IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: A "Person with two different lives."

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aishag88

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Topic: A "Person with two different lives."
Posted: 12 October 2005 at 11:43am

"When i read both stories you sound like a different person with two different lifes..."

Yes Sister, that is how I feel. One moment I am modest and calm, and the next I am angar and doing things I should not. Sisters, I don't think I should tell you all I have done...

Has anyone every felt like this?

Has anyone felt trapped? Like they trapped them selfs in something and don't know how to get out? They are confused and don't know what to do. I feel I need help, but everyone tells me the same thing, "Thats wrong, why are you doing this?! Its Haraam!"

I know its haraam, and I am not inngoring what I am doing is wrong, I know it is. I want to please Allah, but i keep giving in to wrong things. Ya Allah, Would I be a hypocrite?

I don't even know if i'm allowed to say that about myself...but I feel that I try to be good muslim, and at the same time i am being bad, doing bad things...

Salaam Alikum

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karimah

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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 12:43pm

Asalam Alaikum

Aishag88 I am sorry if i offended you i did not mean to. And yes i do feel like you sometimes.

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herjihad

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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 1:39pm

Bismillah,

Aisha, the devil wants to take control of our lives with guilt and depression as his tools.

Try to work on one or two things at a time that you think you can change permanently that are important to you and important to being a Muslim girl. If some people can do everything, then Allah, SWT, bless them.

I cannot and never have been able to. Maybe it's your age. I think when I was younger I thought I was supposed to do more. Well, I know that I am, but I know that Allah, SWT, is the Most Merciful. That means he is more merciful than anyone here or anywhere else who might want to condemn you or I.

Keep trying. May Allah, SWT, be with you always.

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.

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ummziba
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:16pm

Assalamu alaikum sister aisha,

It isn't easy being 17 for anybody! Add to that your struggle with Islam and dealing with family and school, is it any wonder you are feeling as you are!

Here are some things to try and remember:

Allah loves you. Our Merciful Creator loves you when you struggle to do the right thing. He loves you when you repent for doing the wrong thing. Allah's Mercy is so great He will forgive anything (except associating others with Him). Turn to Allah in sincerity. Pray. Ask forgiveness for anything that needs to be forgiven. Keep struggling to do the right thing.
The life of this world is a trial for all of us, we all have good times and bad times, good days and terrible days, good thoughts and bad thoughts, and we all struggle to do what is right. As long as you keep the intention of serving Allah in your heart above all else, you will find it easier to do just that. When you falter, stop doing the wrong, ask sincerely for forgiveness from Allah, and try harder to not do it the next time.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a human being, and we are not perfect! Everyone makes mistakes or does the wrong thing sometimes. The important thing is to ask forgiveness from Allah, and try harder to do the right thing by keeping Allah in your mind and your heart at all times.
It is easy to get frustrated when one is trying to learn a lot of things. Be easy on yourself and listen to herjihad's good advice about learning a few things at a time instead of all at once, it is good advice.
There is always help for you. Spiritually, you can call on Allah anytime you need Him, He answers the prayers of all who pray sincerely. The sisters here are always happy to try to give advice or encouragement. You should try to get to know some sisters your age who are good role models for you (not ones who do the wrong things).
When you are feeling overwhelmed or confused, stop, take a few deep breathes and then say a prayer to Allah for help and guidance. Always try to think about the positive things in your life, rather than dwelling on any negative things. Try hard to keep the attitude that Allah is always watching you, so that you can act accordingly.
Remember, you are a Muslim, Allah loves you. Try hard to love Him back by doing the things that please Him! Give yourself a break -you deserve to be all that you can be. You deserve to have the love and mercy of your Lord. You are worthy of being a good person and a happy person.

Hope this helps a tiny bit!

