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lady
 
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Quote lady Replybullet Topic: The most unfriendliest mosque
    Posted: 27 July 2013 at 12:36pm
As-Salaamoalaikum everyone. My job is to travel to different states every three months. I want to start a blog about what my TRUE experience is as a traveling muslim. I want to talk about all the people I have interacted with, the places I have seen, and the adventurers I have done as a muslim.
Since I have been traveling for 2.5 years to different states, I visited a lot of mosques. Out of all the mosques I visited, I only came across two of them that was not so friendly. I just recently arrived to my new state last week, and this is the second mosque, I have attended that is not so welcoming at all. If I start this blog, I want it to be a positive insight on what a muslim woman is like. And that she is not just about cooking, cleaning and raising children. Anyway, If I do this blog, then it will be based on honesty, the good and the bad experiences I have had. So that means that in my blog, I would have to mentioned that this mosque that I am attending now is not so friendly at all. What do you muslims think about it?
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Zeky
 
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Quote Zeky Replybullet Posted: 19 August 2013 at 5:00pm
Masha Allah. I think that'd be an awesome idea to start up a blog about your travels. Why do you say the current mosque you're going to isn't so friendly? What is it that makes it so unwelcoming?
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 20 August 2013 at 6:26am

Salaam. 
Thanks for taking out the time to repond to my question. I really appreciate it. First I would like to say that at the time that I wrote this question on this forum, I also had told my friends and my family about my idea more in details than what I Written here. They thought that it would be cool as well that I can give people an insight of many things but mainly on my experiences as a Muslim woman traveling in America and overseas. what i have found is that alot of people just do not travel. and if they do then their travel is still restricted to not getting to really know the people in that area. So therefore i wanted to share my experiences that I have seen while spending time with all different people and even talking about mainly the positive experiences that I hear from nonmuslims etc. for example, on several occasions I have met nonmuslim Americans who really hate how Islam is portrayed in the media and they talk about praying for Muslims. Maybe some Muslims and nonmuslims are not aware of this type of sympathy. Because I have been to places where the hate for Muslims were so strong that it was rare for a Muslim to see sympathy from nonmuslims. Or there are people who never in their life met a Muslim. I see this alot in America, and it is shocking that I could be the first Muslim u ever talked too or even seen in your life. So therefore, those people tend to be shocked that I don't represent what they viewed as a woman who is oppressed by her religion. They are shocked that I am opinionated and even something as simple as saying to me, "wow u are so kind." So therefore I felt like I could really create a positive blog that would teach people so much about who a Muslim woman is, and what many of experiences that she may face in society as she interacts with people, etc. even though I had my imam, friends and family to encourage me to do this blog, I wanted to see what the Muslims who don't know me well would think about certain things that I may write about. Maybe it would also help us to correct some things that we never thought of before that happens in our community such as how we welcome new people in our mosques. Keep in mind that since I have traveled that I only felt like I was not welcomed at two mosques but the feeling was so overwhelming that I was too surprised by their actions towards me. 
Anway, to answer your question, I was so excited that i was coming to a city that had a mosque. My last assignment, I was forced to stay there for six months because it snowed all the way to mid April and I arrived in that state in January. So therefore it would have been dangerious for me to travel through the snow. The closet mosque was 1.5 hours away by car. I have not seen a Muslim in that city for 6 months. And when the "Boston bomber" was accused of killing people, I felt the silent pressure of being accused or being attacked because I am Muslim: and I stood out as being Muslim because it seemed that I was the only Muslim in my city. So when I found out that my next assignment was across the country and that city had Muslims, i immediately became too overwhelmed. I was so happy that I emailed the mosque and left a message on their answering machine. But no one returned my call or even emaiIss me back. I even joined a yahoo group that the sisters started in that city. I ended up joining the yahoo group, and I emailed them and told them how excited I was to meet them because I have not seen a Muslim in six months etc. I introduced myself to them and said that I would be traveling for almost five days, more than 10 hours a day to get there. But never the less, I can't wait to meet them. I was feeling already horrible that I had to travel during the first week of Ramadan because I could not fast. To my surprise, no one replied to my message or even said Salams.But I quickly realized that the forum was somewhat active. When I arrived to the mosque, it was the day after I arrived to that city. And I was happy, it was jumah and I really wanted to catch up on my Quran reading after jumah. One hour after jumah This guy comes to the women section of the musalah and he tells me that I must leave th mosque. I asked him why and he told me that because I do not have a companion with me that I must go because the women can not be alone. And I told him that I just arrived in this state, and I traveled so far, so I don't know any sisters yet. I also said to him that I never heard of having to have a companion accompany me to the mosque. He said well we are responsible for u and that if something happens to u like a stranger comes to the mosque and attack u then it would not be good. Wallahi, I was holding back my tears because I never heard of this is my life. I like to stay at the mosque to read the Quran because I am more focused when I am not in my home. I never been the type of person who could study in my home. After i left the mosque, i googled the halal store that I found online which was 1.5 hours away from me and asked to speak to the manager so that I can get the imam in my city personal cell phone. I told him what happened to me through tears and he said that since there is not a halal store in my city, that sometimes he has to travel to my city to bring the meat. And he stops at the mosque too and find that it is close so therefore he is unable to make his prayers inside of it. I contacted the imam and I told him what happened to me. And he said that currently that is the rule that was made by the people on the board. And even though he is against it, it is currently being revised. He told me that this guy should have explained to me why this rule was made. 
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lady
 
