sister, I appreciate. JazakAllah Khair
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Mata
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Quote Mata Replybullet Posted: 24 December 2013 at 3:56pm
As salamou aleikoum sister,

I just wanted to say that alhamdoulilah i have been wearing hijab for a little bit more than 3 months now. I couldn't have made that decision without you, honestly so i wanted to take this time and say thank you. May Allah reward you infinitely.

Take care
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 04 March 2014 at 2:26pm
Salaam Alaikum Sis Mata,

It is commendable that you want to change your life to be a better muslim inshAllah. In Islam, our past sins are our past sins, and we are not obligated to tell our past to our future spouses (or anyone for that matter). Our sins are between us and Allah (swt).

If you want to wear the hijab or niqab for the right reasons, go ahead! Don't worry about what people say or think. It is not being hypocritical because everybody is a sinner! And hijab does not mean we are automatically a good muslim anyway.

Being ''pure'' is not about our physical state of virginity, but a state of mind, behavior and attitude. If you have repented and want to be chaste, then it has nothing to do with your virginity!

All the best with your hijab venture! May Allah make it easy.
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Mata
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Quote Mata Replybullet Posted: 05 March 2014 at 8:10am
Wa aleikoum salam sister,

Thank you for your time and advice. I really appreciate. May Allah reward you. Amine

All the best,
Mata
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