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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Please Help A Sister Post Reply Post New Topic
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SisterInNeed
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Quote SisterInNeed Replybullet Topic: Please Help A Sister
    Posted: 11 March 2013 at 10:00am
Salaam,

I have been wanting to write my problem here for a few days but I guess I didn't have the courage. I'm really stressed at the moment. My husband and I have separated. The problem wasn't my husband but rather his mother who insulted me and my family on a daily basis. We've been married 2 years and have a daughter who is 6 months old. We have been separated 2 months now. I was forced out by the constant criticism as we lived with his parents. My mother in law had a big argument with me and I came to my parents.

My parents are angry at what I have been enduring and would prefer it if me and husband lived separately. It's not as if we can't afford to do that and he has other younger brothers that can live with his parents. Anyway, my husband being the mummy's boy he is, isn't standing up for me and our child and is doing what his parents are saying which is to divorce me as I'm not good enough for his family.

However, the good that's come out of it is that I have started my namaz and I have got closer to Allah swt which gives me peace. My in laws are practising but husband is not. I just feel stuck as I don't know where I stand. My in laws have packed all mine and my daughters belongings and have dropped it off at my parents house. My parents are saying because they've removed all your things and this means they will make my husband divorce me.

I don't know what advice I'm looking for but I don't want to divorce my husband as we were fine and happy. My husband no longer speaks to me and has cut all contact off. I know this isn't what he wants but is being pressured by his parents and doesn't have it in him to stand up for us. My husband is no child, he's in his 30's.

What do you think I should do?
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 12 March 2013 at 8:18am
Send his mom a gift along with an apology.  Continue to draw closer to Allah, make dua, and wait....
 
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SisterInNeed
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Quote SisterInNeed Replybullet Posted: 12 March 2013 at 10:41am
If a gift would change anything then I surely would but giving a gift to my mother in law would not change her mind. She doesn't like me as I am not the same caste as her and my husband married me out of his own choice.

Giving a gift wouldn't change the fact that my husband hasn't stood up for me and by this I dont mean to leave his family but he could at least stick up for me and our child. I just don't know how his mum has managed to keep him away as we were really close and happy.

I will always stay close to Allah swt and do dua all the time. I am just really stressed as I don't know where I stand. Neither side of the families are speaking and the issue is being ignored.
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 12 March 2013 at 10:27pm
I mentioned a gift and apology.  Dua is important, however we need to take practical steps toward success.  It is Allah who can change hearts, and even if your mother-in-law doesn't accept your sincere apology, perhaps your husband will be affected by your outreach to his mom.
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irfiaffu123
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Quote irfiaffu123 Replybullet Posted: 12 April 2013 at 3:55am
sorry for you sister.
 
My advise is, speak with your husband and ask him what is the probem ?
 
Gift him the rights of wife and husband in islam book.
 
You start reading quran daily for min 15 mins and make dua,
 
within some time he will come back to you..

Irfhan Basha
Riyadh, Saudi
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SisterInNeed
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Quote SisterInNeed Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 10:24am
I would speak to him but he won't talk to me. His parents are pressurising him. I believe one should respect their parents but if parents are telling you to leave your wife and child then that's wrong. Alhamdulilah I do pray and I'm closer to Allah swt than I've ever been.

Just wish my husband would realise what he's doing and get strength to do what's right. Just don't know what to do
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Nausheen
 
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Quote Nausheen Replybullet Posted: 27 June 2013 at 8:59pm
Originally posted by abuayisha



I mentioned a gift and apology. Dua is important, however we need to take practical steps toward success. It is Allah who can change hearts, and even if your mother-in-law doesn't accept your sincere apology, perhaps your husband will be affected by your outreach to his mom.


Very good advice!
Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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