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 20 August 2013 at 6:26am

He said that this rule was made because there were some people who were left at the mosque, because they thought that they were Muslims. So they found out later that those people were robbing the mosque and the police had to come inside the mosque to lock them up. He said that this does not give good publicity to their community. So I told him that even if this happens, there should never be a time before isha that a Muslims or someone comes to he mosque and find the doors locked. So if this is going to be a rule then they need to train people on how to tell others that they have to have a companion with them when they want to stay there after the prayers. Also, if a person comes there and find that the mosque is closed then they need to have numbers listed on a paper so that person can call someone to open the mosque. Lastly, I mentioned that there is a friend who i met at my last assignment. And she never met a Muslim in her life. So Allah has blessed her to like me to the point that she wanted to travel to the same places that I go too even though she has the same independence to travel to any place because we have the same career. So what would she think of if she was in the mosque with me that day for the first time and then she witnessed that guy saying to me to leave like he did. Because his English was limited, he came off as extremely rude even though, I understood that he could not express himself well. So anyway, even though my heart was aching alot because of what happened to me( not getting an message back to welcome me on that yahoo group and being told to leave the mosque), I still decided to go to Iftar that night for the first time in that city. I went to Iftar, and there were like 7 people there. We all sat at the same stable. Four of the women from the same country was sitting across from the rest of us. two of the girls who were sitting on my side were new to the mosque. One girl has been in this country for three months and the other on my side has just converted to Islam.
What I normally do when I go to a mosque is to sit back and wait to be welcomed. Because I want to know how the people embrace newcomers such as nonmuslims or just a new visitor like myself. We sat at the table for 2 hours to eat and none of the four people who were sitting across from me could even make eye contact with me. They purposely avoided interacting with me. How can u sit across from someone and not embraced them when u know that they are new. They would talk to the other two girls who were sitting next to me but they would not talk to me or even look at me. Eventually all the people left the table and one of those four girls from the same country came to the girl who I was talking too and asked her is she wanted tea. She did not even offer me tea. And also later she comes back to us and invited the girl to Iftar for the following weekend but did not offer me. Wallahi, these behaviors were so rude and shocking. I am a pretty confident person but I still felt bad as a new comer. Can u imagine what a nonmuslims would have felt or even observed if she was in my company? Anyway for like four days, out of 30 Muslims women, only five salaamed me. Some who spoke English fluently would tap my shoulder and ask me if I understood Arabic. Once I told them no then they walked away. Does this makes sense. I finally asked that new convert who has been coming to the mosque for one year if she knewalot of people at the mosque because I told her about my disappointment in the people there. And she told me that she too know only a few people. This sister has been Muslim for one year and she is the only Muslim In her family. She is also young and unmarried so therefore we should be even more aggressive in making her feel like she has a strong support system at the mosque. She told me that she also lives one hour away from the mosque: anyway, I decided to talk to another one of those ladies who salaamed me and complain about the "no hospitality" that I felt there. She said that she been at that Mosque for three or more years and other people talked about the same thing I complained about but they said it in much an indirect way. She said that from her experience I am the first person to speak directly about the Muslim behaviors to others in the community. She even said that some has even left the city because they felt like the people at this mosque was so unfriendly. I told her that we have only one time most of the times to turn a nonmuslim away from Islam or to give them a lasting impression about Muslims. So I asked the third lady who salaamed me who was the lady in the mosque who participated the most with everything that goes on at the mosque. I went to that lady and told her exactly how I felt about what I experienced there. After I told her about my experience, I did have maybe 10 or more come to talk to me and offer me food, water, salaam me, like a normal person would do if u are new to the area. At the end of that day, I felt like I was inside a real mosque. Now I am happy, and I was able to break the barrier that I felt there. As far as not being able to stay alone in the mosque after prayer time, i have decided that I would never leave a mosque again when asked too by someone . If I so happens to go to a mosque and see that the mosque and the gate locked then I will still make prayer infront of the gate or infront of the mosque for many personal reasons. 
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 28 October 2013 at 5:32pm
Alhamdilulah
I have been wanting to write over a week now updates about my experience I had at this particular mosque. Alhamdulilah, Allah has blessed me to get to know a lot of the sisters there, and my experience has been far above the best experience I had since traveling to so many different mosque. Trust me, I always usually enjoy myself with the muslims.   It is rare for me to live in an area and feel unwelcomed at a mosque. Every since those mishaps occurred and I talked to the sisters that one time, I immediately felt like I was amongst my blood relatives. Alhamdulilah, the last week that I was in that state, the sisters threw me three different good bye parties. My heart always ache when I have to leave a state to move to another one because of all the muslims friends I made at the mosque. But the pain of leaving this mosque was so strong that my memories of their kindness and hospitality will be remembered for a long time.






Edited by lady - 28 October 2013 at 5:32pm
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semar
 
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Quote semar Replybullet Posted: 29 October 2013 at 12:24pm
Alahmadulillah.
Salam/Peace,
Semar
The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"
"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 30 October 2013 at 6:57am
Mujahid (rahimahullah) said, 'Ibn 'Abbas (radhiallahu `anhu) saw a man and said, 'Indeed he loves me.' They said, 'And how do you know?!' He said, 'Because I love him and souls are like recruited soldiers, those that recognise one another unite in harmony and those that do not recognise one another are at an aversion.'


It is narrated from Abu Huraira (radhiallahu `anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam said, “Souls are like recruited soldiers, those that recognise one another unite in harmony and those that do not recognise one another are at an aversion.” [Sahih Muslim]
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