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~

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hakeema
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Joined: 10 October 2005
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Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:54pm

As-Salaam Alaikum Sisters,

I like this forum website. I have been to other Islamic websites people are crazy and they argue too much. On here I feel a calm, cool, and collected energy on here. But I just want to add my two cents. All of us as muslims goes through this. When you make a decision to give your life totally to Allah, changes take place in your life. There are things you have to give up, so just take your time. Take one day at a time. Like Sister Ummziba said about being 17 or being a teenager wasn't easy for me also. High School was very depressing time for me, eventhough I wasn't muslim. You want to do what everyone else is doing. But as you learn you have to be who you are. You have to be your own person. Even if choose to be muslim or not, or wear hijab or not people are going to talk about you anyway. So be true to yourself.

Hakeema

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Dayem

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Posted: 13 October 2005 at 1:59am

Originally posted by Ummziba

It isn't easy being 17 for anybody!

Oh, I dont think I agree with u.Im 17 but dont feel any pressure.Dunno why.

"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM

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herjihad

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Posted: 13 October 2005 at 5:53am

Bismillah,

Dayem, that's very interesting! Tell us why life is easy for you as a 17-year old, please. (Do you live in India with your Muslim family or near a strong Muslim support system?)

Sometimes I see a happily married couple and I think that somebody's got to be happy and peaceful in this world!

Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.

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Dayem

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Posted: 15 October 2005 at 10:14am

You mean to say (herjihad) that I explain why my life is easy-peasy?Well, how to explain it-Alhamdullilah, Allah (swt) wants it that way-maybe?

I get up-go to school-come back-eat-study-and sleep,and pray in between.Nothing special, or big-deal, is there?

Praises to Allah(swt), my family is very religious and co-operative and back me up whenevr there is row; some time my parents scold me yes, but mostly they love me.

The place I live in is Jamia Nagar, new Delhi, and most of the people here r muslim, praises to God.Though every one is not 'so' religious, people here r a bit ignorant too; but alhamdulillah, during ramazan one can see the strong hold down here.

I like the way it is(though it may sound dull).

Regards,Dayem.

"the mooslims! they're heeere!"
LOONWATCH.COM

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Topic: A "Person with two different lives."
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Author	Message
aishag88 Groupie Joined: 27 August 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 97	Topic: A "Person with two different lives." Posted: 12 October 2005 at 11:43am
	"When i read both stories you sound like a different person with two different lifes..." Yes Sister, that is how I feel. One moment I am modest and calm, and the next I am angar and doing things I should not. Sisters, I don't think I should tell you all I have done... Has anyone every felt like this? Has anyone felt trapped? Like they trapped them selfs in something and don't know how to get out? They are confused and don't know what to do. I feel I need help, but everyone tells me the same thing, "Thats wrong, why are you doing this?! Its Haraam!" I know its haraam, and I am not inngoring what I am doing is wrong, I know it is. I want to please Allah, but i keep giving in to wrong things. Ya Allah, Would I be a hypocrite? I don't even know if i'm allowed to say that about myself...but I feel that I try to be good muslim, and at the same time i am being bad, doing bad things... Salaam Alikum
	IP Logged

karimah Groupie Joined: 09 October 2005 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 64	Posted: 12 October 2005 at 12:43pm
	Asalam Alaikum Aishag88 I am sorry if i offended you i did not mean to. And yes i do feel like you sometimes.
	IP Logged

herjihad Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2473	Posted: 12 October 2005 at 1:39pm
	Bismillah, Aisha, the devil wants to take control of our lives with guilt and depression as his tools. Try to work on one or two things at a time that you think you can change permanently that are important to you and important to being a Muslim girl. If some people can do everything, then Allah, SWT, bless them. I cannot and never have been able to. Maybe it's your age. I think when I was younger I thought I was supposed to do more. Well, I know that I am, but I know that Allah, SWT, is the Most Merciful. That means he is more merciful than anyone here or anywhere else who might want to condemn you or I. Keep trying. May Allah, SWT, be with you always.
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
	IP Logged

ummziba Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 16 March 2005 Location: Canada Online Status: Offline Posts: 1158	Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:16pm
	Assalamu alaikum sister aisha, It isn't easy being 17 for anybody! Add to that your struggle with Islam and dealing with family and school, is it any wonder you are feeling as you are! Here are some things to try and remember: Allah loves you. Our Merciful Creator loves you when you struggle to do the right thing. He loves you when you repent for doing the wrong thing. Allah's Mercy is so great He will forgive anything (except associating others with Him). Turn to Allah in sincerity. Pray. Ask forgiveness for anything that needs to be forgiven. Keep struggling to do the right thing. The life of this world is a trial for all of us, we all have good times and bad times, good days and terrible days, good thoughts and bad thoughts, and we all struggle to do what is right. As long as you keep the intention of serving Allah in your heart above all else, you will find it easier to do just that. When you falter, stop doing the wrong, ask sincerely for forgiveness from Allah, and try harder to not do it the next time. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a human being, and we are not perfect! Everyone makes mistakes or does the wrong thing sometimes. The important thing is to ask forgiveness from Allah, and try harder to do the right thing by keeping Allah in your mind and your heart at all times. It is easy to get frustrated when one is trying to learn a lot of things. Be easy on yourself and listen to herjihad's good advice about learning a few things at a time instead of all at once, it is good advice. There is always help for you. Spiritually, you can call on Allah anytime you need Him, He answers the prayers of all who pray sincerely. The sisters here are always happy to try to give advice or encouragement. You should try to get to know some sisters your age who are good role models for you (not ones who do the wrong things). When you are feeling overwhelmed or confused, stop, take a few deep breathes and then say a prayer to Allah for help and guidance. Always try to think about the positive things in your life, rather than dwelling on any negative things. Try hard to keep the attitude that Allah is always watching you, so that you can act accordingly. Remember, you are a Muslim, Allah loves you. Try hard to love Him back by doing the things that please Him! Give yourself a break -you deserve to be all that you can be. You deserve to have the love and mercy of your Lord. You are worthy of being a good person and a happy person. Hope this helps a tiny bit! Peace, ummziba.
	Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
	IP Logged

hakeema Female Islam Groupie Joined: 10 October 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 97	Posted: 12 October 2005 at 2:54pm
	As-Salaam Alaikum Sisters, I like this forum website. I have been to other Islamic websites people are crazy and they argue too much. On here I feel a calm, cool, and collected energy on here. But I just want to add my two cents. All of us as muslims goes through this. When you make a decision to give your life totally to Allah, changes take place in your life. There are things you have to give up, so just take your time. Take one day at a time. Like Sister Ummziba said about being 17 or being a teenager wasn't easy for me also. High School was very depressing time for me, eventhough I wasn't muslim. You want to do what everyone else is doing. But as you learn you have to be who you are. You have to be your own person. Even if choose to be muslim or not, or wear hijab or not people are going to talk about you anyway. So be true to yourself. Hakeema
	IP Logged

Dayem Senior Member Joined: 23 August 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 520	Posted: 13 October 2005 at 1:59am
	*Originally posted by Ummziba* It isn't easy being 17 for anybody! Oh, I dont think I agree with u.Im 17 but dont feel any pressure.Dunno why.
	"the mooslims! they're heeere!" LOONWATCH.COM
	IP Logged

herjihad Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2473	Posted: 13 October 2005 at 5:53am
	Bismillah, Dayem, that's very interesting! Tell us why life is easy for you as a 17-year old, please. (Do you live in India with your Muslim family or near a strong Muslim support system?) Sometimes I see a happily married couple and I think that somebody's got to be happy and peaceful in this world!
	Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
	IP Logged

Dayem Senior Member Joined: 23 August 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 520	Posted: 15 October 2005 at 10:14am
	You mean to say (herjihad) that I explain why my life is easy-peasy?Well, how to explain it-Alhamdullilah, Allah (swt) wants it that way-maybe? I get up-go to school-come back-eat-study-and sleep,and pray in between.Nothing special, or big-deal, is there? Praises to Allah(swt), my family is very religious and co-operative and back me up whenevr there is row; some time my parents scold me yes, but mostly they love me. The place I live in is Jamia Nagar, new Delhi, and most of the people here r muslim, praises to God.Though every one is not 'so' religious, people here r a bit ignorant too; but alhamdulillah, during ramazan one can see the strong hold down here. I like the way it is(though it may sound dull). Regards,Dayem.
	"the mooslims! they're heeere!" LOONWATCH.COM
	IP Logged